Woman held at gunpoint

[EEllis]

My brother uses a maxpedition pack that works great for him especially in the outdoors or during strenuous activity. I don't consider it any different than a fanny pack and while ugly those work well. The key is that none of those things are worn in a way that makes them easy to separate from yourself.

I'm going to take a wild guess that your brother isn't someone who would be easily knocked over by a 150lb tweaker who grabbed his maxpedition bag.

Well no that's true but I doubt a 150 lb tweaker would be real excited by the idea of dragging a 120 lb woman around either.

[LadyLightening]

I forgot to add that I wouldn't ever consider drawing if there was one pointed at me, I just don't know what the reaction should be. I know I'm thinking too much into it but in my situation it wouldn't hurt not to. A "stalker" is my reasoning behind getting my CHL and taking self defense classes. Police won't do anything until it's physical and with this guy it's not if but when. Every incident is being called in for a trail and I'm also written down dates and times. Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, just looking for advice. If it helps, I don't personally know the guy. I was introduced to him through a friend's friend and he had tagged along... Hope that makes sense.

If I understand the above to indicate that this individual is following you around and giving you attention you don't want, that can lead to a potentially serious situation.

You might consider asking the folks in the introduction chain to tell him to cease and desist.

If that doesn't work you might also look into getting a restraining order.

What do you mean by introduction chain? I had a hearing for a restraining order the first week of October and it wasn't in my favor. Since then it's gotten worse so that's why I'm documenting EVERYTHING this time. It's to the point where I'm not even comfortable in my own house. I don't want to keep crashing at my parents house so I've installed a 8 camera security system with motion activated cameras that alerts me on my phone when they're activated... Haven't had anything on those yet but they've only been on for 3 days! Other than that,
I have a German Shepard who's pretty good at knowing when someone steps only property and a big brother 5 minutes away.

By "introduction chain" I was referring to the "friend of a friend" who brought you into contact with the person you're concerned about. They didn't do you any favor there, but they may have some influence with the other party that might be leveraged to deescalate the current state of affairs.

Although you haven't made clear if any direct threats have been made, it's clear that you're very concerned about this person and are taking prudent precautions to manage the situation. Situational awareness is key - early detection at a distance gives you lots of options.

Cameras and other equipment are helpful, but an adult german shepherd is a huge asset - no one who intends harm to you will approach undetected while the dog is close to you, and folks who try to take on those dogs generally do not fare well in the encounter.

The introductory chain friend isn't really a friend anymore and we've had a falling out because I came to them with this. There haven't been direct threats but he's stood outside my house in the street just staring. I'll go outside in the morning to find notes outside my house or stuff that has been messed with, left, and things like that. The screen on my window has been cut. The only things he's ever really said to me is "you're really going to like it." Other than that, it's just a lot of sitting outside my house, bombarded with prank calls, and the occasional sighting once I go out. My dog is an adult, Ace is very protective of me and isn't fond of strangers or kids. I'm exhausted with looking over my shoulder every minute of the day. If he does escalate it, I *think* I'm ready for him but there's also the feeling that after everything I may have the scary movie girl reaction which is scream, run, and get cornered. What's going on inside his mind that thinks this is okay?? Is it a mental health issue? A fetish? I just don't get it!!!

[Excaliber]

I forgot to add that I wouldn't ever consider drawing if there was one pointed at me, I just don't know what the reaction should be. I know I'm thinking too much into it but in my situation it wouldn't hurt not to. A "stalker" is my reasoning behind getting my CHL and taking self defense classes. Police won't do anything until it's physical and with this guy it's not if but when. Every incident is being called in for a trail and I'm also written down dates and times. Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, just looking for advice. If it helps, I don't personally know the guy. I was introduced to him through a friend's friend and he had tagged along... Hope that makes sense.

If I understand the above to indicate that this individual is following you around and giving you attention you don't want, that can lead to a potentially serious situation.

You might consider asking the folks in the introduction chain to tell him to cease and desist.

If that doesn't work you might also look into getting a restraining order.

What do you mean by introduction chain? I had a hearing for a restraining order the first week of October and it wasn't in my favor. Since then it's gotten worse so that's why I'm documenting EVERYTHING this time. It's to the point where I'm not even comfortable in my own house. I don't want to keep crashing at my parents house so I've installed a 8 camera security system with motion activated cameras that alerts me on my phone when they're activated... Haven't had anything on those yet but they've only been on for 3 days! Other than that,
I have a German Shepard who's pretty good at knowing when someone steps only property and a big brother 5 minutes away.

