When your SO has a different view...

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cyphur
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#16

Post by cyphur »

My SO had a very different view of firearms when I first brought them into the house, especially with CC. However after teaching my kids firearms safety, seeing how I handle them, seeing that it is possible to be safe in a house full of kids AND guns, etc.
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Ryan
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#17

Post by Ryan »

My first wife was pretty anti-gun, and her WHOLE family was vehemently against guns. This is one of the many reasons the marriage didn't work.

I am remarried now, and before we even made it official that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we had a very long talk about the things that I/we would never give up. For me, it was my guns, my dogs, and my motorcycle. And if she was against them in any way, we need to end the relationship now before it goes any further. But thankfully, not only is she very pro-gun, but she has her LTC as well. And both of my in-law parents have their LTC, as well as my brother in law. So her entire family is very pro-gun.

If at all possible, this is something that should be addressed before the word marriage is even discussed. However, I'm well aware that some people have been married before LTC was even a "thing." And I have no words of wisdom for those of you in this situation. I just made sure on my current marriage that all of this was discussed before getting into something that was doomed to fail.

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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#18

Post by MrMcCullster »

Whoops. I should have started the thread instead of hijacking that other one, but I'll go into more detail here.

I didn't really grow up around guns. I new my dad had a gun (Colt .357 Trooper III) and when my grandpa passed it was given to my dad as well (S&W Model 10). My mom even had a .38 special revolver, but I never saw them and never found them in their closet and "played with them" or anything. I didn't like the loud "pop" of the bigger guns and didn't shoot a .22 until I was 10 or 12, and even then I was trepedacious about it and had to see my dad shoot a few to see it was okay.

Jump forward to when I bought my XD 40 4 inch in fall of 2010. My parents moved to Tennessee and I stayed behind to live in Dallas in my own apartment. I bought it for a nightstand gun.

5 years ago my 4 or 5 friends all said we were going to take our CHL class together and get certified. At the time the course was 8 hours of classroom time and 2 hours of range qualification, and often times was split up into two days. So we figured it would be better to do it with people you know and have a little fun.

We kept talking about it and never went through with it. Then last year they dropped the hours needed from 8-10 down to 4-6 and I knew it was time to do it. But my reasoning wasn't to carry a gun at all times. It was for another reason.

Like I mentioned in the other thread, the state of Texas does not recognize or have a certificate of training associated with firearm safety. You can pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to train to properly use your handgun, practice safe storage and lockup procedures, and you show that piece of paper or receipt from the training school to an officer and they'll laugh in your face and say it's not worth the paper it's printed on.

But you show that government issued LTC license and that all of a sudden has some weight behind it. They recognize it and treat you differently than someone who has 15 years of handgun training but no CHL license.

But, over the course of 2016 with all of the shootings and news stories, my view started to shift from safety card to thinking I might want to start carrying. This is where my wife and I differ.

Imagine a timeline. Draw a line on a piece of paper with end points. On one end is the love and peace hippy dude. On the other is a militia member preparing for the zombie apocalypse or fall of the government. If there was a center point of that line, I'd probably fall more on the left side of that. And I started halfway between hippy and middle of the road. And eventually have moved slowly toward the middle.

My wife is scared that my path on that timeline won't stop. And at some point she'll be getting off of that train, because that's not the guy she wanted to marry.

I've tried to include her in shooting. I haven't tried again. My approach to the situation could be better. My wife doesn't like the constant reminder of unsafe things happening in our neighborhood, because she knows there is an agenda behind it when I say it. I didn't marry a dumb woman, that's for sure. She knows that I'm going through this process of getting my license, so I don't need to remind her of all of the shootings happening in LA, FL, Dallas, MN, or of the car break-ins and thieving going on in our neighborhood from all of the dislocated tornado victims in Garland.

