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Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:56 pm
by Bitterclinger
With the CHL class fresh on my mind, I have to say the Non Violent Dispute Resolution (NVDR) section was an epic waste of time. I don't know how much latitude the poor instructor has over this, but I felt sorry for the guy at any rate. We were subjected to every pop-psych self-help fad I've ever heard of; everything from the (completely discredited) Elizabeth Kubler Ross stages of grief nonsense to the 1970's "I'm Ok, Your OK" Transactual Analysis. I would think the state would share some of the things it teaches troopers about this, but that's probably just newer hogwash.
IMHO, the best approach would be to avoid the theoretical and just nix the NVDR section altogether, but if they just can't do that, maybe use those two hours to watch "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure." It teaches dispute resolution, advanced planning, teamwork, ethics... and it's really really funny.
Be excellent to each other!
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 3:44 pm
by flechero
Bitterclinger wrote:With the CHL class fresh on my mind, I have to say the Non Violent Dispute Resolution (NVDR) section was an epic waste of time.
That's really unfortunate. That's the one part of my original class, some 10 years ago, that really sticks in my mind and has been applied on a number of different occasions!! Maybe I just had a great instructor? I left the class feeling like I was much better equipped to handle a bad situation. I remember thinking that everyone should have that class in school, never mind just people looking to get a CHL. I have used the knowledge since then, at work, with family, etc...
Where did you take your class?
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 3:47 pm
by anygunanywhere
So, you are going to respond to road rage situations the same as the road rager?
Just askin'
Anygunanywhere
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:37 pm
by Dragonfighter
I'm going out on a limb here and suggest the OP wanted practical how to scenarios vs. psycho babble. I am not a different person since my class than before my class, but that's me.
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:45 pm
by Keith B
It is required by DPS, but can be a waste if not done right. We teach the Parent-Adult-Child version of transactional analysis. It is IMO the best method and I have used it many times myself in resolving conflict with someone who is acting irrationally.
http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/ta.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 4:47 pm
by anygunanywhere
Dragonfighter wrote:I'm going out on a limb here and suggest the OP wanted practical how to scenarios vs. psycho babble. I am not a different person since my class than before my class, but that's me.
The OP used "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" as the alternative.
Please. Not very practical.
Maybe this was done tongue-in-cheek.
Personally I prefer "Animal House".
Of course I'm OK and so is the OP!
Anygunanywhere
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 6:38 pm
by TexasCajun
I found the non-violent dispute resolution section to be very informative, as I did the rest of the class. Of course it was taught in a more practical sense vs the theoretical. My instructor reviewed the penal code sections that authorize the use force, the use of deadly force, castle doctrine & then went into various "what to do if..." scenarios. Very useful, in my opinion. Prior to taking the class I had already started to try to modify my behavior (less agressive driving, ignoring the fact that my car has a horn, forgetting that I have 2 middle fingers, etc). But the information presented in the class drove that & a lot more home. I can honestly say that I'm better for it.
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:15 pm
by thatguy
I feel very strongly about educating CHLer's on NVDR in a practical sense, I have tried the theoretical sense and that is tough to do in two hours so here is my two cents worth...
1. We must understand that we have to be predisposed to use deadly force when necessary, this should be a sobering realization that I will pull out my gun and shoot another human being as many times at it takes with a brutal efficiency and a clinical detachment and this knowledge makes my heart hurt but do it I will to ensure the survivability of myself, my family and in a rare case, a third person.
2. It my sincere promise this will be done only as a last resort, it will not be about a parking spot, road rage or any other of the many frustrations that we all have to deal with. I will run away if possible, I don't "flip" people off or engage in anything that may escalate the situation.
I think that teaching NVDR is the hardest section to learn to teach but the most important IMO.

Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 7:56 pm
by couzin
Yep - take that deep breath, respond like an adult, don't respond in kind, and be a gentler soul. Worse situation I ever had was getting between a boyfriend/girlfriend having a midnight slap fest in a park and trying to get the drunken boyfriend to either go back to the camper or leave the park. She went to the camper cab and came out with a ball bat. He was wildly trying to punch my lights out and she was swing and miss. We were trained for those situations but it takes on new meaning when thrown in the middle of it...
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 8:18 pm
by sunny beach
Get a better instructor next time.
Nuff said.
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 8:35 pm
by StevenFromTexas
Keith B wrote:It is required by DPS, but can be a waste if not done right. We teach the Parent-Adult-Child version of transactional analysis.
I've taken too many of those CHL courses, and there just isn't any way to go through that part of the course without drinking a gallon of coffee and slapping one's face every few seconds. Utterly useless mumbo-jumbo written by a bunch of people with way too many degrees hanging on the wall behind their desks who don't have an ounce of common sense!

Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 8:38 pm
by Keith B
StevenFromTexas wrote:Keith B wrote:It is required by DPS, but can be a waste if not done right. We teach the Parent-Adult-Child version of transactional analysis.
I've taken too many of those CHL courses, and there just isn't any way to go through that part of the course without drinking a gallon of coffee and slapping one's face every few seconds. Utterly useless mumbo-jumbo written by a bunch of people with way too many degrees hanging on the wall behind their desk who don't have an ounce of common sense!

So how long have you had your license? And, I will tell you that knowing how to resolve conflict is an important topic for many. If you never have issues with conflict, then you are not the norm.
Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 8:46 pm
by carlson1
I also found and still find it very useful. Your Username is appropriate:
Bitterclinger

Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2013 8:52 pm
by StevenFromTexas
Keith B wrote:So how long have you had your license?
I'd have to look it up. I do know that three Lubbock police officers one morning many years ago had never seen one until they saw my permit.

Re: Non Violent Dispute Resolution
Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:20 am
by TexasGal
Teaching dispute resolution is vital. The way it's done appeals to some and bores others. Can't please everyone. Perhaps if it was early in the day when more people are awake?