By "introduction chain" I was referring to the "friend of a friend" who brought you into contact with the person you're concerned about. They didn't do you any favor there, but they may have some influence with the other party that might be leveraged to deescalate the current state of affairs.

Although you haven't made clear if any direct threats have been made, it's clear that you're very concerned about this person and are taking prudent precautions to manage the situation. Situational awareness is key - early detection at a distance gives you lots of options.

Cameras and other equipment are helpful, but an adult german shepherd is a huge asset - no one who intends harm to you will approach undetected while the dog is close to you, and folks who try to take on those dogs generally do not fare well in the encounter.

The introductory chain friend isn't really a friend anymore and we've had a falling out because I came to them with this. There haven't been direct threats but he's stood outside my house in the street just staring. I'll go outside in the morning to find notes outside my house or stuff that has been messed with, left, and things like that. The screen on my window has been cut. The only things he's ever really said to me is "you're really going to like it." Other than that, it's just a lot of sitting outside my house, bombarded with prank calls, and the occasional sighting once I go out. My dog is an adult, Ace is very protective of me and isn't fond of strangers or kids. I'm exhausted with looking over my shoulder every minute of the day. If he does escalate it, I *think* I'm ready for him but there's also the feeling that after everything I may have the scary movie girl reaction which is scream, run, and get cornered. What's going on inside his mind that thinks this is okay?? Is it a mental health issue? A fetish? I just don't get it!!!

Yes, it's mental health issue and apparently a serious one. You're right to be concerned. The verbal remark you cite indicates he has thoughts of taking it to the physical level and he is fixated on you.

Not good.

If the phone he's calling is a land line, ask the phone company to place a trap on your line to document the time, date, and source of the calls and use that evidence to charge him criminally for them. Police are generally receptive to filing charges under these circumstances.

If it's a cell phone, you can get those records from the cellular provider as well. If there are a lot of calls, you may want to consider either changing your cell phone number or getting a temporary "pay as you go" phone that you use for day to day communication. If he never gets an answer on the phone, eventually he'll stop calling.

Consider having an attorney write him a "cease and desist" letter delivered by certified mail with return receipt to put him on documented legal notice. This can be used later if he continues to bother you.

You might also consider living with a relative or friend for a few weeks. I understand it would be a pain and would feel like you're letting him win, but if he doesn't get to see you come and go, the reward for spending time outside your residence diminishes rapidly and it may put an end to it.

Watch carefully for any escalation. Situations like this are not stable - they will either escalate or deescalate, and there's no way to say for sure which way yours will go.

The ideal scenario is that you remove his ability to see or contact you at will for a period of time long enough for his attention to shift elsewhere.

If he attempts to approach you outside, as soon as he takes a step toward you, putting your hands up in a "stop" gesture and loudly order him to not come any closer and to get away from you is a viable tactic. This means if he's fifty feet away, do this when he makes it to 48 feet. Make a scene that will be readily noticed by anyone nearby. If he continues to advance, it will be clear to everyone present that he is a threat. Shout loudly to bystanders that he is a stalker and to call 911 for you. You may warn him that if he continues to advance, you will treat him as an immediate threat.

Do whatever you can to keep things (cars, lamp posts, mailboxes, etc.) between you and him and to keep him from closing the distance to you. If you can't get away, you'll have to manage the situation according to what he does next.

Make sure you have a solid knowledge of the circumstances of when you can legally draw your handgun, when you can point it, and when you can fire it if needed. Make sure you also know what to do afterwards and how to work with responding police.

Pray that you never find yourself in this situation, but prepare yourself to do whatever it takes to come out of it intact if it presents itself.

[Robert*PPS]

A very disturbing situation. I pray for peace and protection.

[Charles L. Cotton]

Welcome to the Forum and I'm sorry to hear of your problem. What part of Texas do you call home?

Chas.

Hi, I'm new! Please don't shoot if I posted this in the wrong place. :)

I'm patiently waiting for my plastic to make its merry way to my mailbox. So, in the meantime I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for when I start carrying. I've been working on my situational awareness and taking self defense classes...I'm going to start out with purse carry. I know it's frowned upon but I want to get used to carrying then eventually switch to on body. Now I don't think this is really considered a "purse"... It's a very small coach cross body messenger bag, it won't fit much more than my glock 26! Anyways, I was just randomly thinking through scenarios and what my best course of action would be and this one just kind of got to me.

