This will make you sick

[Paladin]

Tales from New Jersey...

http://www.nj.com/living/times/index.ss ... xml&coll=5

"Sword of Damocles or just a toy?
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
By Jeanne Jackson DeVoe
Family Matters

My 6-year-old emptied his piggy bank and then went hunting for the toy of his dreams. It would take his life savings (about $7), but he was willing to plunk down his whole bag of change for a long sword, a dagger and a bow and arrow with suction cup darts.

And here I am, the weapon-hating mom who has banned guns and confiscated water pistols. And here's my 6-year-old looking up at me with a light in his eyes. He's picturing himself a swashbuckling knight. He doesn't know that I'm envisioning the life of crime that could begin this very day. And yet, how can I say no to this boy with the shining eyes?

"You know mommy doesn't like weapons," I tell him. He nods his head solemnly, sensing my weakness. "You can pretend with these things but I don't want to see you using them against anyone," I tell him. "I'll shoot trees," he assures me. He sees I am folding like a piece of soggy cardboard and he jumps up and down with excitement.

Naturally, he couldn't resist showing off his new arsenal. He chooses two weapon-hating moms in the grocery store and unveils his new toy. He doesn't notice their obvious lack of enthusiasm or their questioning looks at me. I feel my face getting red.

"He spent his own allowance," I mutter. "He had his heart set on it."

Had I become one of those over-indulgent parents who throw principles out the window just to please her kids?

Maybe I'm just fooling myself but, in the end, I decided that swords are not the dangerous weapons that guns are to kids and our society.

-- -- --

There are many reasons toy guns aren't safe. They can be mistaken for real weapons, shoot pellets or other things that can injure a child, and confuse children about the danger of real guns. They also send a message that guns are OK. (They are not OK. They killed more than 30,000 people in 2002, according to the Centers for Disease Control.)

Yet, as the mother of two boys who were weaned on PBS and,until recently, never allowed even a water gun, I know children will turn sticks and fingers and Lego blocks into guns and swords. And part of me feels like boys have a natural inclination to play games that involve good guys and bad guys and battles. And this doesn't necessarily mean they're naturally more violent than girls. They just need some way to pretend they are strong and powerful. I'm reluctant to give them the message that their desire to do that is bad.

And too much political correctness can get silly. One mother I know objected to a group of children at our preschool carrying rifles when they acted out "Peter and the Wolf" in a preschool play. Well, those hunters are essential to the story of "Peter and the Wolf" and they bring back the wolf alive. When this woman suggested that her son pretend he was hunting vegetables instead of wolves, I felt sorry for that little boy.

Still, I can't deny that my 6-year-old's tiny bow and arrow, plastic dagger and swords are weapons. They represent real-world weapons that can kill people. I had already shown my weak will when I allowed my older son to go to a laser party in which the kids chased one another with light beams.

"I don't like the fact that it involves guns and you shoot each other," I objected feebly.

"It's not like a gun, it's like a gas pump and we shoot light," my son argued.

-- -- --

I let my older son have a neon-colored plastic gun when he was a policeman for Halloween. But that gun mysteriously disappeared after Halloween and, strangely enough, so has every other water pistol, super soaker and disc shooter in the house. They all went to gun heaven. The gun ban remains in effect despite tearful pleas from my children.

"Guns kill people," I tell them.

My sons know they have to resort to their fingers if they want to play cowboys or cops and robbers. I'm OK with that, but I still hate weapons.

In the end, I just couldn't bring myself to tell my son he couldn't spend every penny he had to transform himself into a knight in shining armor.

Jeanne Jackson DeVoe is a journalist who lives in Princeton. E-mail her at jeanne@devoecom.com. "

[ghentry]

I had already shown my weak will when I allowed my older son to go to a laser party in which the kids chased one another with light beams.

God no! Not light beams!

While I'm making fun of this women, it's actually more sad than anything else.

[Kalrog]

She KNOWS that it is illogical and irrational and hypocritical - yet she does it anyway. Sounds like she might need her meds adjusted.

