Well, after a 14yr battle against crack cocaine, it appears as if my brother has lost. He's on the loose and has pawned everything out of his house he could pack up, left his wife and 3 kids with nothing but a failed business and no transportation and has not repaid thousands of dollars borrowed from family to keep the business going. He's on a binge now and has with him (I suspect) a "street gun" Sig 226 in .357. He had told me he had gotten rid of it but looking back now I'm sure he lied to me then like he has lied to everyone else. Unfortunately, it appears as if this time he will not be returning. We're just waiting for him to turn up somewhere. He frequents South Dallas and I have no idea where he is, nor do I have the desire to go find him. (probably the worst idea anyway)
All my life I thought that if I were around, maybe I could have made a change in his life by being there for him and had a terrible time with guilt over it during the 10yrs I was in the Military. I realize now that it's his own personal issues but it doesn't make things much better. He stated already that he will not go back to prison, so we expect the worst. Please keep the men and women of the Dallas Police Dept in your prayers as they'll have to be dealing with him sometime......probably sooner than later.
Is there anything I can do in the interim with the police to keep them aware of what's going on? I can only suspect he still has this pistol but he has mentioned that he can get street guns very easy, so I fear he's probably armed.
Sucks when it's your family, but there's other lives and families that should be thought of first now.
I'sd be happy to post some of his info if anyone would care to know. Not sure if it's permitted.
Losing a brother to crack
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age_ranger
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Losing a brother to crack
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Just remember: Your very best thinking got you where you are now!!!
Just remember: Your very best thinking got you where you are now!!!
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longtooth
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Age,
This has nothing to do w/ you not being there.
If you were "there" you could have been an influience as long as he was in you presence. I have seen this for over 30 yrs pastoring a church.
As soon as he got out of your presence the same thing would happen.
Not your fault any more than others in the family that loaned him money too.
The cocain demon controls lives beyond my imagination.
I will pray for you, the Dallas LEOs & your brother too.
Sometimes even the preacher does not have an answer. All we can do is be there. The people of this board will stand beside you.
LT.
This has nothing to do w/ you not being there.
If you were "there" you could have been an influience as long as he was in you presence. I have seen this for over 30 yrs pastoring a church.
As soon as he got out of your presence the same thing would happen.
Not your fault any more than others in the family that loaned him money too.
The cocain demon controls lives beyond my imagination.
I will pray for you, the Dallas LEOs & your brother too.
Sometimes even the preacher does not have an answer. All we can do is be there. The people of this board will stand beside you.
LT.
Carry 24-7 or guess right.
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Venus Pax
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I know it's hard to come to terms with the fact that you can't really help someone that doesn't want help. It's hard when it's your own family.
I appreciate the fact that you don't try to defend his actions at the expense of others.
I appreciate the fact that you don't try to defend his actions at the expense of others.
"If a man breaks in your house, he ain't there for iced tea." Mom & Dad.
The NRA & TSRA are a bargain; they're much cheaper than the cold, dead hands experience.
The NRA & TSRA are a bargain; they're much cheaper than the cold, dead hands experience.
Man age_ranger,
Sorry to hear about your brother.
I have personally known two coworkers/friends that have taken the crack dive also. Once they get hooked, there aint nothing short of detention that can get them to stop.
Sad to hear that he stated "he won't go back to prison", and is probably packing. Hopefully that was just bravado, since most crack addicts will sell their soul, much less a pistol, for their next fix.
I'll let others respond about talking with the police. Unless he has broken the law, is there anything they can do?
I know its hard on you and your family, but it wasn't yours or theirs fault, just his, for taking that first hit.
Dan
Sorry to hear about your brother.
I have personally known two coworkers/friends that have taken the crack dive also. Once they get hooked, there aint nothing short of detention that can get them to stop.
Sad to hear that he stated "he won't go back to prison", and is probably packing. Hopefully that was just bravado, since most crack addicts will sell their soul, much less a pistol, for their next fix.
I'll let others respond about talking with the police. Unless he has broken the law, is there anything they can do?
I know its hard on you and your family, but it wasn't yours or theirs fault, just his, for taking that first hit.
Dan
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hi-power
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I'm very sorry to hear that you and your family are going through this. All I can say is you are not alone.
I just dealt with a similar problem with my older brother last weekend. Some of my mother's nice rings were pawned, a check of hers was forged, and numerous other things. He's an alcoholic, but this time it was a prescription drug that he apparently wanted a lot more of and didn't care who he stole money and things from to get it. I couldn't get him to tell me where his Kimber .45 was. I suspect it was either pawned or he hid it and wasn't going to give it up. Believe me it did enter my mind that he might have been drugged up enough to pull it on me as I was booting him out the door. That's just another memory that people on drugs leave you to deal with.
I lost my only other older brother to a prescription pain killer addiction 2 years ago...and he was a successful CEO of a small tech company. I had always thought that making a ton of money was a good thing.
I understand your concern about a potential shootout with police, although there's not much you can do beyond possibly giving a heads-up to the police that cover that area of South Dallas. Hopefully someone here can give you a name and number to call.
I guess that the only thing I've learned with my older brothers is that there is not much that a family member can do to help other than to be there when HE decides to stop doing drugs. Lord knows we've tried everything. Whether your brother has burned that bridge or not, you'll have to decide, if he comes back.