We will see how she reacts to the carry situation when I get my plastic and start carrying on a regular basis. I honestly don't know how she will react when I tell her that I choose to not go places that have the .06 and .07 signs posted. I have no doubt she wants us and our 3 year old daughter to feel safe when we go out. I just hope that she comes around. I'll try to keep you guys posted. My plastic should be in the mail this week.
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LSUTiger
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#19

Post by LSUTiger »

Ask my ex-fiancee. "rlol"

I told the current Mrs. LSUTiger before we got married that if I ever had to choose between her and guns that I was gonna miss her. And that ain't no bovine excrement.
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#20

Post by SewTexas »

I questioned my husband when he started carrying. I think most women do, if it's a change of habit or something new. My husband told me that he had simply come to understand that God had given me and our children to him and that our safety was his responsibility, not the cop's not anyone else's, his. And he was going to use all the tools he could. I listened, and thought long and hard about that discussion, then I went out and got my chl, because he wasn't always around and we had small children, so that meant our children's safety was my responsibility......
~Tracy
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oljames3
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#21

Post by oljames3 »

SewTexas wrote:I questioned my husband when he started carrying. I think most women do, if it's a change of habit or something new. My husband told me that he had simply come to understand that God had given me and our children to him and that our safety was his responsibility, not the cop's not anyone else's, his. And he was going to use all the tools he could. I listened, and thought long and hard about that discussion, then I went out and got my chl, because he wasn't always around and we had small children, so that meant our children's safety was my responsibility......
:iagree: SewTexas, your husband is my brother from another mother.
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Jketchum
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#22

Post by Jketchum »

My wife had zero experience with firearms before me. At first she was afraid of them, didn't want to touch them or really even see them. She never gave me a hard time though. Shortly after we got married the fear lifted enough for me to take her shooting, she was over the fear and admitted to enjoying shooting a little but still showed no interest. in 2008 i took my Chl class (i turned 21) i begged her to take the class with me, she didn't. She did like the fact that I offered a little bit of protection if something ever did go south.
Fast forward to 2016 and she now has her Ltc. Im still not certain what triggered her wanting a Ltc but im glad she has it. Now if I could just get her to carry everyday!
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SewTexas
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#23

Post by SewTexas »

oljames3 wrote:
SewTexas wrote:I questioned my husband when he started carrying. I think most women do, if it's a change of habit or something new. My husband told me that he had simply come to understand that God had given me and our children to him and that our safety was his responsibility, not the cop's not anyone else's, his. And he was going to use all the tools he could. I listened, and thought long and hard about that discussion, then I went out and got my chl, because he wasn't always around and we had small children, so that meant our children's safety was my responsibility......
:iagree: SewTexas, your husband is my brother from another mother.

I do love him. we go to the range together. I carry...on body. and I'm working on a couple of new carry options for women.

(I haven't been able to carry the last couple of weeks because I had a small procedure done on a finger, so I wouldn't be able to shoot if I needed to. but it's healing, I'll be able to carry and shoot again in a few more days.)
~Tracy
Gun control is what you talk about when you don't want to talk about the truth ~ Colion Noir
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allisji
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#24

Post by allisji »

Ryan wrote:My first wife was pretty anti-gun, and her WHOLE family was vehemently against guns. This is one of the many reasons the marriage didn't work.

I am remarried now, and before we even made it official that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we had a very long talk about the things that I/we would never give up. For me, it was my guns, my dogs, and my motorcycle. And if she was against them in any way, we need to end the relationship now before it goes any further. But thankfully, not only is she very pro-gun, but she has her LTC as well. And both of my in-law parents have their LTC, as well as my brother in law. So her entire family is very pro-gun.

If at all possible, this is something that should be addressed before the word marriage is even discussed. However, I'm well aware that some people have been married before LTC was even a "thing." And I have no words of wisdom for those of you in this situation. I just made sure on my current marriage that all of this was discussed before getting into something that was doomed to fail.
You're lucky she didn't ask you to sell off all of your tattoos. :biggrinjester:
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I have contacted my state legislators urging support of Constitutional Carry Legislation HB 1927

Ericjd0887
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#25

Post by Ericjd0887 »

My wife was reluctant at first about me getting my ltc. But she was ok with me purchasing the gun itself. I think the reason being is she probably feels like I'd carry just to be "cool" per say, but the decision into buying the gun and doing the class and all that was solely based on protection of me and mine. I have a daughter with another one on the way and my wife of course... She understands now, I think it's best to explain your side of it and why you are doing what you are doing. I've even asked her to get hers once she has our second child and is considering doing so. I think if you sit them down and show them exactly what Is going on in the world and explain your worries and safety issues, they will understand.
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allisji
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#26

Post by allisji »

MrMcCullster wrote:Whoops. I should have started the thread instead of hijacking that other one, but I'll go into more detail here.