[nitrogen]

You know, I hate to say this, but I agree in part with the woman, but for VERY different reasons.

I hate toy guns, mostly because I think they give kids the idea that GUN == TOY, which in my eyes is quite dangerous.

I'd rather give them the real thing; teach them the safety rules, etc. When I know my kids know how to safely handle REAL guns, maybe THEN i'd let them have the fun water gun, etc.

[stevie_d_64]

I don't even expend the energy to roll my eyes anymore...

[sparx]

It IS sad, as she's just one of many that suffer from misinformation (we all know guns don't kill, people do), illogical thinking (guns CAN be dangerous if not properly handled, but I would rather teach proper respect and safe handling of a powerful tool instead of pretending they don't exist and pray that the child never gets exposed to one), and peer pressure (all the other anti-gun moms she hangs with that feed her the latest bull that they've heard, but haven't bothered to factually check).

And, although I don't have any children of my own, I was indeed a curious chap when growing up and nothing seemed to pique my interest as much as those things I was "denied". What's sad is that, due to her confiscations of halloween toys and other objects that represent "weapons", I would almost bet that she's setting her child up to become a statistic as one of the children that, when exposed to an uncontrolled gun over at someone else's house becomes overly curious and an accident may happen.

I sense that she really, deep down, realizes that her logic is somewhat flawed, but I also feel that no logical communication with this person will sway the feelings and objections that her fellowship of friends, also seemingly anti-gun, have engrained in her. She may be a very sweet and loving lady... I'm just glad she wasn't MY mom!

Just my .02 cents.

[TxFire]

I understand your point, but by that logic my son will now thinks all cars and trucks are toys. I grew up with toy guns but I firmly learned that GUNS were not toys. It takes some effort to be a parent and teach childern the difference and right from wrong. Seems though alot of "parents" don't want spend the time. Not directed at ayone here, just society in general. Specifically the little slice of society that I am in contact with via my job. I think toy guns and real guns can co-exist if the parent will teach the child the difference and watch for inappropriate behavior with even a toy gun.

Just my .02 worht.

[ElGato]

I believe --

That Regardless of what she like's or believes a Boy wanting to know about weapon's is Normal and Natural.

That in every Boy and Man, no matter how gentle a person, there is a Warrior when needed.

That if our Father's had not had that Warrior in them we would not have survived.

That if our Children do not have that Warrior in them we will not survive.

That it is Normal, Natural, and Necessary.

I don't care if no one else agree's with me here, this is what I believe.

[TxFire]

Hope she doe not have a pool or allow her child to a pool.

In 2000, 174 children (0-18) in the United States died from unintentional firearm-related injuries. Unintentional injuries are usually caused when children play with guns or are hunting.


In the United States, 1,236 children (0-18) died from drowning in 2000.

SEVEN times more children died from drowning in 2000.

[dws1117]

The only thing I can say about this woman is...

[KBCraig]

You know, I hate to say this, but I agree in part with the woman, but for VERY different reasons.

I hate toy guns, mostly because I think they give kids the idea that GUN == TOY, which in my eyes is quite dangerous.

I'd rather give them the real thing; teach them the safety rules, etc. When I know my kids know how to safely handle REAL guns, maybe THEN i'd let them have the fun water gun, etc.

I do exactly the same thing. All my kids have learned to shoot real guns (except the 3 year old, and his turn is coming), but I never bought toy guns for any of them.

Yes, I had toy guns as a kid, and I knew the difference. I don't believe my kids would be different, but the world is undeniably different. Toy guns get people killed these days, and can otherwise result in legal and school discipline problems.

Kevin

[Flatland2D]

I understand your point, but by that logic my son will now thinks all cars and trucks are toys. I grew up with toy guns but I firmly learned that GUNS were not toys. It takes some effort to be a parent and teach childern the difference and right from wrong. Seems though alot of "parents" don't want spend the time. Not directed at ayone here, just society in general. Specifically the little slice of society that I am in contact with via my job. I think toy guns and real guns can co-exist if the parent will teach the child the difference and watch for inappropriate behavior with even a toy gun.