Let's say I'm carrying in my very accessible bag that would be resting on my hip. If I were to be held at gun point, wouldn't showing my gun automatically get me shot? In the past, I was robbed while bar hopping in downtown Dallas and I had thrown my bag in the opposite direction and ran for dear life in 3 inch heels and ended up with a stolen Louis and a broken ankle.

I know you're probably shaking your head after reading that but this was when I was 21 (25 now) and I thought I was invincible to everything! My situational awareness used to be terrible, I only hope now that with paying more attention to my surroundings I won't be put in that situation to where the bad guy gets the advantage on me.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate any feedback you may give :) Sorry it took so long to get to the point!

[Jaguar]

Welcome to the forum, lots of good advice in this thread and others.

I do have a problem with this statement though;

Also, I noticed you said you were drinking the first time you got held up. Perhaps using a knife as a last resort if you need. Of course if you're drinking, you can't carry. Not even a sip.

Hopefully nothing happens when you're out and about having a fun night!

Stay safe!
Cheers.

While good advice, it is not the law.

The law states you cannot be intoxicated and carry, otherwise I'd be in trouble after Mass (well, there and Chili's)

There are long drawn out discussions on this topic, sorry for the thread hijack. Welcome aboard.

[AlaskanInTexas]

Haven't thought this through all the way (and welcome criticism), but in-bag carry might have a tactical advantage if paired with a revolver: you can shoot through the bag when someone has the drop on you as you "retrieve your wallet" etc. Probably can't do this from on-body unless you are a super quick draw (and as others have said, probably not that great of an idea to try to draw on someone who already has you in their sights).

[LadyLightening]

Welcome to the Forum and I'm sorry to hear of your problem. What part of Texas do you call home?

Chas.

Hi, I'm new! Please don't shoot if I posted this in the wrong place. :)

I'm patiently waiting for my plastic to make its merry way to my mailbox. So, in the meantime I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for when I start carrying. I've been working on my situational awareness and taking self defense classes...I'm going to start out with purse carry. I know it's frowned upon but I want to get used to carrying then eventually switch to on body. Now I don't think this is really considered a "purse"... It's a very small coach cross body messenger bag, it won't fit much more than my glock 26! Anyways, I was just randomly thinking through scenarios and what my best course of action would be and this one just kind of got to me.

Let's say I'm carrying in my very accessible bag that would be resting on my hip. If I were to be held at gun point, wouldn't showing my gun automatically get me shot? In the past, I was robbed while bar hopping in downtown Dallas and I had thrown my bag in the opposite direction and ran for dear life in 3 inch heels and ended up with a stolen Louis and a broken ankle.

I know you're probably shaking your head after reading that but this was when I was 21 (25 now) and I thought I was invincible to everything! My situational awareness used to be terrible, I only hope now that with paying more attention to my surroundings I won't be put in that situation to where the bad guy gets the advantage on me.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate any feedback you may give :) Sorry it took so long to get to the point!

I'm in DFW. If you're looking for specifics, I live in Keller. For those unfamiliar, it's near the Texas motor speedway.

[LadyLightening]

I forgot to add that I wouldn't ever consider drawing if there was one pointed at me, I just don't know what the reaction should be. I know I'm thinking too much into it but in my situation it wouldn't hurt not to. A "stalker" is my reasoning behind getting my CHL and taking self defense classes. Police won't do anything until it's physical and with this guy it's not if but when. Every incident is being called in for a trail and I'm also written down dates and times. Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, just looking for advice. If it helps, I don't personally know the guy. I was introduced to him through a friend's friend and he had tagged along... Hope that makes sense.

If I understand the above to indicate that this individual is following you around and giving you attention you don't want, that can lead to a potentially serious situation.

You might consider asking the folks in the introduction chain to tell him to cease and desist.

If that doesn't work you might also look into getting a restraining order.

