UPDATED: Child Home Alone

[ghentry]

I've been thinking about our home security and one aspect I'm not comfortable with is the fact that my son will be home by himself during the summer. I sold security systems for 3 years and know that a lot of burglaries happen during the daytime, and the rate increases during the summer due to teens being out of school.

To add urgency to the matter, I just spoke to our neighbor and found out that they were just burglarized about a week ago, so this is putting this subject on the front burner.

I'm just starting to work this over in my head and would appreciate any suggestions you may have. Here is some info that may help you help me.

- My son is 14 years old
- No dogs in the house
- We live in a 2-story house, all bedrooms on the second floor
- Burglar alarm system is monitored and on while he is here alone
- He never answers the door unless it is a relative
- I am thinking of putting in a few cameras due to blind spots outside of the house that cannot be seen through a window (ex. the driveway and front door)
- We are at least 45 minutes away in case of emergency


I'm comfortable with my plan if I was home at night, but I'm not sure about what my options are for him home alone at this age.

Any thoughts?

[jbirds1210]

I can only pass on what my parents did when I was that age. I shot a good deal of skeet........I literally grew up with a gun in my hands.
I owned a shotgun and was educated enough to make a personal safety decision at the age of 14! I realize that this might not be a popular decision, but it was the case when I was younger. I am afraid to know what my father would have done to me if I had used it any irresponsible way.
I guess this is a case by case basis that goes along with maturity and the way parents feel. Just my opinion!

[nitrogen]

It's really up to you as parents to know what your child is capable of.
Let me put my security consultant hat on for a second, and tell you what I normally tell people. This usually goes for younger kids...

As far as children go, make sure they have *A* plan on what to do in certain emergencies, like in a fire, or a breakin.
What that plan is depends on what his maturity level is. Is he a good shot? Is he mature enough to handle a shotgun or other weapon? If so, do you feel that he knows what to do with it? What does the local law say about minors using a firearm in emergencies?

My personal opinion, not knowing your child would be to not let him have access to any firearms. Tell him to call 911 and run for a safe room in the house. If you have a burglar alarm, make sure he knows how to use the "Panic" feature.

Then there's always the necessity for a good backup plan. If your child doesn't feel safe for any reason, make sure there's a safe place he can go, like a neighbors house.

[stevie_d_64]

I remember when I was that age, having several options/activities I attended so that my parents didn't have to worry too much during the summer break...

I would first sit down and ask him what he would like to do, 14 year olds are amazingly adept at telling you what they'd like to do, so that you can tell them what they are actually going to do...

Of course my summers were a bit longer than they are now, like most of the others here can recall...

I have a great-nephew (by marriage) and he's 14 this summer as well...

I have suggested a Christian Youth camp I used to work at up in N.E. Texas...They have short one and two week "sessions" with all sorts of activities grouped by age and gender sometimes...Its very structured (which I think fosters a good base to work on later on in the year) with a good staff of college aged folks running most of the operations, and an older staff that monitors over all of that as well...

So for at least two of those weeks, he's in good hands...I highly recommend it, and would be glad to give you more info if you like...

BTW, it is not faith restricted...The demographics over the last 40 years of "campers" has been all over the spectrum...From Catholic to Protestand fundementalist...Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran etc etc...

Its a really good experience...One that I attended for many years as a camper and staff...My Uncle ran the camp for a few years, and handed the overall management to a good friend of ours in the ministry, and he's really done a fine job of carrying on the tradition...

And the prices are absolutely a bargain, considering what you may pay in keeping a 14 year old entertained, in food, and other purchases in the same time frame...

As far as the rest of the summer...Well...I wish I had some ideas I could throw at you right this second...

BTW, anyone who is interested, is very welcome to email me and I'll be glad to steer you in the right direction...

I'll check and confirm, the place I am talking about does have a website...If there is enough response, I'll link that URL here...

[ghentry]

I guess I need to clarify my original post. I understand that we (his mom and I) would have to make the call on whether or not he should have access to a firearm or not. He likes to go to the range with me and shoot handguns and I am HUGE on safety, so he has a good footing there, however, he is a teenager and the brain doesn't always work like it should. At this point, I'm not entertaining the idea of arming him.

What I'm looking for are other suggestions for an emergency plan for him in case of a break-in while he is at home. I agree with the safe room. He usually has our phone in his bedroom and he has a cell phone that works. I'm just trying to think of any options that might help him make it through the situation.

Ideas coming to mind are: front door camera which can be seen from his tv, emergency roll down ladder for his window, beefed up bedroom door with lock, monster sized bottle of pepper spray, protective dog (German Shepherd, etc.).

Any other suggestions along those lines?