Just my .02 worht.

I agree. I think kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit for. I'm 22 so my childhood was not too long ago. I grew up with all the toy guns, squirt guns, and cap guns a kid could want. Got my first BB gun at 8 and continued buying more till I was in high school. When I was 17 I got my first "real" gun, a .22 rifle. Been slowly working my way up the ladder. I don't remember my dad ever sitting me down and having a talk about the differences between my toys and real guns. It was blatantly obvious to me. This kind of logic that if kids are exposed to guns then they will undoubtedly grow up into mass murderers is fatally flawed. Do all kids that played with Hot Wheels grow up to be race car drivers?

[gigag04]

Flatland2D and I are on the same page.

When we lived in Moscow, Russia after my dad "got out of SF" (I'll let you guys read between the lines) I had a few pelet guns. I even played with them outside at times, I'm sure it freaked the KGB out...but oh well.

When my mom I and got back stateside I had an "arsenal." My buddies and I would watch a movie like cliffhanger and then reenact it. We would even paint toy guns to look real, kind of like building a model. We knew better than to play out in public with them - it was a backyard thing.

Anyway...this lady is looney

-nick

[sparx]

I hate toy guns, mostly because I think they give kids the idea that GUN == TOY, which in my eyes is quite dangerous.

I'd rather give them the real thing; teach them the safety rules, etc. When I know my kids know how to safely handle REAL guns, maybe THEN i'd let them have the fun water gun, etc.

I fully respect your feelings of course, but will say that, at least in our family, as a child I was clearly shown and knew the difference between a REAL gun and a toy gun at a very early age. When I was old enough for a cap gun (3 maybe??), I also knew that "Daddy's gun was a real gun (just like on the cowboy shows! ), made a BIG bang, and with it he could REALLY blow stuff up or kill with it," and could be extremely dangerous if not properly handled.

We may have been in the minority, but neither I nor my four other brothers and sisters were confused in the slightest between the differences. My Dad made sure of that by showing us all at about that age what his pistol, a Colt .44-40, could do ("See that old clay pot sitting on that log out there? BOOM! [as fragments and dirt settled, leaving only the pot's bottom on the log.] Now don't ever let that happen to you! A bullet can't tell the difference between you, one of your brothers or sisters, or that old pot, only you can."), how loud it was (even with our fingers pressed tight into our ears), and that it was NOT a toy and wasn't to be even touched without him around.

He would unload it and let us "check it out" to see how heavy it was (too heavy to lug around at that age, for sure!), and asked that should we ever be curious and want to look at it again, all we need do is tell him so he can unload it first. And, if we ever wanted to shoot it, to do the same and he would take us out and let us shoot it. But, it was years before any of us felt that want (at least until were 10 or so). By that time we already had plenty of training in safe gun handling and experience shooting .22's and .410's.

With the exception of that one pistol, which was kept behind his bedside dresser and inaccessible to a crawler/toddler, he kept all his guns locked up. But, since we all knew where he "hid" the key (and he knew we knew), I'm glad that he stressed that keeping the gun cabinet locked didn't mean that we couldn't handle his guns, but he just didn't want us to handle them without him overseeing our safety habits until we were old enough. There were plenty of times when we took him up on his offer to look at them, especially when we had friends over (who all had parents that were gun-savvy and hunters or target shooters alike, thank goodness). This also gave him the chance to explain proper gun safety not only to us, but also to them, too.

Anyway, that's my opinion. Teach them what a real gun is and can do at a very early age, squelch their curiosity by letting them handle an empty gun and explain what the various parts do and how to safely handle and care for it before their "sneakiness" gets the better of them, and take common-sense security measures to keep your family safe.

[nitrogen]

You were luckier than I was; I grew up in an ANTI household; you all might be right, I'd never know it, having no experience with any real guns till my 20's.

I do think your last point is 100% right and 0% wrong. I wish they'd teach this stuff in school. (Imagine that)