Its not worth it.....

[ls6tt]

Less than an hour ago I was in a situation where I thought I would have to take someones life. And let me tell you these people need to learn when its just not worth it.

For any of you that travel West bound on 820 you know of the merge of the right lane before the first exit after 183. For the last 6 or 7 years when I take this everyday people stack up, one goes from the right, then one goes from the next. You occasionally get the guys that don't want to let anybody over, so you just slow your vehicle down, let them go and get in behind them, no big deal.

Today was different. Red Toyota Tacoma, who I could only assume was either roid raging or having a bad day, decided not only was he not going to let me in, but he was going to make sure I knew how mad he was. No big deal, i don't jokey for a spot, I don't want to wreck my vehicle. My windows are down, he rolls his passenger side down and starts to let me have it, I am on the phone and i learned, a witness is great no matter what, i don't know this yahoo. So I just smile and tell him, "go its no big deal" he lays more expletives and goes on and then mashes his brakes as hard as he could, I yell, "Go dummy" and then give him a WIDE gap of two cars.

We exit right in front of the NRH police station and I notice he gets over to the right lane and stops his vehicle, im starting to think avenues to bail, the cars don't yield so I couldn't yank into the police station, i was stuck, and blocked in.

So all of my conflict resolution comes into play, I DONT want to get into an altercation. He is running his mouth, so I will be the bigger man and I apologize, I even point out the police station to discourage an altercation, I tell him its no big deal its a spot in traffic, he continues to yap yap yap, telling me he is going to beat me up, so i just roll up my passenger window. And thats when he decides he wants to attempt to get out of his vehicle...

Now, im sure we all have since the day we got our license practiced, and during the course of that practice you wonder how fast you can get to your gun. Are you even going to get to your gun in a time when you think you need it. I am very proud to say that I was able to yank my seat belt off, lift my shirt and get my hand on my gun faster than he could get his seat belt off and get out of his truck. I am not sure if he saw my go for my hip or realized that I wasnt scared of him, but he burned off. (side note...practice practice practice)

So now I am left with the what ifs....

What if he got out, would I have drawn on him? Was it the fact that I saw his seat belt was on and that's why I didn't unholster but was ready? What if he would have gotten out and im stuck in traffic and I have no choice but to possibly take this mans life? (disclaimer, the scenario that brings me to actually using deadly force was him breaching my vehicle and leaving me absolutely no choice whatsoever.) Was it a good shoot? Did I do everything leading up to that to attempt to get myself out of the situation or is the Grand Jury going to say that I could have stopped on the side of the highway and waited for a while, etc etc etc etc. My mind is racing.

At the end of the day, this man could have potentially lost his life due to a spot in traffic. A human could have died for something so petty.

[Llanero]

Wow, two things I think you should have done differently

1. Actually apologize, say "I'm sorry". That might be more effective than just saying "it's no big deal".
2. Don't call him a dummy, that is an escalation.

I am glad everything worked out for you.

[ls6tt]

Wow, two things I think you should have done differently

1. Actually apologize, say "I'm sorry". That might be more effective than just saying "it's no big deal".
2. Don't call him a dummy, that is an escalation.

I am glad everything worked out for you.

I did actually apologize. I said flat out "I understand and Im sorry" then followed it up with the its no big deal, just go on.

the second i agree with, it was reaction to him mashing his brakes in front of me. Im kind of shocked he was able to hear it, but I agree, that is the one part in the entire episode that I did wrong.

[RoyGBiv]

So.... What did you do to set him off in the first place?
Just trying to merge? Why'd he pick you?

Inquiring minds

[pcgizzmo]

Glad it worked out for you. One thing I've seen lately in a few posts is people grabbing their gun in a road rage type incident. While every incident is different unless someone comes at you with a knife, tire iron or gun I don't know that if you pulled on them it would be justified.

Were you just getting your gun ready in case that was the case or would you have pulled if he had continued to get out? Just curious.

[McKnife]

I can't accurately tell you because I wasn't there, but I would go out of my way to ignore him. Pretend he isn't there.

[mreavis]

What I would do:

Lock doors, roll up windows with just a crack so you can make that apology. If he presents a weapon or breaks the window I will draw on him. I don't see any reason to get out of the car with him. If hes looking for a fist fight you don't want anything to do with it while you are armed with a gun, even if its self defense. Use the vehicles extended rights and structural protection to your advantage.

[ls6tt]

So.... What did you do to set him off in the first place?
Just trying to merge? Why'd he pick you?

Inquiring minds

I posted the absolute 100% truth in my actions above. I am not trying to sway people to my side by any means, simply stating what happened. There was no previous incident, there was no me seeing him not letting me over and me trying to go anyway, nothing, i realized when he inched up on the vehicle in front of him that he was not going to let me over, so i slowed down more (top speed was roughly 15-20mph, when i say slowed down it was to 5ish mph).

Glad it worked out for you. One thing I've seen lately in a few posts is people grabbing their gun in a road rage type incident. While every incident is different unless someone comes at you with a knife, tire iron or gun I don't know that if you pulled on them it would be justified.

