Riders: Talked out of buying my first bike.

[Beiruty]

I was interested in buying a Can-Am Spyder. However, my wife was against the idea since her Dad died in a motorcycle accident when she was 9 yrs old.

And as a matter of fact, I witnessed one of many motorcycle accidents where the rider did not have a chance against 2-tons of steel hurling at HW speed.

Now, in life we take risks and we live with our decision. However, I feel that most riders are safe riders and most of the time a distracted car driver, a sleepy car driver, or even a drunk car driver knock off a rider dead.

Is my concern justified? Is my wife correct, that riding a motorcycle is putting your self at elevated risk of being injured or killed?

To add a bit, my wife is really really worried if I would use my Spyder to commute to work (30 miles each way on the famous HW-75).

[PBratton]

Absolutely! Riding a motorcycle among traffic is dangerous. Crossing the street is dangerous.

I've riden bikes since I was a teenager, the only time I've been hurt is when I was riding in the dirt. Never had a street accident, but I am terribly cautious when riding on the street. I know that no-one sees me and that I have to look out for myself and ALWAYS have an exit pathway ready.

That all said, I'd be sensitive to the wifey's concern that you'll die while on the bike. I've sure it was a tramatic period in her life.

[E.Marquez]

Are you justified in your decision? Thats your call.
Me, My wife? My son? Welllll. we make a different call.

Experience, in riding skills and and skills while riding on the street account for many accident avoidance events in my experience (29 years on a bike). Just this past sat, I watched a car almost take out my wife as we exited a parking lot.. her skills while riding on the street, allowed her to see the cage, move three lanes to the right, from freeway offramp to the side road in the space of 3 car lengths, without a signal or care in the world, forcing my wife to hit the edge of the road way or be run over by the cage that was forcing it's way from behind in the lane, and then forward into the space she already occupied.

For the other times? Stuff happens, I have lived though many deployments and training missions, jumped out of airplanes, raced on road tracks and off road,, bikes, jeeps, bicycles... etc etc etc.. ain't dead yet... I'll keep riding and think I'm making the right choice for me and my situation...

Best of luck in your decision, it's personal, and likey something no one can help with... After your decision, if you choose to ride... There is lots of help..just ask

[dalto]

I have lost two friends to motorcycle accidents in the last two years. In both cases, there was little to nothing they could have done to avoid the situations.

It IS dangerous. That being said, only you can decide where you prioritize that in your life.

[fecnik]

Now, in life we take risks and we live with our decision. However, I feel that most riders are safe riders and most of the time a distracted car driver, a sleepy car driver, or even a drunk car driver knock off a rider dead.

I agree, Its the cagers (persons that travel in a cage on top of four wheels) are about 70% of the reason motorcycles get into accidents. They dont see us, too busy worrying about what their face looks like in the mirror, to hungry to pay attention to the road, or whatever may be the task. Whilst commuting to work Ive witnessed a driver reading the bible in the lane next to me . But, there are riders that speed excessively, weave through traffic, ect that also contribute to fatalities

Is my concern justified? Is my wife correct, that riding a motorcycle is putting your self at elevated risk of being injured or killed?

Riding a bike does put you at an elevated risk, but so does drinking city water and breathing Houston air. All a rider can do is be more alert and watch other drivers. Most of the time, they are predicable...its the times that they arent that scares me.

I'm not married, so I don't know how the married thing works. If it were me, Id get one..you only live once. Plus, there's no other feeling in the world than what you get on a bike.

[Hoi Polloi]

I think the fact that your wife's father died in a motorcycle accident when she was young enough to be scarred greatly and old enough to remember vividly means this is not only a logical issue of facts, but a core emotional issue about her need for security and her fear of losing you in the same way. While you might justifiably need transportation, specifically having a motorcycle seems from what you posted to be an emotional want in the category of recreation. (A perfectly reasonable desire when all other things are equal, I will add.) This could be something your wife might be able to talk her way through with some exposure and knowledge (if she fears motorcycles as a lingering effect) or it might be an overwhelming topic which could take her a lifetime to work through (if it is symbolic of a great insecurity and fear over losing another man she loves). If this does rise to the level of causing her so much emotional trauma that she's telling you it will negatively impact your marriage then I think her emotional needs override your emotional wants and you need to forget about the motorcycle and focus on her core fear.

You presumably knew when you married her that your wife's father died tragically from a motorcycle accident when she was young and your wife presumably did not have reason to believe that motorcycle riding would be an important issue to you, which means erring on the side of established norms in your relationship would be reasonable. That isn't to say you should just ditch the motorcycle idea. I just think it should be put into perspective and how problematic this is for your wife in particular should be respected. If you can talk about it or be around motorcycles then she might acclimate over time. If she can't even handle that, then I think out of love and concern for her you should probably look at sports cars or something because she's going to need a long time to heal.