What do you mean by introduction chain? I had a hearing for a restraining order the first week of October and it wasn't in my favor. Since then it's gotten worse so that's why I'm documenting EVERYTHING this time. It's to the point where I'm not even comfortable in my own house. I don't want to keep crashing at my parents house so I've installed a 8 camera security system with motion activated cameras that alerts me on my phone when they're activated... Haven't had anything on those yet but they've only been on for 3 days! Other than that,
I have a German Shepard who's pretty good at knowing when someone steps only property and a big brother 5 minutes away.

By "introduction chain" I was referring to the "friend of a friend" who brought you into contact with the person you're concerned about. They didn't do you any favor there, but they may have some influence with the other party that might be leveraged to deescalate the current state of affairs.

Although you haven't made clear if any direct threats have been made, it's clear that you're very concerned about this person and are taking prudent precautions to manage the situation. Situational awareness is key - early detection at a distance gives you lots of options.

Cameras and other equipment are helpful, but an adult german shepherd is a huge asset - no one who intends harm to you will approach undetected while the dog is close to you, and folks who try to take on those dogs generally do not fare well in the encounter.

The introductory chain friend isn't really a friend anymore and we've had a falling out because I came to them with this. There haven't been direct threats but he's stood outside my house in the street just staring. I'll go outside in the morning to find notes outside my house or stuff that has been messed with, left, and things like that. The screen on my window has been cut. The only things he's ever really said to me is "you're really going to like it." Other than that, it's just a lot of sitting outside my house, bombarded with prank calls, and the occasional sighting once I go out. My dog is an adult, Ace is very protective of me and isn't fond of strangers or kids. I'm exhausted with looking over my shoulder every minute of the day. If he does escalate it, I *think* I'm ready for him but there's also the feeling that after everything I may have the scary movie girl reaction which is scream, run, and get cornered. What's going on inside his mind that thinks this is okay?? Is it a mental health issue? A fetish? I just don't get it!!!

Yes, it's mental health issue and apparently a serious one. You're right to be concerned. The verbal remark you cite indicates he has thoughts of taking it to the physical level and he is fixated on you.

Not good.

If the phone he's calling is a land line, ask the phone company to place a trap on your line to document the time, date, and source of the calls and use that evidence to charge him criminally for them. Police are generally receptive to filing charges under these circumstances.

If it's a cell phone, you can get those records from the cellular provider as well. If there are a lot of calls, you may want to consider either changing your cell phone number or getting a temporary "pay as you go" phone that you use for day to day communication. If he never gets an answer on the phone, eventually he'll stop calling.

Consider having an attorney write him a "cease and desist" letter delivered by certified mail with return receipt to put him on documented legal notice. This can be used later if he continues to bother you.

You might also consider living with a relative or friend for a few weeks. I understand it would be a pain and would feel like you're letting him win, but if he doesn't get to see you come and go, the reward for spending time outside your residence diminishes rapidly and it may put an end to it.

Watch carefully for any escalation. Situations like this are not stable - they will either escalate or deescalate, and there's no way to say for sure which way yours will go.

The ideal scenario is that you remove his ability to see or contact you at will for a period of time long enough for his attention to shift elsewhere.

If he attempts to approach you outside, as soon as he takes a step toward you, putting your hands up in a "stop" gesture and loudly order him to not come any closer and to get away from you is a viable tactic. This means if he's fifty feet away, do this when he makes it to 48 feet. Make a scene that will be readily noticed by anyone nearby. If he continues to advance, it will be clear to everyone present that he is a threat. Shout loudly to bystanders that he is a stalker and to call 911 for you. You may warn him that if he continues to advance, you will treat him as an immediate threat.

Do whatever you can to keep things (cars, lamp posts, mailboxes, etc.) between you and him and to keep him from closing the distance to you. If you can't get away, you'll have to manage the situation according to what he does next.

Make sure you have a solid knowledge of the circumstances of when you can legally draw your handgun, when you can point it, and when you can fire it if needed. Make sure you also know what to do afterwards and how to work with responding police.

Pray that you never find yourself in this situation, but prepare yourself to do whatever it takes to come out of it intact if it presents itself.