Were you just getting your gun ready in case that was the case or would you have pulled if he had continued to get out? Just curious.

There were several reasons I went straight it, first and MAIN reason, I couldnt see his hands, I had no idea what he was going to come out of the vehicle with and I wanted/needed to be ready for the worse. second thing being he was easily 100 pounds bigger than me, the dude was ripped. I can hold my own, but at the end of the day its not about being tough its about going home to see my kid. The furiousness of his aggression was another reason. I guess he was angry cause he didnt scare me? Lastly To your question, thats a what if and I wish I could answer it. Would I have stayed holstered and hoped the light went green, dunno.

I can't accurately tell you because I wasn't there, but I would go out of my way to ignore him. Pretend he isn't there.

I think he got even more furious when I rolled my window up after i realized me apologizing wasnt doing anything. But that was my intention, remove his attention and just carry on.

[ls6tt]

What I would do:

Lock doors, roll up windows with just a crack so you can make that apology. If he presents a weapon or breaks the window I will draw on him. I don't see any reason to get out of the car with him. If hes looking for a fist fight you don't want anything to do with it while you are armed with a gun, even if its self defense. Use the vehicles extended rights and structural protection to your advantage.

Thanks mreavis, I had ZERO intention of leaving my vehicle, I knew the moment I did I was a mutual combatant and if things went real south I wouldn't stand a chance at the grand jury. And I agree, heck no am I going to get into a fist fight with a gun on my hip, honestly, im almost 30 years old, grown men shouldnt be getting into a fist fight anyhow.

[mreavis]

What I would do:

Lock doors, roll up windows with just a crack so you can make that apology. If he presents a weapon or breaks the window I will draw on him. I don't see any reason to get out of the car with him. If hes looking for a fist fight you don't want anything to do with it while you are armed with a gun, even if its self defense. Use the vehicles extended rights and structural protection to your advantage.

Thanks mreavis, I had ZERO intention of leaving my vehicle, I knew the moment I did I was a mutual combatant and if things went real south I wouldn't stand a chance at the grand jury. And I agree, heck no am I going to get into a fist fight with a gun on my hip, honestly, im almost 30 years old, grown men shouldnt be getting into a fist fight anyhow.

Good deal, I figured you were about on the same page. Glad nothing went south for you. Have a good night :)

[RoyGBiv]

So.... What did you do to set him off in the first place?
Just trying to merge? Why'd he pick you?

Inquiring minds

I posted the absolute 100% truth in my actions above. I am not trying to sway people to my side by any means, simply stating what happened. There was no previous incident, there was no me seeing him not letting me over and me trying to go anyway, nothing, i realized when he inched up on the vehicle in front of him that he was not going to let me over, so i slowed down more (top speed was roughly 15-20mph, when i say slowed down it was to 5ish mph).

Sorry if my question came across at all like I was accusing you of keeping something hidden... NOT what I intended to say. I was picturing you on your merry way, ready to take your turn at the merge and.......

--- You made eye contact to confirm that he saw you and was going to let you in, but instead he.... blah.. blah..

Just wondering if something (maybe not something you can point to, but a "moment") set him off when your paths crossed, or was he already raging before the merge?

Just curious.. Apologies again for the earlier miscommunication..

[ls6tt]

So.... What did you do to set him off in the first place?
Just trying to merge? Why'd he pick you?

Inquiring minds

I posted the absolute 100% truth in my actions above. I am not trying to sway people to my side by any means, simply stating what happened. There was no previous incident, there was no me seeing him not letting me over and me trying to go anyway, nothing, i realized when he inched up on the vehicle in front of him that he was not going to let me over, so i slowed down more (top speed was roughly 15-20mph, when i say slowed down it was to 5ish mph).

Sorry if my question came across at all like I was accusing you of keeping something hidden... NOT what I intended to say. I was picturing you on your merry way, ready to take your turn at the merge and.......

--- You made eye contact to confirm that he saw you and was going to let you in, but instead he.... blah.. blah..

Just wondering if something (maybe not something you can point to, but a "moment") set him off when your paths crossed, or was he already raging before the merge?

Just curious.. Apologies again for the earlier miscommunication..

Didnt bother me at all and I appreciate the apology. Honestly, I wish I knew, if I did I would know what not to do if this ever happens again.

[pcgizzmo]

You know, you probably didn't do anything. I find myself getting angry behind drivers some times. I won't say I have road rage but I grow impatient. Since getting my CHL I have tried to curb this.

This was before I had my CHL and didn't know anything about de-escalation.

[MasterOfNone]

So I was driving my red Tacoma on I820 West, and this guy wanted to merge in front of me. So I sped up and kept him out of my way. He told me I'm "da best." I told him his car was awesome. I stopped to get out and thank him, but he grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack, so I got out of there.
J/k

[ls6tt]

So I was driving my red Tacoma on I820 West, and this guy wanted to merge in front of me. So I sped up and kept him out of my way. He told me I'm "da best." I told him his car was awesome. I stopped to get out and thank him, but he grabbed his chest like he was having a heart attack, so I got out of there.
J/k

HAHAHAHAHA