Girlfriend

The "What Works, What Doesn't," "Recommendations & Experiences"

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melkor41
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Re: Girlfriend

#16

Post by melkor41 »

[quote="Kythas"]Update:

Spoke with her again about it tonight. Turns out she wasn't mad about my carrying a gun - well, she's not excited about it, but that wasn't really the reason for the fight. She was mad because I broke a promise I'd made to her and she just focused on the gun angle instead of dealing with the real issue.

quote]

HEHEHEHE see my post above..... them womens are craaaaaaazy. "rlol" :thumbs2:
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anygunanywhere
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Re: Girlfriend

#17

Post by anygunanywhere »

Many years ago, pre-CHL in Texas, back when a lot of folks packed illegally because we always had the likes of Ma Richards in the goobernatorial office, Mrs. Anygun objected to my bringing heat when we traveled or our route took us into questionable areas.

Reasoning was not successful so I packed anyway. We did discuss it often, and I focused on our responsibility to protect our boys and each other as best we could.

The turning point was when I actually pulled the Springfield to ward off a crazy man when we were stuck in traffic.

Since that day she has never again questioned anything regarding firearms, and was the one most adamant about her CHL when we returnd to Texas from Kalifornia.

It truly is a shame what must happen sometimes to convince someone that their beliefs are wrong.

Anygunanywhere
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dukesean
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Re: Girlfriend

#18

Post by dukesean »

anygunanywhere wrote:Many years ago, pre-CHL in Texas, back when a lot of folks packed illegally because we always had the likes of Ma Richards in the goobernatorial office, Mrs. Anygun objected to my bringing heat when we traveled or our route took us into questionable areas.

Reasoning was not successful so I packed anyway. We did discuss it often, and I focused on our responsibility to protect our boys and each other as best we could.

The turning point was when I actually pulled the Springfield to ward off a crazy man when we were stuck in traffic.

Since that day she has never again questioned anything regarding firearms, and was the one most adamant about her CHL when we returnd to Texas from Kalifornia.

It truly is a shame what must happen sometimes to convince someone that their beliefs are wrong.

Anygunanywhere
Unfortunately the media has equated guns and carrying guns with crime and death, and people have a stigma against them because of this. You're right, it's a shame that sometimes it requires personal experience to convince someone that their beliefs are wrong. But you know what, at the end of the day you now have a very strong advocate who will say, "I used to be totally against CHL but let me tell you what happened that changed my mind completely..."
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bdickens
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Re: Girlfriend

#19

Post by bdickens »

Whoops. This is what can happen when no one knows the whole story. Good luck in making a convert!
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flintknapper
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Re: Girlfriend

#20

Post by flintknapper »

Russell wrote:I was a little surprised when I came stumbling into this thread and saw all the "Leave that girl!" responses.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think I could be with a girl that didn't believe in mine and her right to defend ourselves either, but wow. You guys were like a pack of hyenas :lol:

I wasn't.

I am glad it was a "misunderstanding" (GF failed to come to the point), and I hope all works out well for them. A good relationship is something to be appreciated and cherished.

OTOH, if the GF is serious about her first statements (and unwilling to change)....then I'd be looking elsewhere.

Last time I checked....Texas was full of girls..and they're still making more. Betcha he could find one that doesn't have a problem with self defense. I would think that most women would welcome a man willing to fight for her safety and his.
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aardwolf
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Re: Girlfriend

#21

Post by aardwolf »

flintknapper wrote:OTOH, if the GF is serious about her first statements (and unwilling to change)....then I'd be looking elsewhere.

Last time I checked....Texas was full of girls..and they're still making more. Betcha he could find one that doesn't have a problem with self defense. I would think that most women would welcome a man willing to fight for her safety and his.
:iagree:

There are plenty of Texas girls who have their heads on straight. There's nothing wrong with having fun with the airheads but when it comes time to settle down I'm not settling. I aim to marry a girl with something worthwhile between her ears who shares my core values.
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Liko81
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Re: Girlfriend

#22

Post by Liko81 »

My current gf is somewhat frightened of handguns. It hasn't been a huge issue, but while she was rubbing my back she noticed it on my bedside table and asked if I'd put it out of sight. I did so, making sure it was still easy to get to. If she's an "out of sight, out of mind" type of person, I can deal. I hope to eventually introduce her to guns; even if she doesn't totally reverse her stance and become a gun person, hopefully an outing with my .22 will lessen her fear somewhat. I have friends with similar issues, and their fear of guns has been mitigated, if not cured completely, through gaining familiarity in a "comfortable" environment (i.e. informal plinking)

smyrna
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Re: Girlfriend

#23

Post by smyrna »

Kythas wrote:She even went so far as to say she'd rather a BG kill her or me than have me kill someone in defense of her or my life.
Now there's your problem! Do you really want to associate with someone who values her life, or yours for that matter, so highly? (Sarcasm intended!)

