Fiance doesn't think she needs a gun

[74novaman]

Before I begin, this lady has made a ton of progress. I took her from California born, Colorado raised "guns are scary" to understanding why I carry and respecting that decision (even agreeing with me money should be in the budget for monthly range time).

She understands the need for self defense (we even took some krav maga classes together) but the one time we went to the range, she cried when she tried to shoot. (my fault, we should have started with a .22 rifle instead of a 9mm pistol) She basically decided that I would be carrying, so why does she need a gun?

This morning, the office she works in was broken into around 6am. She is usually the first one there at 7am and works for 30-45 minutes before anyone else comes in. It looks like an inside job because he knew which doors had alarms and avoided them. Though she was there after he left and was not hurt at all, this is not a situation that makes me happy.

I told her we were lucky he picked 6am when he knew no one was there than 7 am where he could have caught her alone. Now question time:

1) Shes small. 5 feet tall, right weight for her height. I know people say anything less than .38 is no good for self defense, but at this point I feel the rules for a gunfight apply more..specifically rule #1: have a gun. Would you feel comfortable sending your loved one out with a mouse gun if that was the only thing she'd carry?

2) If we do go with a mouse gun, recommendations for calibers/models?

3)If no gun will work, any other suggestions? I've thought of maybe a CO2 powered pellet or bb gun? they hurt like heck, better than nothing perhaps?

Any suggestions on how to handle the situation to make her safe besides "tell her to man up and learn to shoot a .45" is appreciated.

Thanks.

[Crossfire]

Send her to a GOOD basic pistol instructor and let her get familiar with several different types of guns. She needs to learn from someone that is NOT you.

Then, without trying to persuade her to get what you think is best for her, let her pick out her own gun. Any gun is better than no gun.

[Oldgringo]

Short of carrying some sort of bazooka, how about a little pepper spray gizmo in her purse and/or on her key ring?

[Drewthetexan]

Mouse gun is better than no gun, especially if she is comfortable with it and can shoot it accurately, I'd think. Assuming you get her to carry something, you can probably step her up on caliber as she gets better at it. If she won't carry, set her up with pepper spray or something else and keep working on her.

I'd make it clear that she needs a gun (or something, at least) for when you aren't there because, if it happens, she'll probably be on her own and needs to be able to defend herself.

Dunno if that helps any, but there's my input.

[lonewolf]

I am in agreement with Crossfire. While I intend absolutely no disrespect to you in any way shape or form. Have her take lessons from someone else. Pay for the absolute beginner class and go from there. One little step at a time. At her pace.

I remember quite clearly the discussion the wife and I had after acquisition of my Harley. She wondered what it would be like to drive instead of just ride. She asked if I could teach her. I'd rather pet a shark! I took the basic motorcycle safety/operation course and had her take it with me. That way I was there, but in no way shape or form involved in her training. After she laid the little Honda 250 down on the second day (for the second time) she decided she was perfectly happy riding behind me while I drove and even appreciated the considerable effort it can take.

Your goal is a little different, though. It really didn't matter to me whether we got the wife her own bike or not. You want your wife to shoot. First you must completely understand that there are those among us who will never shoot, just as there are those who disagree with CHL. The ultimate decision is your wife's. For better or worse. If in the end she decides not to carry and that your carrying is sufficient, take it as a sign of her respect and appreciation for all you do. She is, after all, trusting you with her life.

Good luck, amigo, and I hope all works out well for everyone!

[Cosmo 9]

Taser, about 350.00 no recoil. To answer your question a mouse gun is way better than no gun.

[CompVest]

74novaman,

Where are you located? Crossfire has the right approach in my opinion. If you would like to send me a PM I can make some other suggestions as well.

[Kevinf2349]

Taser, about 350.00 no recoil. To answer your question a mouse gun is way better than no gun.

I respctfully disagree with the taser answer, mainly because of the multiple assailent aspect, epecially at an office breakin.

I agree with the private tutor and let her select the gun she is most comfortable with.

[nitrogen]

If she doesnt want a gun, don't make her get a gun. You'll be wasting your money, and she will just put it in her purse or worse, and won't have it when she needs it.

[mymojo]

Taser, about 350.00 no recoil. To answer your question a mouse gun is way better than no gun.

A few months ago I watched a guy take three shots from tazers before he went down.

[USA1]

.

[couzin]

I remember quite clearly the discussion the wife and I had after acquisition of my Harley. She wondered what it would be like to drive instead of just ride. She asked if I could teach her.

I had avoided teaching my second wife how to ride - i finally relented, taught her on my Dyna, then we bought her a Sporty. That way, when she divorced me later, she could ride both my glide, her sporty, and my queen's anniversary Triumph - as well as drive my Ramcharger. At least they were all parked in the garage (that I used to own...).

[gfmun]

All you can do is present options and offer training options. The worst thing in the world is trying to teach your wife or significant other to drive a straight stick. 2nd is trying to teach this person to shoot. Offer a buddy or anybody you trust who is not you to help her.

My wife is not able to carry at work. She can and will cut you every thing but loose if you get in her space, but hey...what can I say.

We have spent hours with " less than lethal " up to the point she does not realize it is lethal. We also work out with unarmed defense against weapons. A few bruise marks, but it works.


good luck,
George

[suthdj]

My wife always says no when I talk about buying her a gun, she would rather have jewelry. However when I go look at guns she has a spark of interest for guns her size but never really follows through, so I don't push just watch what kind she likes and one day I will buy her one. She has shot my .45 before so I know she can handle it however she is like your woman at around 5' so a Glock 21 is to big for her so I am looking at .380, .32, 9mm range. I know she will be/act mad the day I get her a gun but I think she will take to it. As a little trickery you could buy "yourself" a backup gun in a size she would like then just let her try it.

[Skydivesnake]

Tricky one - my wife just flat refuses to even consider a CCW, although she does appreciate the dangers that life poses and that a firearm can be an effective defense, and is pro-2A. I agree with the poster that said get private instruction, and let her choose her own (be cautious of the salesman who pushes any straight blow-back 380acp as being low recoil though; they are generally not). My wide shoots my M&P9c well but has made it pretty clear she would never carry it. The M&Pc, p239 and some Kahr models are nice and slim and generally fit the smaller hand well.