Getting CHL and Wife issue

[Abraham]

Carrying a gun can be a scary reminder that we live in a potentially violent world and some folks just don't want to admit it.

It's far more pleasant to deny it and live in the world of sugar plum fairies, rainbows, unicorns and gumdrops...

[MotherBear]

first off....most of these comments are going to get her off your back alright...and straight onto the couch. I take it you love her? and you want to protect her? and you feel that protecting her is probably one of your primary responsibilities? and you would die for her? so tell her that! then mention the church shooting, and various other crimes.

Please, don't do the whole "it's my right and darn it all you're not going to stop me" rant....'cause guess where that's going to land you?....

I carry everywhere it's legal to do so. My reasoning is that if I chose not to carry and something happened, I would spend the rest of my life kicking myself and wondering if there could have been a different outcome. Tell her you couldn't live with yourself if something happened to her or the kids that you might have been able to prevent. Carrying is my default mode. If I'm not carrying, I made a conscious decision not to. I don't ever want to second guess having made that decision.

I live in a safe area. Always have. I think the only crime I've ever been victim to was someone trying to steal my car out of the parking garage when I was in college. No one's ever hurt me or threatened me or anything like that. I have no reason to be worried, and I'm not. Doesn't stop me from carrying. It's just insurance.

I've also had some reminders that crime doesn't always limit itself to stupid things/stupid people/stupid places. Those things all increase your odds of encountering crime, but avoiding them doesn't guarantee you'll get off. In 2006, a lady from my church was shot in a random carjacking. She was in a safe area of town, middle of the day, doing nothing wrong. It was a miracle she didn't die. A few years ago she led a women's Bible study at the church and she shared her story during one of the meetings. Hearing it from her perspective really got me thinking about the possibility of something happening to me -- and I'd have my kids in the car and what would I do? I'm not saying everything would have been fine if she'd been carrying, but I figure anything that opens up my options is good. If you think it would do your wife any good, and you don't mind that it's part of a Bible study lesson, here it is: http://womensmediaplayer.hcbc.com/sermo ... stuff-1359" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; It starts about four minutes in, and she's a fun speaker.

[NordicTexan]

My wife doesn't know when I carry. I am very discrete about it and I have good equipment. If we are out, and she get nervous she always has to ask, " do you have it?" I pocket carry, IWB with a tucked in shirt, or kangaroo Carry.

Generally the concern goes away quickly, once you get used to it being concealed. Concealed means concealed, as long as it stays that way. AFter awhile, she has come to like the comfort that it brings knowing she can be defended. It doesn't hurt that her brother is one of my best friends and carrys all the time as well.

[couzin]

I got asked exactly the same question. My reply was similar to the above posts plus I was not going to start selectively carrying and have a day where I had forgotten my weapon in a moment of confusion or some situation arose that was not exactly 'planned' for. I also started pointing out news reports and other items of interest (IOIs) that made the idea of just being prepared and aware is not a pick and choose type of thing. Good luck - she just sounds a little nervous about the idea right now. It will pass as she just kinda forgets that you are armed.

[bayouhazard]

If you make fun of her for carrying lipstick everywhere or putting on makep to go to the grocery store, then consider this payback. on the other hand, if you don't make fun of her for things like that, maybe this is her way of asking you to.

I got my CHL as soon as I was eligible, so for women I date it's the way things always were. However, for your wife this is something new, and change is uncomfortable for some people. If she is worth keeping, you might want to look at this like a change management project that goes hand in hand with the CHL implementation project.

[JALLEN]

Don't forget to let her watch the testimony of Susan Gratia Hupp describing how she watched her parents murdered in Luby's while her pistol was in the glove box of her car where it was then required to be kept, while Senator Schumer looked like something he had for breakfast disagreed with him.

[The Annoyed Man]

Good points, thank you.

I plan to carry when I can, just don't want her snickering behing my back. I think once I carry for a couple of months she will forget about it and get used to it. She is all for me getting it don't get me wrong but don't think she understands the reason behind it.

Spouses who laugh at their spouse behind their backs have a long way to go in learning about respect and how to show love. I don't always agree with the way my wife chooses to do a thing, but I don't laugh at her about it, and I NEVER laugh at her behind her back. I have far too much respect for her.

Show her some of the stories on this very forum where men are married to women who disagreed with or mocked their desire to carry a firearm; and then later at a Walmart or something, the wife suddenly realizes that they are in some immediately impending danger and quickly asks the husband, "do you have your gun with you?" That usually puts paid to the mocking.

