family gun issue (long)

[Venus Pax]

I’ve got a strange problem.

A few weeks ago, I went to visit my (step) sister, who just had a baby. I went with my mother and step-father, who both know that I carry and am licensed.

While we were getting ready to go into a large stadium, I asked my sister if her glove box or console locked so that I could put my gun in there. (State law requirement.) She told me that my carrying makes her “very uncomfortable.� I asked her why, and she replied that it could just “go off.� I informed her that properly functioning guns kept in holsters don’t “go off� by themselves. I also informed her of the statistics for women becoming victims of a violent crime, and suggested she consider carrying. She seemed fine after that, so I let it go.

She giggled about it when we were out shopping. In fact, she almost blew my cover by shouting it to her husband from a distance of about 7 to 10 feet. I stopped her before “gun� came out of her mouth. I thought she was okay with it, and figured he was too. (He grew up in deep east Texas, a region where gun control means accuracy.)

Before I left, I asked BIL if he liked guns. He said “yes,� and so I showed him my carry weapon. My sister giggled, amused that I carry a weapon.

A few days ago, my mother tells me that BIL was upset that I brought a gun into their house. He told my sister this, who then told my step-dad (her parent), who told my mom. Mom & step-dad prayed that I wouldn’t be offended by it. They don’t like the idea of a gun being in their house, especially now that they have a baby, who is under five months.

I explained to my mother that I didn’t see how a five month old was going to do anything with a gun. If older, I could see concern. I also explained to her that they are taking a great risk by not having a gun, considering burglary and violent crime statistics. Mom basically sided with them, saying that its their choice. I understand, but I believe that they should make more informed choices. I told her that she didn’t need to tell them, but that I just wouldn’t go over there to spend the night if I can’t bring my gun. (I don’t like to be without it at night time, as I believe this is when people are most vulnerable.)

Mom is upset at this. I explained to her that I had only been to their house once anyway, and we usually just all meet up at Mom’s. She brought up that I haven’t been carrying long, and can’t see why I just can’t leave it in the car for a night.

I realize that I am posting to the choir, and that most of you will agree with me. I’m looking for ways to best deal with this situation without causing a family feud. And if all possible, I’d like to convince my relatives to take their own safety, and each other’s, more seriously.

[KBCraig]

She brought up that I haven’t been carrying long, and can’t see why I just can’t leave it in the car for a night.

Because your car is more likely to be broken into than the house is. Ask how would she feel if you armed a criminal by leaving a gun in your car.

Another thing, which I'm trying to phrase delicately... your step-sister sounds a bit loopy, from your description of her reaction.

Kevin

[Corona]

It's really EZ.

Mom is right, it's their choice for their house.

But, because you're a rational human being and have respect for their opinion and their rules, you're also making a choice. You choice is not to put yourself in a situation where you cannot stay overnight without armed.

R E S P E C T. It goes both ways.

Show her some statistics about home invasions at night! One happened 3 weeks ago here in San Antonio, "on the nice side of town". Three guys in two pickups drove to a house, and proceeded to kick in the front door. Homeowner opened fire, killed one of the assailants, and protected himself and his property.

Ask her what they would've done - used harsh language? - pray you don't get murdered?

[txinvestigator]

To say you wish they made more informed decisions bothers me. You want them to see things your way, but you are not willing to see from their point of view.

Every time you get defensive with them and make statements like " I didn’t see how a five month old was going to do anything with a gun" you actually make them feel stronger about their convictions. Her reaction sounds normal to me, especially for an uninformed "sheep".

To me the bottom line is easy. If they don't want you to carry in their house, you don't. Leave it alone.

After some time, perhaps offer to take them shooting. Send them news clips about violent encounters where a legally armed person either did save the day or could have.

I have a couple of questions; why did they know you carry? What was going on at the stadium that prohibited you from carrying?

I am not chastising you, these are just my thoughts and worth whatever you decide.

[jbirds1210]

There are members of my extended family that might not be comfortable with me carrying a gun. WHat they don't know will only save their life. I do not advertise the fact that I have my weapon (nor am I saying that you did)

One of these particular family members happens to live in Arkansas. State law there requires me to ask this person's permission before entering their house with my concealed weapon...I just leave it locked up in the car and take my Fox. I would rather my weapon be in the car and not made a big deal of rather than creating a spectacle which would do nothing but create negative attention toward concealed carry and firearms in general.