Thank you for all of the good info! I really appreciate the time you took to write and detail everything. My gun will be my last resort if this does indeed escalate. I have stayed with a friend for a two weeks and everything was quiet as can be but once I came home I got a day or so of peace and well you know. For the past few months I've been getting away with working at home and only going into the office once a week but here soon I will actually have to be in everyday! Big problem for me... I can't sleep at night anymore. I do all of my work at night and keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary and sleep during the day since his preference is night time. I COULD stay with my friend but I feel like it's such a burden on their lives! I'll be honest, if he is going to escalate I want it to be in my home. As
Long as I can get to my "safe" room, I just need him to follow. I've had self defense teachers come out and inspect my house and we went through different scenarios if someone were to break in... I've got goodies stashed at every entrance buddy! I'm staying positive about this though! I contacted an attorney today and meet with them on Monday. I will keep everyone updated. This is probably going to sound dumb but does his height and weight factor into this at all? He can't weigh very much more than me at 110. He's got a couple inches on me but that's it.

[Excaliber]

I forgot to add that I wouldn't ever consider drawing if there was one pointed at me, I just don't know what the reaction should be. I know I'm thinking too much into it but in my situation it wouldn't hurt not to. A "stalker" is my reasoning behind getting my CHL and taking self defense classes. Police won't do anything until it's physical and with this guy it's not if but when. Every incident is being called in for a trail and I'm also written down dates and times. Not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me, just looking for advice. If it helps, I don't personally know the guy. I was introduced to him through a friend's friend and he had tagged along... Hope that makes sense.

If I understand the above to indicate that this individual is following you around and giving you attention you don't want, that can lead to a potentially serious situation.

You might consider asking the folks in the introduction chain to tell him to cease and desist.

If that doesn't work you might also look into getting a restraining order.

What do you mean by introduction chain? I had a hearing for a restraining order the first week of October and it wasn't in my favor. Since then it's gotten worse so that's why I'm documenting EVERYTHING this time. It's to the point where I'm not even comfortable in my own house. I don't want to keep crashing at my parents house so I've installed a 8 camera security system with motion activated cameras that alerts me on my phone when they're activated... Haven't had anything on those yet but they've only been on for 3 days! Other than that,
I have a German Shepard who's pretty good at knowing when someone steps only property and a big brother 5 minutes away.

By "introduction chain" I was referring to the "friend of a friend" who brought you into contact with the person you're concerned about. They didn't do you any favor there, but they may have some influence with the other party that might be leveraged to deescalate the current state of affairs.

Although you haven't made clear if any direct threats have been made, it's clear that you're very concerned about this person and are taking prudent precautions to manage the situation. Situational awareness is key - early detection at a distance gives you lots of options.

Cameras and other equipment are helpful, but an adult german shepherd is a huge asset - no one who intends harm to you will approach undetected while the dog is close to you, and folks who try to take on those dogs generally do not fare well in the encounter.

The introductory chain friend isn't really a friend anymore and we've had a falling out because I came to them with this. There haven't been direct threats but he's stood outside my house in the street just staring. I'll go outside in the morning to find notes outside my house or stuff that has been messed with, left, and things like that. The screen on my window has been cut. The only things he's ever really said to me is "you're really going to like it." Other than that, it's just a lot of sitting outside my house, bombarded with prank calls, and the occasional sighting once I go out. My dog is an adult, Ace is very protective of me and isn't fond of strangers or kids. I'm exhausted with looking over my shoulder every minute of the day. If he does escalate it, I *think* I'm ready for him but there's also the feeling that after everything I may have the scary movie girl reaction which is scream, run, and get cornered. What's going on inside his mind that thinks this is okay?? Is it a mental health issue? A fetish? I just don't get it!!!

Yes, it's mental health issue and apparently a serious one. You're right to be concerned. The verbal remark you cite indicates he has thoughts of taking it to the physical level and he is fixated on you.

Not good.

If the phone he's calling is a land line, ask the phone company to place a trap on your line to document the time, date, and source of the calls and use that evidence to charge him criminally for them. Police are generally receptive to filing charges under these circumstances.

If it's a cell phone, you can get those records from the cellular provider as well. If there are a lot of calls, you may want to consider either changing your cell phone number or getting a temporary "pay as you go" phone that you use for day to day communication. If he never gets an answer on the phone, eventually he'll stop calling.

Consider having an attorney write him a "cease and desist" letter delivered by certified mail with return receipt to put him on documented legal notice. This can be used later if he continues to bother you.

You might also consider living with a relative or friend for a few weeks. I understand it would be a pain and would feel like you're letting him win, but if he doesn't get to see you come and go, the reward for spending time outside your residence diminishes rapidly and it may put an end to it.

