Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

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03Lightningrocks
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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#181

Post by 03Lightningrocks »

flintknapper wrote:
03Lightningrocks wrote:[quote="KBCraigWould it be a pit bull with lipstick?


:biggrinjester:

Speaking of pit bulls. I don't guess i will ever understand your line of thinking. You were ready to hang a cop who shoots a dog that is threatening his child, but here you are defending a guy who pulled his weapon on a human being that simply gave him a push.

To which of us are you speaking?[/quote]

Your compatriot, but as the old saying goes. "If the shoe fits.....". It's really nothing personal or meant as an insult. I was just commenting that I don't understand the line of thought.
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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#182

Post by flintknapper »

03Lightningrocks wrote:
Speaking of pit bulls. I don't guess i will ever understand your line of thinking. You were ready to hang a cop who shoots a dog that is threatening his child, but here you are defending a guy who pulled his weapon on a human being that simply gave him a push.
I'm pretty sure the quote below is my only post on the subject:
If accurate, it is a sad commentary...and begs the question: If this man can not control his emotions concerning a soccer game, then how can he be expected to act appropriately when deciding to use (or not use) deadly force.

Time for him to "grow up".

If it turns out he was in the wrong, then other CHL holders should roundly condemn his actions. We must police our own, there is no room in the CHL community for "Hot Heads" .


I am curious how you arrived at the conclusion that I am "defending" this guy in any way?
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03Lightningrocks
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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#183

Post by 03Lightningrocks »

flintknapper wrote: I am curious how you arrived at the conclusion that I am "defending" this guy in any way?
I didn't say you were. But now that I looked at my post, I can see how it may have looked like I was referencing you and Mr. craig.

My appologies sir.

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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#184

Post by SlowDave »

KD5NRH wrote:
SlowDave wrote: Well, I'm not saying it, but as far as I can read, PC 9.31 a.2 and 9.31 b.4. are saying it.
"9.31
(a) Except as povided in Subsection (b), a person is justified in using force against another when.... [The use of force] is presumed to be reasonable if the actor:
<snip>
(a.2) did not provoke the person against whom the force was used and
...
(b) The use of force against another is not justified:
You conveniently skipped:
(b) The use of force against another is not justified:
(1) in response to verbal provocation alone;

Thus, verbal provocation does not legitimately provoke the use of force, and would not invoke (a)(2)
Good point. Just thinking this through out loud:
step 1: I yelled at someone (let's say)
step 2: they used force against me which was not justified by my verbal provocation alone
step 3: I used force against them which is justified by their use of force on me.

Hmm... I guess I'm sitting on maybe on that. Seems like their force was not *justified* by my verbal provocation, but maybe it could be ruled that I did still provoke them, in the merriam-webster sense (provoke: to incite to anger)? You may be right, but I'm not positive. Thanks for the insight.

And I didn't "conveniently" leave it out... I'm just not that smart. :???:

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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#185

Post by SlowDave »

mr.72 wrote:
SlowDave wrote: And I'd offer that if you are ripping on a coach of a kids sports team, maybe you should get a life.
If by "you", you mean me specifically, then you are barking up the wrong tree. Read some more of my posts.

If by "you" you mean the "collective you", then I still think you are wrong. If your kids are on a sports team, and you are paying for their participation, you are buying equipment and sacrificing time to get them there, then you have every right to expect the coach to treat them fairly. If you don't understand that, then you don't have any idea what you are talking about.
1. I was speaking to the "collective you."
2. I don't have any idea what I'm talking about. :coolgleamA:

Have a nice day.
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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#186

Post by Oldgringo »

:anamatedbanana Soccer is a passionate sport. :hurry:

:fire
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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#187

Post by Liberty »

mr.72 wrote:
Liberty wrote: To not not discuss these incidents is to overlook realistic scenarios and understandings on just how things can go wrong. If any of us ever find ourselves in the position of any of the these 3 major players perhaps we might have learned something from this to prevent things from going as wrong as they did here.
Here is the problem with this logic, Liberty-

The summary of most of the comments is like this:

1. The father, who was initially "yelling at the coach", is a complete jerk, a coward, an idiot, etc. You cannot learn from his behavior because these judgments only serve to separate his actions from those of normal people. So nobody on this forum is saying to themselves, "you know, I'm also a complete jerk, a coward, and an idiot. I should learn something from this situation". Instead everyone is saying, "oh I would never get into that situation, because unlike this guy, I am not a complete jerk, a coward, and an idiot".

