valentines day gift

[jmra]

Before we built a healthy stock of 2A items my wife would often ask if I was "buying everything we needed". When things get back to normal price wise I'm sure that line of questioning will resume.

[EEllis]

I have no idea if this girl was a keeper and if not then no loss. I will say that I think some guys seem to have strange ideas about what being with someone should mean. It could just be the girl was feeling a bit put out because you kept talking about your recent purchase on a day so many are programed to feel is a big day, Valentines. It may very well have been the same reaction if it were any purchase you made even if it were a hobby she thought of as "normal". She may have stated it badly but then I've stepped on my tongue a few times and would hope that when I did I would be judged for more than what may have been a badly phrased excited utterance. I also think that sometimes people view things based on their own life experience. My family have never been big on gifts. Even for birthdays and Christmases people would give $50 to maybe $100 gifts at most. So if someone gave me anything them the cost wouldn't even occur to me. If however I was raised that everyone went out of their way and spent a generous sum then it might cause me to wonder if someone I was in a relationship with didn't seem to care about putting any time or money into my gift. After you know someone longer then these questions get answered but early in relationships people not knowing causes a lot of extra stress.

[tacticool]

It's interesting hearing how several married couples manage their budgets. However, as far as I know, income earned by a boyfriend or girlfriend is not community property in Texas. So, unlike a spouse, the girl in the story had no legitimate claim on his income or say in how he spent it.

If a nice dinner on his dime was not sufficient, perhaps she should negotiate the fee in advance of her "dates" in the future.

valentines day 2012 rolled around

Did something happen recently to remind you of this story from last year?

[DLBConductor]

EMarquez: My wife and I have a similar approach to finances. We will celebrate our 48th anniversary in August and the system has worked well for us over the years.

We have checkbooks that are her's, mine, and ours. We both have access to all accounts. The "Ours" account is for daily living expenses. The "Her's" and "Mine" are for individual discretionary spending. We would never think of questioning how the other spends their discretionary money.

For new husbands: I think it is very important that wives have access to money that is "their" money. It is demeaning for a wife to have to "beg" for discretionary money from her husband. Even if it is a small amount, some discretionary spending money should be budgeted for both the husband and the wife. When we both worked, my salary money went into the "Ours" account and her salary money went into the "Hers" account. I did frequent outside jobs and those extra funds went into the "Mine" account.

To the Op:
For a marriage to work, each partner must care more for the welfare of the partner than they do for themselves. In this particular situation, I think you wisely dodged a bullet.

[bauer]

We typically discuss purchases over $100 except groceries.

My wife and I have the system in place. After all the bills get paid and money is budgeted for gas, food, tolls, etc what ever is left over is disposable. She gets her fair share of new clothes and items for the baby and I steadily add to either my tools (I have recently fallen in love with Harbor Freight) or my guns.

To the OP, the last thing I would have done was discuss the price of the revolver with her, kinda funny how she was so apologetic after seeing the bracelet. Oh well, in the end it sounds like you dodged one here.

[Syntyr]

and I steadily add to either my tools (I have recently fallen in love with Harbor Freight) or my guns.

pardon the brief thread hijack...

Bauer have you picked up a couple of these work benches? $159 on sale and worth every penny!

http://www.harborfreight.com/workbench- ... 69054.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;



They are awesome especially when you get them on sale at HB!!

[bauer]

and I steadily add to either my tools (I have recently fallen in love with Harbor Freight) or my guns.

Bauer have you picked up a couple of these work benches? $159 on sale and worth every penny!

http://www.harborfreight.com/workbench- ... 69054.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

They are awesome especially when you get them on sale at HF!!

Not yet, I wasn't aware they had them as I've never seen em in store.

Just added to my list!

[snorri]

To the OP, the last thing I would have done was discuss the price of the revolver with her, kinda funny how she was so apologetic after seeing the bracelet. Oh well, in the end it sounds like you dodged one here.

Did she discuss the price of her shoes and handbags with him?

They weren't married or even engaged, and it sounds like he wasn't the father of any of her children, so I'll side with the people that say her reaction to how he spends his money was a great reason to break it off. My belief is even stronger after reading how quickly she changed her tune after finding about the expensive bracelet. Assuming it's a true story.

[drjoker]

I can tell you from experience (ask any guy married for more than 2 years if you don't believe me) that whatever problems you have dating will be multiplied 10x after you get married. Just like how women use makeup to try to make a guy believe she looks better than she really does, women also put on an "psychological and emotional" makeup when you are dating. They don't let you know about their psychotic behaviors and emotional problems, well, not all of them anyways.

Caveat emptor.

[jmra]

I can tell you from experience (ask any guy married for more than 2 years if you don't believe me) that whatever problems you have dating will be multiplied 10x after you get married. Just like how women use makeup to try to make a guy believe she looks better than she really does, women also put on an "psychological and emotional" makeup when you are dating. They don't let you know about their psychotic behaviors and emotional problems, well, not all of them anyways.

Caveat emptor.

I knew all about mrsjmra's "psychological and emotional makeup" before we got married. She wasn't the girl next door, but you could she her driveway from our driveway. Married her anyway - that was 23 years ago.

[nightmare69]

What I have learned from the elders in this thread.

-Acquire guns.
-Stay single.
-?????
-Profit.

[brhalltx]

What I have learned from the elders in this thread.

-Acquire guns.
-Stay single.
-?????
-Profit.

You left out "buy workbenches."

[bizarrenormality]

What I have learned from the elders in this thread.

-Acquire guns.
-Stay single.
-?????
-Profit.

You left out "buy workbenches."

[bauer]

What I have learned from the elders in this thread.

-Acquire guns.
-Stay single.
-?????
-Profit.

You left out "buy workbenches."

I see what you did there!

[Syntyr]

What I have learned from the elders in this thread.

-Acquire guns.
-Stay single.
-?????
-Profit.

You left out "buy workbenches."

HEY!!! You calling me old pardner?!?!?! Just because I hijack a thread about valentines day gifts and turn it in to buying workbenches!

Opps guess there I go again...