Talked to someone that could really benefit from a CHL

[Justice]

I recently got all the paperwork in for my CHL. The class was great, and it was worth the money just for the information provided. Now I am waiting to get the money together to send it in. I could pull it from savings, but that just isn't my style.

Anyway, on to the encounter. A woman that works in the same building was talking to someone about a stalker. I overheard, and when I saw her a few days later I talked to her about it. She then revealed to me that it was something that has been going on for 5 years. It stopped when she moved, but then started up again. She said that the stalker left stuff on her porch, and when she put it on the ground with a note to please stop the stalker put it back up and attached a note that was less than friendly.

At this point I told her that I didn't know what she thought of firearms. She replied that they didn't scare her, save for the fact of accidents. I replied that accidents do happen, but a well trained person should never have a ND when the pistol is not pointing in a safe direction. I told her to always remember that unless you are ready to pull the trigger, the finger should be on the body of the weapon. Hollywood always screws that up. I urged her to find a local range / gun store that has an introductory to shooting, and looking into getting a concealed handgun license. I also told her that based on what she told me that stalker might transition into the next level and do something. And if she had a CHL she would be able to protect herself against an assault if it would come to that. She didn't even know who it was, which makes it extra scary. The police is aware, and they told her that stalkers usually want to gauge peoples reaction when they leave stuff. The fact that this one acted aggressively (via note for now) did not sit well with them, or her.

I hope she takes heed to my advice. I'd hate for her to turn into a victim. I told her people generally don't expect women to have the means to defend themselves.

[knotquiteawake]

Does she have Netflix? There is a series called "Stalked" about victims of stalking. Real life stories. 1/2 of those stories are told by friends and family because the victim was no longer around to tell their own story. If she watched it it might push her over the edge and into gun buying mode.

[RSJ]

A gun will only stop him in a do-or-die situation. I would advise her to seek an attorney and possibly a protective order. They don't always hold up, but getting things documented can do wonders for future events.

[Topbuilder]

Gun first. Protective order second. Only one really has the ability to stop him.

[RSJ]

Gun first. Protective order second. Only one really has the ability to stop him.

I agree with that order of events, provided she is properly instructed/trained on the safety and use of the firearm!

[chasfm11]

Gun first. Protective order second. Only one really has the ability to stop him.

I agree with that order of events, provided she is properly instructed/trained on the safety and use of the firearm!

Suggest that she read "A Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. It has a whole chapter about effective protective orders are. They work as well as gun buster signs at keeping BGs from robbing convenience stores.

[RSJ]

Gun first. Protective order second. Only one really has the ability to stop him.

I agree with that order of events, provided she is properly instructed/trained on the safety and use of the firearm!

Suggest that she read "A Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. It has a whole chapter about effective protective orders are. They work as well as gun buster signs at keeping BGs from robbing convenience stores.

I don't disagree. But a TRO/EPO is pretty easy to get, especially if she has "any" evidence to offer (pictures, written note). More importantly, it will serve as a record of the "issues" facing her.

[Jim88]

It sounds like some of you guys missed it but the OP said that his friend has no idea who the stalker is. A restraining order doesn't do much good if you don't know who you're dealing with.

[chasfm11]

It sounds like some of you guys missed it but the OP said that his friend has no idea who the stalker is. A restraining order doesn't do much good if you don't know who you're dealing with.

My point was that even if the person is identified, the likelihood that the PO/RO is going to stop the activity or protect the woman is pretty slim. She should be taking steps like a video camera or something to at least capture a face or a body description.

IIRC, de Becker believes that PO should be eliminated because they can give a woman a false sense of security. In stead of doing the things necessary to actually protect their safety, woman are talked into PO/RO and lead to believe it is a solution to their problem, sometimes by LE.

[AustinBoy]

Just have her watch this video:

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[Topbuilder]

IANAL, but I would tell you freind to carry BEFORE getting the CHL after that recording.

[Jim Beaux]

My advice is to get some range lessons, a CHL, and buy a security camera. These stalking creeps really set me off.

[RoyGBiv]

1.Get a dog, if possible. A territorial male. Even a small yappy dog makes a good alarm.
2. OC (Pepper) spray. Something she can hold in hand. Keychain version, plus bigger purse version.
3. Home defense Shotgun, lessons and range time.
4. Handgun, lessons and range time. She can carry in her home, from her house to her car and in her car and in her employers parking lot (generally) TODAY.
5. CHL

[Rex B]

1.Get a dog, if possible. A territorial male. Even a small yappy dog makes a good alarm.
2. OC (Pepper) spray. Something she can hold in hand. Keychain version, plus bigger purse version.
3. Home defense Shotgun, lessons and range time.
4. Handgun, lessons and range time. She can carry in her home, from her house to her car and in her car and in her employers parking lot (generally) TODAY.
5. CHL

As to the Restraining Order, while it is no magic bubble shield, it will produce an official record that someone fears for their life. If it comes down to a shooting, I would want that record to point to. However, I don't know if you can get one against an unknown person. I suspect not.

[CC Italian]

That is extremely creepy! I assume this women is single from what you said? I would forward the advice given here!

The sad thing is a lot of people won't take that next step in protecting themselves. My fiancee was the same way for years until a teenage girl was sexually assaulted only a few blocks away from us. Now she carries while in the house at all times and wants to get her chl when I renew in a few months. There are some real sickos out there and you are your first line of protection not 911. When will people ever understand that!

edit: Even if she found out who it was I would buy a firearm and train with it first. If you need a restraining order then it is serious! Also, usually when these stalkers find out they have a restraining order against them it just infuriates them and makes them more obsessive because now they know they have your attention. I just hope this lady takes it seriously and doesn't become a statistic!