2. The husband, who "shoved" the father, was justly defending his wife who was being mercilessly verbally abused by this cowardly jerk. Nevermind that his actions were not justified by law clearly by any of the evidence that has been made public, or that this same prejudice against the cowardly jerk seems to have permeated even the law enforcement people on the scene so the guy who actually committed an assault did not get charged (yet). So the normal, prejudice and assumption based position here only teaches us the lesson of "we can break the law sometimes by assaulting someone and get away with it, as long as we are defending a helpless woman, and the other guy happens to be a cowardly jerk". This is not the kind of lesson we need to be learning.

Anyway if the dad was such a coward, then the woman didn't need any help defending herself.

This whole situation is way too biased, and too many people are breaking their arms patting themselves on the back for how much better they are than the dad who was arguing with the coach. I can tell you from direct experience, arguing with the coach is routine in kids' sports, whether you want to admit it or not. Sure, maybe you are one of the parents who does not argue with the coach, and maybe you are right that the other parents shouldn't do it and it makes them look like a fool. But it still happens, with regularity, and people do it who are not cowardly jerks or otherwise those whom we can easily castigate. Most of the time they are just regular people who get too excited and emotional when they think their child has been treated unfairly, and most of the time they think the coach is the one on some kind of power trip trying to exercise some unfair advantage over certain kids for no good reason. Sometimes they are right, and the coach is the one who is the power-tripping jerk. So they get too excited and get in arguments, big deal?
My comment was in context of the value of the thread, and the suggestion of locking the thread. I personally didn't project myself into the scenario and I don't believe many were. There were some interesting components to this thread that I found thought provoking and interesting.
One fact that I found Interesting was the fact that legally (at least technically) drawing ones weapon is not deadly force it is simply force. and is no different than a push from a legal perspective.

I find it fascinating that childrens game could so quickly result in someone drawing their weapon. We talk about defusing these things and desculation in our CHL classes I believe that we have lost an oportunty here on discussions of how any of the partys could have deesculated this scene. BTW: I raised 2 boys and they never heard me raise my voice at another adult in public. This thread might serve as reminder to some who might excited during a childs game at a coach or a ref. Maybe someone reading this thread will think of it if ever confronted with a similar situation.

I also found it interesting that this could be a situation where one of the involved was legally correct, but morally completely out of line. A reminder that what is legal isn't always right.

BTW count me in among those who find screaming at a coach morally reprehensible, but I just don't find it has much to do with the thread at all.
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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#188

Post by Oldgringo »

Oldgringo wrote::anamatedbanana Soccer is a passionate sport. :hurry:

:fire
I was being facetious with the above but soccer is a passionate sport. Look what happens in soccer matches abroad.

That said, the 25 yr. old gun puller (Dad?) should have his CHL revoked and possibly face charges for assault with a deadly weapon. :nono: The coach and her husband should find something else to do on the weekends and the rest of y'all should "get a grip". :clapping:

Being a coach of youth sports is something we do because we think we can do it, better for our own kid/s /b], :grumble than someone else. It is not a popularity or Miss Congenialty contest. Been there, done that - without guns or fisticuffs!

'Nuff said - Burma Shave. :txflag:

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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#189

Post by poppo »

SlowDave wrote:I beg to disagree. I learned that if you start an argument, you have forfeited the right to defend yourself unless you first walk away from the encounter or at least announce that you intend to. That's very important, and I didn't know it before.
Well, I can see not much has changed opinion wise from the last time I checked this thread.