[HighVelocity]

Tough call but the easiest and most immediate change you can make is to get a dog. A nice big loud barking dog is a serious deterrent.

Even if you don't get a dog, put up Beware of DOG signs in obvious places.

[Crossfire]

Most important - have a plan. Also have a backup plan for when the first plan doesn't work. Go over and over the "what would you do if" scenarios. Fire, break-in, tornado, whatever, you know the drill.

Second, know your neighbors and make sure your son knows them too. I would feel a lot better about letting a scared kid into my house if he was the same kid that mowed my lawn than if I had only seen him in passing.

Third - restrict his internet useage. More kids are harmed by people that used the internet to gain their trust than by random daytime burglars.

Last - get that kid a German Shepherd. A boy needs a dog! It will give him something to be responsible for, something to love and share time with, and something that may one day save his life.

[bauerdj]

I like the dog idea - a big one though does not need to be one of the aggresive breeds, does not need papers either. I would suggest a Lab, G. SHepard, or a lab/shepard cross buts thats just my prejudices showing. The dog can also be an activity for the lad as well. I've had good luck with Collies as well for that type situation but I am not sure how one would handle a Texas summer - better to stick with the short hair breeds.

Dave B.

[TxFire]

I fully agree on the dog idea with the caveat that he and the dog attend at te very LEAST a basic obedience training and preferably further. I also suggest a German Shepherd, but I am biased. The dog does not need to be an expensive one, but with a G. Shepherd I highly reccomend researching and knowing the breeder.

Below are my two.
http://community.webshots.com/photo/703 ... 6105jpCajE

[Crossfire]

TxFire - those are a couple of fine looking pups!

I have had several German Shepherds over the years, including one that we adopted from a local police department. The dog had been shot, and was considered no longer fit for service. He WAS gun shy and terrified of thunder but, other than that, an excellent companion dog. He lived to be 15.

A year ago I lost my last shepherd to cancer. I have not yet been able to think about getting another one. But... your puppy pictures got me thinking.

Maybe someday.

[ghentry]

They are very nice looking. I was thinking about a boxer. From what I've read, a good guard dog and good disposition. The short hair would be a plus.

[TxFire]

llwatson,
Thanks for the compliments, I'll pass it on to them. The female on the left was the first, she'll be 4 this year. She is great. She is my running partner. The male will be 9 this year. A friend of ours is a Breeder/Trainer and he was he primary stud dog and companion. He is aslo a Certified Therapy dog. She retired him about 1 1/2 years ago to us. He is AWESOME. Very loving and genlte yet VERY protective of my wife and 2 year old son. I pitty the person who might intend to do them harm if he's around.
If anyone is interested in a very good German Shepherd Dog I can reccomend a breeder in North Texas. She's not cheap, but not the most expensive out there either. The U.S. military just recently bought a male from her.

Also, I ahve heard good about boxers. The short hair could be a plus also. I love my pups, but they shed alot!!!

[anygunanywhere]

There are lots of purebreds and mixed breeds that make good companions and that will be agressive when called on to protect their owners. Personally, I would not aquire a lab for protection, unless the bloodline has some protective genes. Often the agressiveness is bred out of the line and the dogs are on ly good for play. As prior posters state, do your homework and choose carefully. I would not buy from a puppy mill if you are looking at any particular breed.

[stevie_d_64]

I'm groovy with the dog idea too...

As far as access to a firearm for defensive purposes...I would probably not, regardless of the purpose, and skill level...

I do not believe a 14 year old mind works as well as an adult (or more life experienced persons mind does), but thats just my opinion...

I also believe there are severe legal penalties that can be incurred for allowing a minor uncontrolled access to firearms...Again, regardless of reason or purpose...

I guess the only other obvious thing to keep him busy would be to find some podunk job that keeps him busy till you get home...I haven't heard that talked about yet...

[stevie_d_64]

I think the "plan" idea is a good one...But with all plans of action, to me it is not something I believe a 14 year old will master, and it become second nature to him...

Too many diversions and attention getters out there to cloud the mind...

And even then to have a plan, would mean it was prudent to have a back up contigency in case things change or not go as planned...I think that is too much for the age of the person to work out in a short period of time to be accepted, and comfortable with everyone...

At this point it appears to be well established that communications are good to go...And the ability to remove himself from a situation is somewhat established...That may be really all that needs to be honed...

If its unacceptable to get him out of the house during the day when you or your wife aren't there...Either at a camp situation, or job...Then the options about his well being and protection become narrowed...

Personally, I'm going to look into what my nephew is thinking he's going to do...He's the same age, and even though his mom is a school teacher, their activities will be limited, because shes got "other diversions" with his future stepdad...So if I get another idea I'll certainly float it out here and see what you think...