Watch carefully for any escalation. Situations like this are not stable - they will either escalate or deescalate, and there's no way to say for sure which way yours will go.

The ideal scenario is that you remove his ability to see or contact you at will for a period of time long enough for his attention to shift elsewhere.

If he attempts to approach you outside, as soon as he takes a step toward you, putting your hands up in a "stop" gesture and loudly order him to not come any closer and to get away from you is a viable tactic. This means if he's fifty feet away, do this when he makes it to 48 feet. Make a scene that will be readily noticed by anyone nearby. If he continues to advance, it will be clear to everyone present that he is a threat. Shout loudly to bystanders that he is a stalker and to call 911 for you. You may warn him that if he continues to advance, you will treat him as an immediate threat.

Do whatever you can to keep things (cars, lamp posts, mailboxes, etc.) between you and him and to keep him from closing the distance to you. If you can't get away, you'll have to manage the situation according to what he does next.

Make sure you have a solid knowledge of the circumstances of when you can legally draw your handgun, when you can point it, and when you can fire it if needed. Make sure you also know what to do afterwards and how to work with responding police.

Pray that you never find yourself in this situation, but prepare yourself to do whatever it takes to come out of it intact if it presents itself.

Thank you for all of the good info! I really appreciate the time you took to write and detail everything. My gun will be my last resort if this does indeed escalate. I have stayed with a friend for a two weeks and everything was quiet as can be but once I came home I got a day or so of peace and well you know. For the past few months I've been getting away with working at home and only going into the office once a week but here soon I will actually have to be in everyday! Big problem for me... I can't sleep at night anymore. I do all of my work at night and keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary and sleep during the day since his preference is night time. I COULD stay with my friend but I feel like it's such a burden on their lives! I'll be honest, if he is going to escalate I want it to be in my home. As
Long as I can get to my "safe" room, I just need him to follow. I've had self defense teachers come out and inspect my house and we went through different scenarios if someone were to break in... I've got goodies stashed at every entrance buddy! I'm staying positive about this though! I contacted an attorney today and meet with them on Monday. I will keep everyone updated. This is probably going to sound dumb but does his height and weight factor into this at all? He can't weigh very much more than me at 110. He's got a couple inches on me but that's it.

I don't see height and weight as an issue here. The fact that he doesn't outweigh you by 100 pounds doesn't make him automatically not dangerous.

It appears that you have done all the reasonable things for this type of situation, and the fact that his interest hasn't waned over a period of several weeks or months is not good at all.

You might rediscuss the restraining order idea with the attorney when you meet with him. He may have influence that could help you get one approved.

If you haven't yet reinforced your doors to make them more difficult and time consuming to break into, you might want to look into that. One easy improvement is the Master door security bar that is readily available from home improvement stores in your area.

[Divided Attention]

Devil's advocate:

I RARELY purse carry, it is a last resort. I am very comfortable carrying any of my 3 options on body. However, purse carry has an advantage that on body does not. I can have my hand on my side arm in my purse holster with my purse cross body and no one is the wiser If I had my grip on my side arm on body, it would look funny and obvious.

Carry on - the side arm that is with you is much more effective than the one left at home.

[Venus Pax]

OP, I do both.
I also tend to take a risk assessment. When it is higher risk, such as the parking lots, etc, I carry on my body. About the only place I purse carry is when I'm inside the mall and intending to try on a lot of clothing. I keep it in a compartment of a backpack purse, which lets me try on clothes without it falling off my body in the dressing room, and I can keep the purse on the hook out of reach of my toddler.
(And I do not put it in the purse until I'm in a mall dressing room or restroom. I transfer it back to the hip before going to parking lot again.)
Hope this may help.

[CHLLady]

I'm so sorry to hear you are dealing with this scary situation! Here are some suggestions I thought I would do if in your shoes....

1. Read Gavin De Becker's Gift of Fear. He discusses stalkers specifically and how to manage them. An excellent and informative read. Prepare your mind!

2. Train, train, and more training with an instructor! its worth every dime! Learn your own limitations and your carry weapon's limitations and work through them. Learn the kill zones. Train to shoot 2 to the upper body, one to the head. Learn to shoot with your gun right at your waist! He might be very close and you may need to bring the gun in closer to your body. The instructor can show you how to do this safely.