[jimlongley]

My late wife's fiancee, before she met me, killed himself with a motorcycle. I was on the rescue squad that salvaged the remains, there was nothing worth donating - 125+ mph into the side of a house does that. The only issue she ever threatened to divorce me over was when I decided that I wanted one, and that was the end of that.

[gigag04]

Have you taken the rider's safety course?

If not, I would. Maybe sign your wife up to. It is required to get a class M license in Texas. It's also good training, and builds a good foundation for safe aware riding. They have more advanced classes that are available too.

More training on riding makes you safer, and more agile to get out of sticky situations.




If you already trained up, disregard this post.

[RPBrown]

I have been riding for over 40 years, been down twice and I tboned a car that turned in front of me. Not seriously hurt in any of them. They say there are 2 types of riders, those that have been down and those that will go down. I added one to it in there are those that have been down and will go down again. With that said I still ride and so does my wife even though we both know people that have lost their life on bikes. I have 5 kids, 3 of which ride and 2 of my grandkids ride with me or their dad as much as possible.

I agree with Hoi Polloi in that you both knew or should have known about the others concerns or wishes. This is something that you both will need to decide. With the Spyder, it is a safer ride than a standard bike with its 3 wheels in most cases (similar to being in a convertable cager) but you still are in the open with nothing around you for protection.

I look at it as if the good Lord wants to take me, he will take me no matter what I am doing at the time.

Now, a few notes for if you decide to get one:
1) Take the MSF course. As a favor to my wife, I took it with her and actually learned some things I never knew and remembered some things I had forgotten. We have since both gone back and taken the advanced course. Have your wife take it with you. It may ease some fears.

2) Wear your helment and safety gear ALWAYS. This is a must.

3) Be ever so vigilant of others around you. I would recommend no group rides untill you get some experience under your belt (Large group rides can be dangerous for experienced riders)

4) The spider is a 3 wheeler that in most cases is a lot safer than 2 wheels. However, a freind of mine has one and it is scary fast so know your limitations.

5) and finally but most important of all, never go faster than your guardian angel can fly.

[gigag04]

never go faster than your guardian angel can fly.

Thank you for my current facebook status.

[terryg]

Boy, tough decision. One I have considered many times. My oldest daughter will be driving next year. I considered (again) getting a m-cycle to free up one of our vehicles for her some. They are much less expensive than a third vehicle - but mostly to give me an excuse to get one.

Then, a few weeks ago, the sole proprietor of a furniture company that we do business with was killed when, with terrible irony, a furniture truck turned in front of him. This guy was the king of safety and one of the nicest guys you could ever meet.

So I don't know. I would still love to have one. But maybe I'll wait until my kids are moved away.

[pcernuch]

i rode streetbikes around d/fw for years. ive been ran off the road, had a lady back over me in a parking lot, people change lanes into me. i loved my bikes, but when i got the news we were having a child i got rid of them all and never looked back. on the plus side no bikes enabled me to get back into the mustang hobby. i got a vert, for the wind in my face feeling of a bike, but a bit safer since it weights 3k lbs. :)

god bless.

[Rex B]

I've had dirt bikes years ago, but never a street bike. Those Can Am Spyders sure do tempt me though.

My wife has been making noises about buying a big bike. She has no experience with them save scooters in her childhood. I am not comofrtable with her level of situational awareness, which I think is key. When I'm driving I am very aware of everything around me 360 degrees. I drive far ahead of my position. I don't see her doing either. She tends to get in the correct lane at the last possible minute, as in "Oh yeah, I need to get off here". Now, she's not had an at-fault accident ever that I know of, but I sure would be worried about her on a motorcycle.
I think the first year of ownership/riding would be the most dangerous, as you reprogram your senses and develop that situational awareness.

[bigred90gt]

I've been wanting a motorcycle for many years. When I started dating my wife 10 years ago, one of her best friends was killed in a motorcycle accident. He was an Olympic weight lifter, and while living in Colorado at the Olympic training facility, he and his girlfriend had been out drinking, and hopped on the bike for the ride back. They failed to negotiate the curve in the road, at an estimated speed of over 100mph, and were both thrown from the bike. He went through a fence, and ended up in a school yard. He died at the hospital from his injuries. Since then, she has been opposed to me owning a motorcycle. I even went as far as applying for, and being approved, credit at a motorcycle dealership before we were married (we had been together for about 4 years at that point). When I called her, she begged me not to buy it, and I didnt. One day, I will probably get one, but for now, as I have for the last 10 years, I reckon I'll do without.