We will see how she reacts to the carry situation when I get my plastic and start carrying on a regular basis. I honestly don't know how she will react when I tell her that I choose to not go places that have the .06 and .07 signs posted. I have no doubt she wants us and our 3 year old daughter to feel safe when we go out. I just hope that she comes around. I'll try to keep you guys posted. My plastic should be in the mail this week.
Just let her come around at her own pace. It will likely happen slowly and a little at a time.

I have a three year old son and we keep all of our guns locked up except the one that I'm carrying. My wife was not as opposed to it as yours. I took her to the range last year in September, but she really didn't care to shoot. She was scared to rack the slide on my pistols. I wanted her to at least know how to handle a gun and feel safe with it, but I knew that she wasn't going to let me teach her. For this reason I convinced her (several months later) to take a ladies only Basic Handgun course (from Charles Cotton). She was dreading the course, but ended up enjoying it alright, but only shooting .22 LR. After that she indicated that she may one day get her CHL. But she doesn't seem to want to while the kids are so young (3 and 1). Meanwhile I think that I probably need to start talking to my son about gun safety soon. He's too smart for his own good at this point, and I think that some of his little friends have already started "teaching" him some things about guns. So, he needs to learn it from me and not any 4 year old.

As far as how to handle 30.06 establishments, you will have to decide for yourself what to do. 30.07 probably shouldn't be a problem, since I'm assuming that you plan to CC.

I personally haven't had a problem with 30.06 at restaurants and stores, because there aren't very many 30.06 postings in my area. I'm sure though that if my wife's favorite restaurant was 30.06/30.07 that I would probably still take her there and just lock my gun in the car. Gotta weigh the risks. Getting attacked in a restaurant is less likely than when getting in/out of your car. Get a center-of-mass.com lockbox for under your carseat if you plan to leave your gun in the car. The common smash and grab crook won't get able to take it without cable cutters or something to pry the box open.

By the way I was proud of my wife last week. I bought a new gun (that she didn't want me to get). When I brought it home she wanted to see it. So I handed it to her and she dropped the magazine out and checked the chamber. I didn't have to remind her to check it.
LTC since 2015
I have contacted my state legislators urging support of Constitutional Carry Legislation HB 1927
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Ryan
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#27

Post by Ryan »

allisji wrote:
Ryan wrote:My first wife was pretty anti-gun, and her WHOLE family was vehemently against guns. This is one of the many reasons the marriage didn't work.

I am remarried now, and before we even made it official that we were boyfriend and girlfriend, we had a very long talk about the things that I/we would never give up. For me, it was my guns, my dogs, and my motorcycle. And if she was against them in any way, we need to end the relationship now before it goes any further. But thankfully, not only is she very pro-gun, but she has her LTC as well. And both of my in-law parents have their LTC, as well as my brother in law. So her entire family is very pro-gun.

If at all possible, this is something that should be addressed before the word marriage is even discussed. However, I'm well aware that some people have been married before LTC was even a "thing." And I have no words of wisdom for those of you in this situation. I just made sure on my current marriage that all of this was discussed before getting into something that was doomed to fail.
You're lucky she didn't ask you to sell off all of your tattoos. :biggrinjester:
She has plenty herself... I wasn't too worried about that ;-)
That was part of the initial attraction. I'm a sucker for a girl with tattoos.
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Skiprr
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#28

Post by Skiprr »

Confession time. If I haven't seen this Topic pop-up for several hours, I keep reading the title as, "When your Safety Officer has a different view..."

My subconscious is telling me to start shooting IDPA again. :shock:
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Re: When your SO has a different view...

#29

Post by rentz »

Skiprr wrote:Confession time. If I haven't seen this Topic pop-up for several hours, I keep reading the title as, "When your Safety Officer has a different view..."

My subconscious is telling me to start shooting IDPA again. :shock:
Or if your home is like mine the so is also the safety officer :biggrinjester:
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