3. Know your comfort zone! How close is too close? Do you need glasses? Have an extra pair in your gun safe or with your spare gun in case you can't get to them.

4. Know your home at night, walk around outside. Are there overgrown shrubs that could conceal him from the street as you drive up or allows him to hide and peep through windows? Plant some cactus at strategic points. Lol. Have flashlights at those special places you described. Make sure you have alarms on your windows. Motion sensor floodlights. I have solar powered, they're easy to install and don't require an electrician.

5. Have an emergency code word worked out with family and friends that means "Call 911! I need help!". That way if he's in your presence and you can't escape, but he allows you to answer the phone... * Find out info. on his cars and their plates, give this info to your parents and friends just in case, they can locate him or you in case of abduction.

6. Vary your routine! Shop at different grocery stores, use different routes to and from home or work.

7. Have mace with you for the times you can't conceal carry. Keep one in your car too.

And lastly, please get that gun on your person. I love wearing mine now. I have the Pistol Wear holster wrap and it has totally changed my perspective on carrying. I have SO much more confidence. It is incredible how much I've changed just from getting it out of my purse and onto my person. You will walk taller, trust me. Stay safe and keep us updated.

[Jumping Frog]

This is probably going to sound dumb but does his height and weight factor into this at all? He can't weigh very much more than me at 110. He's got a couple inches on me but that's it.

No. The laws on justified shooting do not depend upon his height and weight for any of the six enumerated crimes ("aggravated kidnapping, murder, sexual assault, aggravated sexual assault, robbery, or aggravated robbery"), forced entry into your home/vehicle/place of employment, or an attempt to remove you from any of those places. If any of those actions occur, the law will consider your use of deadly force to be "presumed reasonable".

Any attempt on his part to enter home/vehicle/place of employment is clearly justified. Given his prior comments and history, if he approaches you elsewhere and you are warning him to "STOP DO NOT COME ANY CLOSER", a continued approach or attempt to physically touch you in any way could reasonably be interpreted as an attempt at sexual assault or kidnapping.

Absent those scenarios, the remaining legal standard is that you reasonably believe the use of "deadly force" is immediately necessary to protect you from his use or attempted use of "deadly force". Note that deadly force means "capable of causing, death or serious bodily injury". Whenever an adult male is using physical force against a female, I believe most people would find it reasonable that the woman believes the man could cause death or serious bodily injury.

[Excaliber]

I'm so sorry to hear you are dealing with this scary situation! Here are some suggestions I thought I would do if in your shoes....

1. Read Gavin De Becker's Gift of Fear. He discusses stalkers specifically and how to manage them. An excellent and informative read. Prepare your mind!

2. Train, train, and more training with an instructor! its worth every dime! Learn your own limitations and your carry weapon's limitations and work through them. Learn the kill zones. Train to shoot 2 to the upper body, one to the head. Learn to shoot with your gun right at your waist! He might be very close and you may need to bring the gun in closer to your body. The instructor can show you how to do this safely.

3. Know your comfort zone! How close is too close? Do you need glasses? Have an extra pair in your gun safe or with your spare gun in case you can't get to them.

4. Know your home at night, walk around outside. Are there overgrown shrubs that could conceal him from the street as you drive up or allows him to hide and peep through windows? Plant some cactus at strategic points. Lol. Have flashlights at those special places you described. Make sure you have alarms on your windows. Motion sensor floodlights. I have solar powered, they're easy to install and don't require an electrician.

5. Have an emergency code word worked out with family and friends that means "Call 911! I need help!". That way if he's in your presence and you can't escape, but he allows you to answer the phone... * Find out info. on his cars and their plates, give this info to your parents and friends just in case, they can locate him or you in case of abduction.

6. Vary your routine! Shop at different grocery stores, use different routes to and from home or work.

7. Have mace with you for the times you can't conceal carry. Keep one in your car too.

And lastly, please get that gun on your person. I love wearing mine now. I have the Pistol Wear holster wrap and it has totally changed my perspective on carrying. I have SO much more confidence. It is incredible how much I've changed just from getting it out of my purse and onto my person. You will walk taller, trust me. Stay safe and keep us updated.

+1 on Gavin DeBecker's Gift of Fear book.

Just ignore his strong bias against guns for defense - the first chapter will give you insight into where that bias comes from, but he's flat out wrong on that point. The rest of the book is a gem.