Kythas...not sure how old you are or any particulars...but, the above statement by your lady friend as well as her statement about it "being someone's time" could indicate that she lives her life from what is called an "external locus of control" meaning she sees herself as having little control over the outcomes of most everything in life. I can't tell you to drop her like a hot potato, but get to know her very well before you get serious.

Who knows...you might just bring her into the light, but don't be afraid to walk if you have to. The "helpless" ones can make your life misery.

bdickens
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Re: Girlfriend

#24

Post by bdickens »

More so than any stories you can tell her or statistics you can quote her, your best bet for calming her fears is showing her how calm, rational, peaceful, and responsible you are.
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longtooth
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Re: Girlfriend

#25

Post by longtooth »

:iagree: Excellent :iagree:
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agbullet2k1
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Re: Girlfriend

#26

Post by agbullet2k1 »

My wife grew up in a "we don't own guns" house. Not that they were opposed to them in general, but they just didn't want them around. Consequently, my wife had zero experience with them when we started dating. I, on the other hand, grew up in a hunting family, so we had our stuff on display in the family room. It was a bit of a shock for her, but I didn't try to force the issue. I knew eventually she would ask why I carried, and my answer would be "to keep the good guys on even ground." The trick is not to force the issue. Some people grow up and get rooted in family ideals and traditions, not even questioning them. It takes a whole lot of arguing to change someone's mind, but only one well-worded answer to an honest question.

She's getting involved a lot more now, thanks to just taking it at her pace.
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Venus Pax
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Re: Girlfriend

#27

Post by Venus Pax »

Some of my students live in homes where guns are considered the property of thugs. I make it a point to let them know that I shoot recreationally and believe in a citizen's right to self-defense.
Every so often, a newer student will ask, "You got guns in your house, Miss?"

I've started replying, "Well, of course. Doesn't everybody?"

We need to remove this fallacious idea that guns are the evil man's possessions, and that no good person should have one.
"If a man breaks in your house, he ain't there for iced tea." Mom & Dad.

The NRA & TSRA are a bargain; they're much cheaper than the cold, dead hands experience.

old farmer
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Re: Girlfriend

#28

Post by old farmer »

Morn' :tiphat:
It took 10 year for my wife accepted weapons in the house. I started with Ball and Cap rifles. "It was for the history, dear.." ;-) When one our friend was raped then the walls were down. :eek6 It was long conversion but now she is waiting for her CHL. :thewave
:tiphat:
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bigolbigun
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Re: Girlfriend

#29

Post by bigolbigun »

flintknapper wrote:
She actually responded with "How do you know it wasn't their time to go and that's what was meant to happen?"
"Meant to happen" suggests pre-destiny and control of our every movement by a higher power. If this "higher power" is the same God I worship... then she needs to spend a little time in her Bible. This flies in the face of Biblical teachings in terms of "self defense".

As for "their time to go", this is an equally dangerous position to take. God has provided us with intelligence (albeit varying degrees), common sense (most of us)...and has given us certain other physical, mental and spiritual tools to survive. We are charged with using this things appropriately and with vigor, lest the evil in this world circumvent that which God intends for us.
Exodus 22:2 says, “If a thief is caught breaking in and is struck so that he dies, the defender is not guilty of bloodshed.�

Also, remember that on the very day of his arrest Christ said to his disciples, “If you don’t have a sword, sell your cloak and buy one� (Luke 22:36)

Just a couple of chapters you could read with her. Good luck

Aggie_engr
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Re: Girlfriend

#30

Post by Aggie_engr »

My g/f and I had the same disagreements, she thought that I was just a trigger happy redneck looking for a fight. But after I told her she had no weight in my decision and that I will carry regardless of her opinion or criticism she didn't say anything else. I got my license and gun and started carrying and now she is okay with it after she saw how responsible one can be with a gun. Now when she gives me hug and grabs it (my gun of course) she just looks at me and grins. ;-) Sometimes you just have to trust your own feelings and draw a line when it comes to certain situations.
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