I agree with the above statement, however people seem to keep forgetting that the 1st argument was with the coach and yes, was started by the dad. However, the 2nd argument was started by the husband when he intervened. Therefore, IMO, no 'forfeiture of right to defend yourself without walking away' existed for the encounter with the husband. I see it as two separate issues. 1. the argument with the coach where the dad may have been being jerk. 2. The husband stepping in creating a separate issue where he initiated a seperate argument and ultimately an assault.

Let's look at this with the same conditions but a different scenario. I'm standing on the corner with my friend and we are having an argument over whatever. I'm doing all the yelling at this point. Some stranger sees this, comes up, starts arguing with me and assults me. Have I lost my right to defend myself from this stranger because I was initialy arguing with my friend and not the stranger? I think not.
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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#190

Post by 03Lightningrocks »

poppo wrote: Let's look at this with the same conditions but a different scenario. I'm standing on the corner with my friend and we are having an argument over whatever. I'm doing all the yelling at this point. Some stranger sees this, comes up, starts arguing with me and assults me. Have I lost my right to defend myself from this stranger because I was initialy arguing with my friend and not the stranger? I think not.

Not a valid argument at all. To be comparable, the situation would have to be as follows. Your having an argument with a female acquaintance. Your yelling at her when her husband walks up and has words with you. Missing segment at this point as we don't know what the exchange during this part was. Husband pushes you back to make some space and then you pull your gun out.

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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#191

Post by SlowDave »

poppo wrote:
SlowDave wrote:I beg to disagree. I learned that if you start an argument, you have forfeited the right to defend yourself unless you first walk away from the encounter or at least announce that you intend to. That's very important, and I didn't know it before.
Well, I can see not much has changed opinion wise from the last time I checked this thread.

I agree with the above statement, however people seem to keep forgetting that the 1st argument was with the coach and yes, was started by the dad. However, the 2nd argument was started by the husband when he intervened. Therefore, IMO, no 'forfeiture of right to defend yourself without walking away' existed for the encounter with the husband. I see it as two separate issues. 1. the argument with the coach where the dad may have been being jerk. 2. The husband stepping in creating a separate issue where he initiated a seperate argument and ultimately an assault.

Let's look at this with the same conditions but a different scenario. I'm standing on the corner with my friend and we are having an argument over whatever. I'm doing all the yelling at this point. Some stranger sees this, comes up, starts arguing with me and assults me. Have I lost my right to defend myself from this stranger because I was initialy arguing with my friend and not the stranger? I think not.
Well, I'm gonna disagree differently. :cool: I'm not looking to learn a lesson for exactly this same scenario, but more generally, so I remain of the opinion that I learned that if I start an argument, I have forfeited my right to defend myself unless I first walk away from the argument or at least announce my intention to do so. I have not learned necessarily exactly what to do if I yell at a female coach at a soccer match and then her husband comes up and pushes me and I'm wondering whether I should draw my weapon, but that's okay... I'm not a soccer fan anyway, so unlikely to happen. :biggrinjester:

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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#192

Post by SlowDave »

mr.72 wrote: Here is the problem with this logic, Liberty-

The summary of most of the comments is like this:

1. The father, who was initially "yelling at the coach", is a complete jerk, a coward, an idiot, etc. <snip>

2. The husband, who "shoved" the father, was justly defending his wife who was being mercilessly verbally abused by this cowardly jerk. <snip>

This whole situation is way too biased, and too many people are breaking their arms patting themselves on the back for how much better they are than the dad who was arguing with the coach. I can tell you from direct experience, arguing with the coach is routine in kids' sports, whether you want to admit it or not. Sure, maybe you are one of the parents who does not argue with the coach, and maybe you are right that the other parents shouldn't do it and it makes them look like a fool. But it still happens, with regularity, and people do it who are not cowardly jerks or otherwise those whom we can easily castigate. Most of the time they are just regular people who get too excited and emotional when they think their child has been treated unfairly, and most of the time they think the coach is the one on some kind of power trip trying to exercise some unfair advantage over certain kids for no good reason. Sometimes they are right, and the coach is the one who is the power-tripping jerk. So they get too excited and get in arguments, big deal?
So, let's go this way:
1. The dad was justly defending his kid from the tyrannical coach on a power trip by yelling at her but no contact (i.e. assault).
2. The husband, just for the sport of it, went over and shoved the dad because he's a male chauvinist pig.

