Baby Pooped on me...

[Oldgringo]

Gross OUT! My, how we have advanced. My parents had our baby shoes bronzed back in the day.

Now, y'all are saving the by-products of life? How quaint.

[Texas Dan Mosby]

Babies, like firearms, must be handled with safety in mind. However, unlike firearms, they can never be truly "unloaded", and, when you least expect it, are capable of violently discharging their contents from BOTH ends .
Be careful out there.

So what you're saying is a baby is always loaded and don't point it at anything you want to keep clean?

Absolutely.

ALWAYS keep the baby pointed in a safe direction, and treat the baby as if it is loaded at all times....because it IS!

Be careful not to jostle, tickle, or rapidly move the baby, as they have no safety, and this can lead to unintended discharges.

Make sure you use the right load for your baby, as some loads can develop unsafe pressures resulting in extremely powerful discharges, or can lead to the dreaded multi-discharge, as opposed to the single shot discharge. Chilli is not an appropriate load for your baby.

Never point a baby at anyone, unless you are willing to use it. Laundry fee's are no joke, so it's best to avoid the situation from the get go. Should you find yourself needing to contact a dry cleaner, it is best to find one with experience dealing with this issue as opposed to the first dry cleaner you see.

Good luck!

[The Annoyed Man]

Babies, like firearms, must be handled with safety in mind. However, unlike firearms, they can never be truly "unloaded", and, when you least expect it, are capable of violently discharging their contents from BOTH ends .
Be careful out there.

So what you're saying is a baby is always loaded and don't point it at anything you want to keep clean?

Absolutely.

ALWAYS keep the baby pointed in a safe direction, and treat the baby as if it is loaded at all times....because it IS!

Be careful not to jostle, tickle, or rapidly move the baby, as they have no safety, and this can lead to unintended discharges.

Make sure you use the right load for your baby, as some loads can develop unsafe pressures resulting in extremely powerful discharges, or can lead to the dreaded multi-discharge, as opposed to the single shot discharge. Chilli is not an appropriate load for your baby.

Never point a baby at anyone, unless you are willing to use it. Laundry fee's are no joke, so it's best to avoid the situation from the get go. Should you find yourself needing to contact a dry cleaner, it is best to find one with experience dealing with this issue as opposed to the first dry cleaner you see.

Good luck!

And ALWAYS keep your booger hoog off the bang switch (belly button)!

[SewTexas]

Babies, like firearms, must be handled with safety in mind. However, unlike firearms, they can never be truly "unloaded", and, when you least expect it, are capable of violently discharging their contents from BOTH ends .
Be careful out there.

So what you're saying is a baby is always loaded and don't point it at anything you want to keep clean?

Absolutely.

ALWAYS keep the baby pointed in a safe direction, and treat the baby as if it is loaded at all times....because it IS!

Be careful not to jostle, tickle, or rapidly move the baby, as they have no safety, and this can lead to unintended discharges.

Make sure you use the right load for your baby, as some loads can develop unsafe pressures resulting in extremely powerful discharges, or can lead to the dreaded multi-discharge, as opposed to the single shot discharge. Chilli is not an appropriate load for your baby.

Never point a baby at anyone, unless you are willing to use it. Laundry fee's are no joke, so it's best to avoid the situation from the get go. Should you find yourself needing to contact a dry cleaner, it is best to find one with experience dealing with this issue as opposed to the first dry cleaner you see.

Good luck!

Oh my!!!! that's great, problem is I've got a cough that won't quit and I just about lost my breath as I read that...but, thanks for the laugh, we needed it.

[TexasGal]

Oh heavens, I need air! Thanks so much for taking me back to the best years of my life.

My son had a knack of filling his diaper with the most incredible nuclear waste and then when you attempted to pick him up, he would raise his legs up high and spill the contents out from both sides. One Saturday morning the pastor and his wife were visiting us in our home for the first time. I was so nervous trying to make a good impression. My son was toddling across the floor right in front of them and stopped as if on cue. With horror, we all heard an alarming sound accompanied with an eye watering aroma. I quickly snatched him up. He performed the famous unloading maneuver. It was a long 10 feet to the bedroom as fast as I could take him. After a quick bath in the tub, I re-dressed him and came back out to find them gone. I was told there was a moment of complete silence after I whisked him away and then the pastor abruptly stood up and said, "Well!....Time to go!" and left. My son is 26 years old now and I do miss those days.

[Oldgringo]

This thread takes me back:

One upon a time in a land faraway, we had a neutered white, longhaired cat who would wait for company to arrive, usually LCA church company. Once everyone was seated, MEW would then parade through the room to , "...oohs and ahs, about how pretty he is, etc.". When MEW had heard enough, he would sit in the middle of the group, lift his leg and proceed to clean himself.

MEW, although a house cat, was later diagnosed to have feline leukemia and had to go to the 'Rainbow Bridge' for cats. I still think of MEW and miss him. Like I said that was long ago in a land faraway.

[mossytxn]

It gets better. Last night my just barely two year old dropped a tennis ball sized load in the tub. i had just turned around to grab a washcloth and he looks up and says "Daddy poopoo" and points. Yes son, yes it is. Now we need another bath. And some clorox wipes.

[SewTexas]

It gets better. Last night my just barely two year old dropped a tennis ball sized load in the tub. i had just turned around to grab a washcloth and he looks up and says "Daddy poopoo" and points. Yes son, yes it is. Now we need another bath. And some clorox wipes.

and now he knows what it is and how to say it....it's time to work on where to ummm, put it, so to speak. (I'm so glad mine are teenagers)

[OldCurlyWolf]

It gets better. Last night my just barely two year old dropped a tennis ball sized load in the tub. i had just turned around to grab a washcloth and he looks up and says "Daddy poopoo" and points. Yes son, yes it is. Now we need another bath. And some clorox wipes.

and now he knows what it is and how to say it....it's time to work on where to ummm, put it, so to speak. (I'm so glad mine are teenagers)

My youngest is 32 and her youngest is 6 months.

[stevie_d_64]

There is always something funny about a "diaper containment" failure to those of us who have experienced it ourselves and they always make for good stories.

I heard NASA created a solution for leakage, and have failed to effectively spin off that echnology to the public...

Sure Velcro and Tang were easy...Diaper containment technology is one of America's best kept secrets...

Although, the Chinese may have hack it and stole it right from under our noses, pardon the pun...

[anygunanywhere]

Our oldest had one while we were crossing the Atchafalaya basin bridge in Louisiana.

Bridge went on forever that day.

Had all the windows down.

Anygunanywhere

[bauer]

(I'm so glad mine are teenagers)

They must be boys? Ill take baby poop over a 14 yo raging, hormone induced, teenage fits. It gets adventurous at times.

[Gungirl]

The teenager thing is getting old....on my third one! I would much rather be pooped on!!

[RottenApple]

The teenager thing is getting old....on my third one! I would much rather be pooped on!!

It's doubtful my 13 and 15 year olds will see 14 and 16. And it's less than a month away for both of them!

[lightbulb1988]

Great story, started my day with a good laugh.