Is my wife really right? Say it ain't so...please

[Hoodasnacks]

So my wife and I have had this argument quite frequently. It starts with one of my sons asking to go down to the neighborhood park or to the neighborhood basketball court. She says no unless his friends are going...or unless I go. If I have no desire to go, I am of course asked over and over again until I am annoyed enough to stop it. And then I turn to my wife and re-start the argument..."really, he can't just go? He could beat up child molesters and kidnappers. How unsafe is it really?"

I once found my wife's position absurd because, at least as of now, this particular son is nearly six feet tall and not exactly an easy target. Further, I live in a very nice neighborhood that is very safe. I thought my wife was just being silly until recent events:

1) the el paso shooter lived near (perhaps within walking distance).
2) random recent shooting of a kid on a bike in the city.
3) other random recent shootings in nearby apartments, etc.

--All within the last few months.

So my question to my esteemed wise CHL Board members--are we really to the point where she is right and we can't let teen-aged kids simply walk around in the neighborhood, or is it still that bad things randomly happen and it is so statistically improbable that we shouldn't baby the youth?

My wife's argument seems to get stronger by the day...

[flechero]

I'm 6'1" and I carry a gun.... what does size have to do with it? Trouble can happen to anyone, anywhere. But more to the point, why not go with him occasionally, it will make your wife happy and probably be meaningful to the boy as well.

Depending on his age, his friends and the scene at the park, I may or may not let him go. For example: If you live in downtown Houston, that'd be a hard no.... if you live in Celina, that's a likely yes. Lots of middle ground.

[kayt00]

Let the kid be a kid. Digital transmission of news and events makes the spread of information almost instantaneous. This I feel makes things feel worse than they actually are and maybe projects an illusion that things are worse than they actually are. Add in that metro areas are being condensed with more and more people further altering the perception of safety. Statistically I'm on your side, let him go to the park. Just my opinion.

[Middle Age Russ]

Everyone should do their best to be aware of their surroundings at all times -- kids and adults alike -- so that they can mitigate potential threats. If your kid has practiced this skill and doesn't spend half of his waking hours head down into an electronic device, he is MUCH better prepared than most to keep himself safe. Keep in mind that in our connected world, the "if is bleeds, it leads" tactics of media sources inundate us with report -- almost all of them negative -- that we'd never have heard of a generation ago. That doesn't mean potential threats aren't out there, but rather that they are likely no more pervasive than they were previously even though we hear about them more.

[Pilgrim]

Get a basketball goal? Have fun!

[RicoTX]

Everyone should do their best to be aware of their surroundings at all times -- kids and adults alike -- so that they can mitigate potential threats. If your kid has practiced this skill and doesn't spend half of his waking hours head down into an electronic device, he is MUCH better prepared than most to keep himself safe. Keep in mind that in our connected world, the "if is bleeds, it leads" tactics of media sources inundate us with report -- almost all of them negative -- that we'd never have heard of a generation ago. That doesn't mean potential threats aren't out there, but rather that they are likely no more pervasive than they were previously even though we hear about them more.

Agreed! I tell people the same thing all the time.

[Jago668]

Statistically speaking he'll be fine. I'd be inclined to let him go by himself. Course I also grew up a few decades ago, and an hour away from a major city. So my perspective is not exactly current. I'll probably feel like your wife when my daughter wants to start going places by herself.

[oljames3]

Since 1979, I have watched my children for the same reason I now carry a pistol every day ... not because of the chances, but because of the consequences. My oldest is 40. My youngest is 16.

[Hoodasnacks]

Get a basketball goal? Have fun!

I wish--tiny lot with sloped driveway. It is a terrible thing. I have one in my pool, but it is a bit cold for that.

[philip964]

A young kid says “gun free zone”.

Go with him, or put up a basketball goal at the house.

[strogg]

Let me just throw this nugget out there. As population goes up, so does the number of crimes. That's why we keep seeing more and more crazy stuff in the news. The human population isn't exactly shrinking. Now, if you look at crime rate per capita by population density, it really hasn't gone anywhere in the last few years. Generally, the higher the density, the higher the per capita crime rate, so keep that in mind.

On an interesting side bar, the higher the population density in a genera area, the higher the percentage of people voting blue. Just saying.

[E10]

1. The El Paso shooter drove over 600 miles to select the El Paso Walmart he targeted.
2. and 3. If these are true about your locale you might think about moving to a safer place.

And yes, she's right. You don't say how old your son is, but ability doesn't always accompany size. Get off your duff and go to the park with your kid. Take a ball and your gun if you think you need to (if you have a license, o'course). I went with my three, and now they're going with theirs. It'll be good for both of you.

[pushpullpete]

w most.
Go to the park, spend some time w the kid(s). They grow up quick. Take binoculars & do some
bird watching (overwatch). Hopefully it will be totally unnecessary. You may even enjoy it.

[Texas_Blaze]

I take no comfort when someone says we are simply hearing more about violent situations because of the lighting fast spread of news, and that those situations where always there in the old days. Knowing 100 violent crimes occurred this weekend in my community doesn’t mean I’m in more danger had I not known about those crimes. However it does mean that I can now take action to reduce the likelihood and set mitigations to reduce the severity given that I now know the risk magnitude of the potential for crime to meet me. So my advice is to use the information you have to establish your course of action. You always make better decisions with more information.

[mrvmax]

The area in Friendswood where the basketball court and park is located has frequent crimes although Friendswood is a “safe” city with great police presence. If I remember correctly there has even been a shooting. No place is really safe but we still have to live our lives, acute awareness of surroundings and the willingness to vacate areas quickly when things don’t seem right would be great things to teach him. I read a book about a criminal in the UK. He purposely picked the biggest guys and antagonized them into altercations that they would lose. He’d insult their wife or girlfriend, making crude sexual remarks. Being big isn’t always a deterrent.