But seriously....... my ex-wife AND her mother used to make fun of me for various stupid reasons. The one I remember the most is mocking me for the way I walked. I have no idea why. Friends on this forum who know me will tell you that I have a perfectly normal walk, but my wife and MIL used to mock me for it. Note, I said EX-wife. My current wife of 25 years is a far better person than that.

[bayouhazard]

Don't forget to let her watch the testimony of Susan Gratia Hupp describing how she watched her parents murdered in Luby's while her pistol was in the glove box of her car where it was then required to be kept, while Senator Schumer looked like something he had for breakfast disagreed with him.

Technically, it may have also been illegal in the car back then.

[Purplehood]

I read the title of this thread and thought to myself, "What a remarkable coincidence...getting both a CHL and a Wife issued to you simultaneously. He must be Military".

[Shoot_First]

Why have a smoke alarm or fire extinguisher if your house is not going to catch fire? Why have jumper cables if your car will always start?

Actually, I had to compromise but not wearing my gun in the bed. You may laugh, but we were staying with a friends in Indiana and he wore his 1911 OWB all the time. We both got up at about the same time to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and he was wearing his pistol while in pajamas.

My wife is actually ok with my having a pistol in both her car and my truck, by my side end table in the family room, and pistols on both bedside nightstands along with a Mossberg 500 12 gauge tactical in the closet as well as me strapping on my 1911 every time I leave the house. No kids to worry about though.

[Cshuff21]

@ Purplehood....that just made me literally laugh out loud.

[Purplehood]

@ Purplehood....that just made me literally laugh out loud.

[G26ster]

Why have a smoke alarm or fire extinguisher if your house is not going to catch fire? Why have jumper cables if your car will always start?

Actually, I had to compromise but not wearing my gun in the bed. You may laugh, but we were staying with a friends in Indiana and he wore his 1911 OWB all the time. We both got up at about the same time to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and he was wearing his pistol while in pajamas.

My wife is actually ok with my having a pistol in both her car and my truck, by my side end table in the family room, and pistols on both bedside nightstands along with a Mossberg 500 12 gauge tactical in the closet as well as me strapping on my 1911 every time I leave the house. No kids to worry about though.

I'm not posting this in disagreement, but simply as an observation. That said, I'll put my flame suit on anyway

Everyone on this planet has a different view of what they are willing to do to keep safe. Just because someone does not have the desire to carry 24/7 does not mean they are fundamentally different than those that do. People do what falls within their personal level of what is enough. One may carry 24/7 to "keep me and my family safe" from human and animal attackers because they are "comfortable" with doing so. In fact, to some it seems, a CHL is almost a "hobby." Those same folks however still allow their family to drive, fly, go boating, swim in lakes and oceans, ski, motor bike, climb mountains or rock faces, etc. and participate in all sorts of activities that have dangers involved. Not that they don't take precautions, but to really keep them and their families safe they shouldn't/wouldn't do it at all if they truly want to be out of danger. But not participating in the activities they enjoy is not an acceptable level of risk prevention in their personal opinion, so they choose to do so. It is the same for those not willing to carry 24/7, and/or constantly be in a mode of assessing "threat levels" or otherwise always looking over their shoulder or being on the alert for 30.06 signs, or constantly arming and disarming if they work or have to visit prohibited places frequently. There are passive modes of prevention (fire extinguisher on hand, smoke detectors, jumper cables as mentioned) and active modes of prevention (carrying 24/7, constantly assessing alert levels, arming and disarming several times daily, etc.) Each person makes the personal decision on what has an acceptable level of participation that fits within their comfort zone. Carrying 24/7 only addresses one area of threat/danger to one's life and the lives of their family, but those same people may be quite unwilling to give up certain activities they enjoy, or perceive a need to participate in, in order to keep them and their families safe. No different than someone unwilling to carry 24/7 if they find it interferes with their lifestyle IMHO.

[Cedar Park Dad]

I am getting my CHL and my wife asked me the other day, "Are you going to carry your gun with you all the time?" My response to her was that yes I planned on carrying when I am able to. She kinda laughed and made fun and said "so when you go to the store or anywhere you are taking your gun with you?" I said absolutely! But I get the feeling she is making fun and doesn't think it is necessary. What is a good way to make her realize that if you have your plastic you should carry all the time?

It helps when your wife carries too.

Also am I the only one who saw the title and thought "wait I didn't get a new wife issued when I got me CHL..."

[Abraham]

G26ster,

No flames from me.

I carry "most" of the time, when it's practical for me, but not at home.

Since it's just my wife and I, I have quick access to firearms if the need arises, but I'm not going to the discomfort of carrying a pistol on me while reading or whatever.