So, I've flipped the tables on who's the "good" and "bad" guy, but I think all the facts still stand, and the proper reaction. Someone comes over and shoves you in that situation, you need to "de-escalate" the situation and walk away. I would argue that you are required to do this legally since you "incited anger" in the situation, not by yelling at him, but by yelling at his family member, but even if you are not legally required, good sense and judgement would indicate that backing away is more likely to result in a positive outcome than drawing a weapon. To the poster who said you didn't incite the husband since you didn't speak to him but rather his wife, I'd argue that you could incite someone by bashing in his car windshield with a baseball bat, so how much more easily could you incite him by yelling at his family member.

And don't worry, I will NEVER argue with you that arguing with the coach in kids' sports is not commonplace. And I wouldn't call them cowardly jerks, just judgement-impaired humans. However, I DO believe I can castigate them easily. Heck, I'm doing it right now. I may be right, I may be wrong, but I'm castigating like there's no tomorrow. :tiphat:

And now, here I sit with a broken arm from patting myself on the back, and am unable to beat even the small pieces of horse carcass into liquid. Dang it all. :evil2:

Have a wonderful day!

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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#193

Post by poppo »

03Lightningrocks wrote:
poppo wrote: Let's look at this with the same conditions but a different scenario. I'm standing on the corner with my friend and we are having an argument over whatever. I'm doing all the yelling at this point. Some stranger sees this, comes up, starts arguing with me and assults me. Have I lost my right to defend myself from this stranger because I was initialy arguing with my friend and not the stranger? I think not.

Not a valid argument at all. To be comparable, the situation would have to be as follows. Your having an argument with a female acquaintance. Your yelling at her when her husband walks up and has words with you. Missing segment at this point as we don't know what the exchange during this part was. Husband pushes you back to make some space and then you pull your gun out.
What difference does it make if the first person was a male, a female, the person's wife or another wife? None. It was simply person #1. And it doesn't matter who the second person was if they were not originally present and invlolved with the first 'conflict'. When person #2 whether it be a stranger or husband or whatever, comes along after the fact , that becomes a separate 'conflict' and I see no legal or common sense reason why a person would not be entitled to defend them self from the second person who initiated their own argument and initiated an assault.

Ok, try this one then. Someone gets into a minor parking lot fender bender. And argument starts over who was at fault. The husband of one of the people inolved happens to drive by and sees the argument. He 'comes to the rescue' of his wife and assults the other driver. According to your logic, you can't defend yourself from the guy because you didn't retreat from your argument with the person you had the fender bender with. Give me a break.

Some of you need to learn how to seperate chivalry from legality.
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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#194

Post by Oldgringo »

:tiphat: You do the math. How many 25 year old guys are going to go to their 7-8 year old son's soccer match? Huh? :totap:

Wasn't that what this thread was all about - a 25 year old guy pulling a gun during a soccer match for 7-8 year olds?

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Re: Soccer dad pulls gun on coach's husband - Lubbock

#195

Post by mr.72 »

That about sums it up.

Many of us (not including myself here) have no tolerance for a person who had a child when they were 18, attending a soccer match, and arguing with a coach. The fact that he pulled a gun is really only icing on the cake. I think many on this forum would have liked this guy to be in jail even if he had drawn a banana instead of a pistol. I think many on this forum might have even cheered on the husband to follow through with an assault including injury to the father.

I will point out, many dads won't go to their kid's soccer game period. Many dads are AWOL and don't have any meaningful relationship with their children. Many dads who are 18 when they father a child never even see their children.

Prejudices run pretty high, from what I can tell, with respect to this story.

I think it's a shame that the police didn't arrest the husband for assault. Man with gun = bad guy, everyone else = victim, right?
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