My brother that is still alive told me a few years ago that he strives to act more like me because I seem to always do the right thing. I said that not to toot my own horn but to help explain that no matter what role model you have been or could have been, your brother has decided to do what he wanted to do, going against your better judgment. My brother has (again) done the same.
On a more positive note, one of the advantages of my being the youngest kid in a multi-kid family is that I get to see the consequences of my older siblings actions and that makes for, in my opinion, a lot better choices in life.
I just dealt with a similar problem with my older brother last weekend. Some of my mother's nice rings were pawned, a check of hers was forged, and numerous other things. He's an alcoholic, but this time it was a prescription drug that he apparently wanted a lot more of and didn't care who he stole money and things from to get it. I couldn't get him to tell me where his Kimber .45 was. I suspect it was either pawned or he hid it and wasn't going to give it up. Believe me it did enter my mind that he might have been drugged up enough to pull it on me as I was booting him out the door. That's just another memory that people on drugs leave you to deal with.
I lost my only other older brother to a prescription pain killer addiction 2 years ago...and he was a successful CEO of a small tech company. I had always thought that making a ton of money was a good thing.
I understand your concern about a potential shootout with police, although there's not much you can do beyond possibly giving a heads-up to the police that cover that area of South Dallas. Hopefully someone here can give you a name and number to call.
I guess that the only thing I've learned with my older brothers is that there is not much that a family member can do to help other than to be there when HE decides to stop doing drugs. Lord knows we've tried everything. Whether your brother has burned that bridge or not, you'll have to decide, if he comes back.
My brother that is still alive told me a few years ago that he strives to act more like me because I seem to always do the right thing. I said that not to toot my own horn but to help explain that no matter what role model you have been or could have been, your brother has decided to do what he wanted to do, going against your better judgment. My brother has (again) done the same.
On a more positive note, one of the advantages of my being the youngest kid in a multi-kid family is that I get to see the consequences of my older siblings actions and that makes for, in my opinion, a lot better choices in life.
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jbirds1210
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ScubaSigGuy
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AR,
I am very sorry to hear about this. I agree with LT as I watched a friend go through a similar situation and despite our best attempts to intervene and let his family know what was going he found a way to do what he wanted when left alone for any length of time.
My best wishes to you and your family as well as your brothers wife and children. Be sure to keep you and yours safe during this time.
I am very sorry to hear about this. I agree with LT as I watched a friend go through a similar situation and despite our best attempts to intervene and let his family know what was going he found a way to do what he wanted when left alone for any length of time.
My best wishes to you and your family as well as your brothers wife and children. Be sure to keep you and yours safe during this time.
Last edited by ScubaSigGuy on Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
S.S.G.
"A champion doesn’t become a champion in the ring. He is merely recognized in the ring.The ‘becoming’ happens during his daily routine." Joe Louis
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"A champion doesn’t become a champion in the ring. He is merely recognized in the ring.The ‘becoming’ happens during his daily routine." Joe Louis
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CHL/LEO
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Sure can - being a convicted felon with a handgun or if he's on any kind of probation or parole. It just depends upon his particular circumstances or situation.Unless he has broken the law, is there anything they can do?
If he's in south Dallas scoring dope he needs to be more worried about the dealers than the police. Does he have any warrants out that are associated with his license plate?
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Houston1944
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craig_o
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I've unfortunately had a couple friends go down the path of addiction. While it's absolutely true that nobody can make you drink or drug, this stuff can take a life of its own after that decision. For what it's worth, I was very upset when my best friend at the time went off the deep end with powder cocaine and I sought out my pastor to try and make sense of it all... how could he, what was he thinking, how could these choices possibly make any sense to him, et cetera... he looked at me dead in the eye and said that to better understand the sort of grip on reality my friend was in I ought to head to a highway underpass, find a wino and try and have a thoughtful political discussion... sense, reason and logic just ain't there.
Nobody can change an addict... they've got to make the decision themselves. For my friend he hit rock bottom and had what he described as a moment of clarity that got him into rehab and on with his life. It isn't hopeless by any means. It isn't a death sentence. From what I've heard from my now-recovered friend, all I could have done (and did) was be there when he was ready for change and was willing to adopt different behaviors to demonstrate his sincerity.
Hope that helps some.
Nobody can change an addict... they've got to make the decision themselves. For my friend he hit rock bottom and had what he described as a moment of clarity that got him into rehab and on with his life. It isn't hopeless by any means. It isn't a death sentence. From what I've heard from my now-recovered friend, all I could have done (and did) was be there when he was ready for change and was willing to adopt different behaviors to demonstrate his sincerity.
Hope that helps some.
In Texas, we have the death penalty and we use it. In Texas, if you kill somebody we're gonna kill you back.
Sorry to hear the news about your brother, it's effect on the family and you. Best of luck for a good outcome during these trying times.
Craig - This sounds like some sage advice. Thank you.
From what I've heard from my now-recovered friend, all I could have done (and did) was be there when he was ready for change and was willing to adopt different behaviors to demonstrate his sincerity.
Craig - This sounds like some sage advice. Thank you.
From what I've heard from my now-recovered friend, all I could have done (and did) was be there when he was ready for change and was willing to adopt different behaviors to demonstrate his sincerity.