I realize that it is my choice to stay there or anywhere that my rights are not appreciated and respected. I am cheap and don't want to pay for a hotel in Little Rock when I have a free bed in their house...I just suck it up and play by their rules....after all, they are very temporary.
Jason

[Lumberjack98]

+1 on txinvestigator's post

great post

[Venus Pax]

You all have given me some very good advice. You're right, txinvestigator. I'm getting very defensive over it. I need to cool down and not bring up the subject with family until I can think rationally about it.
Dh told me tonight that I should send them a letter of apology, since I've obviously offended them. I gave him an emphatic NO, since the apology would be insincere. (I also don't feel that I have done anything wrong.)
Dh doesn't think I should carry anywhere but in the car, and that it should be in the glove box when I leave the car. (But that's another issue.)

We just got into an argument over it. I guess I'm just pretty upset over it now.

As for the stadium, it was a professional sports stadium, and state law prohibits carrying in one.

[seamusTX]

New parents are running on hormones and instincts and do irrational things.

A guy I know cut down all the trees around his brick house because they might fall on the house in a storm and hurt the baby. I've known people who made visitors take off their shoes, wouldn't allow smokers (not smoking at the time), or people wearing perfume into the house, etc.

I predict that if you give them time to come to their senses, they will be embarrassed and wish to forget the incident.

- Jim

[JohnKSa]

There is no legal requirement that you leave the gun in a locked glove box or other locked compartment in a vehicle unless you are going to also leave minors in the vehicle unattended.

There is no law prohibiting carry in a professional sports stadium unless there is a sporting event currently taking place.

[txinvestigator]

Y

As for the stadium, it was a professional sports stadium, and state law prohibits carrying in one.

Really? Which law?

[KBCraig]

Y

As for the stadium, it was a professional sports stadium, and state law prohibits carrying in one.

Really? Which law?

I know you're trying to drive the fine point of the law, but you could be a bit more gentlemanly about it.

I trust that Venus Pax was speaking of the prohibition on carrying at a professional sporting event, not the venue itself (absent a professional sporting event). If I'm wrong and she's mistaken on that point of law, we can correct her knowledge gently. No need to challenge her so abruptly during this time of family turmoil.

Kevin

[cyphur]

I'm going to run into a similar situation, as my mother is staunchly against guns - mainly handguns. My father wouldn't allow them in the house for that reason - even though he grew up hunting and handling firearms, and taught me how to shoot shotguns and .22LR rifles. He's pro-gun, just has to live with my mother, LOL.

Both of my parents work for TSA at the airport and see all sorts of crazy stuff, so they won't ask me not to carry, but they may ask me to keep the weapon out of their house. I'll lock it in a case and leave it in the car, or a place in the house which is safe(also in a lock box). Its their choice, and one has to respect it. They give me more respect than I could ask for - only right to return the favor.



In your situation it sounds like you have a lot of sheeple in your family, and that nothing you're going to do in fighting is going to help. Should you apologize? You bet. For seeing things differently than them, for not being able to help them understand your point of view, and for no longer being able to spend the night because you have made a concious decision to be responsible for your own safety.

Just don't apologize for carrying.....

[Venus Pax]

I don't want any of you fighting on my account. I've had enough fighting already!

I appreciate both the encouragement and the rebuke. The Bible (in Proverbs) says that "open rebuke is better than secret love." I think wise, sincere rebuke makes one wiser. I realize that I've been upset about this, and I don't want to be irrational. That's one thing that gets on my nerves about my sister--she's goofy and lacks a rational mindset most of the time. I want to strive beyone that mindset (for myself), and appreciate the wisdom to get me there.

I still appreciate the encouragement. With everyone but my natural father telling me I'm foolish to carry a gun with me everywhere I go, I come here to read that it is neither foolish or irrational, but wise.

There is more than one side to this coin, and I appreciate both.

[Cosmo 9]

I think you just need to give it some time. When my wife and I first had kids she had me sell all of my guns because she didn't want them in the house! Now she takes great pleasure in the fact that her father, our son and I shoot together all the time.

Sometimes new parents have trouble understanding that "protect" & "defend" mean the same thing.