family gun issue (long)

[Braden]

Here's my thoughts.

First of all, with all due respect, I think you should throw the letter out the the window and quit having conversations with your sister through your mom. I believe much more could and would be accomplished if you'd just go over to their house, sit down and have dinner with them and talk it out face to face. A little "face time" will accomplish much more than any letter will and it will DEFINITELY accomplish more than talking it out "through the grapevine" (ie., your mother). Forgive me if that's a little blunt, but my younger sisters do the same thing and it really bothers me. If they have a problem with something I do, instead of talking to me about it they tell my mom (keep in mind that we're all adults...not kids).

Second, it really is their choice since it's their home. If you can't come to some sort of an agreement then YOU have a choice...either abide by their rules or stay somewhere else.

I really think you should go and talk to them in person though.

[Crossfire]

I really think you should go and talk to them in person though.

Oh yeah, 100%. I know it's tough, but this is your family. They don't need a formal letter - they need a conversation. Good luck to you.

[Venus Pax]

I already sent the letter.
I can't just go over there and talk to them, as they live near Dallas, and I live near Houston. My sister did call my mom & apologize for not going straight to me.
I did end up handwriting the letter and sending it through the mail. I thought it better suited my personality (as opposed to a typed letter or e-mail). My family members are all used to getting written correspondence from me, as I send notes and cards every so often through snail mail. I also send everyone (even my parents) thank you cards after Christmas and birthday for my gifts. I know people think it's extreme, but I like for them to know I'm grateful.
I see where the written correspondence may seem odd to most people, but it shouldn't strike my sister and bil as odd, since they are used to getting written cards and letters from me.
You all have been so much help to me. You have either encouraged or corrected me during this past several days, and I'm so thankful for it. I really took it hard when I heard it, and I needed people that understood "the armed person's mindset" to talk to me.
After sending the letter, I feel as if I've been released from it all. In my past experiences, this kind of peace comes from God to tell me I did the right thing.
If anything more comes of it, I'll let you know.

[seamusTX]

Letters are a time-honored method of reconciliation. They give the recipient the opportunity to reflect before replying, unlike a face-to-face conversation or e-mail.

I trust you will all come to an agreeable compromise (is there any other kind?).

You might want to start compiling an Armed Citizen file that shows how responsible gun owners deal with unpredicatable criminal attacks. Try to present it in a way that is not frightening to your relatives.

- Jim

[Venus Pax]

I think I'm going to do that seamus. I'm not going to pull out articles in the file until THEY bring up the subject, which they inevitably will.
Thanks for posting that. It was on my mind, but your suggestion convinced me that it's a good idea.

[isa268]

you can start by going here.

Citizens Defend Themselves With Guns

Just Dial 911? The Myth of Police Protection


Raging Against Self Defense: A Psychiatrist Examines The Anti-Gun Mentality

The Racist Roots of Gun Control

THE REAL REASON FOR GUN OWNERSHIP

That church shooting

GunCite gun control and Second Amendment issues

[sparx]

You might want to start compiling an Armed Citizen file that shows how responsible gun owners deal with unpredicatable criminal attacks. Try to present it in a way that is not frightening to your relatives.

An interesting way to start my mornings is by visiting the Civilian Gun Self-Defense Blog, where I catch up on the usually one to three instances reported from around the country the day before in which armed citizens defend themselves from criminals and the crimes they were attempting to commit. There's occasionally a reference to where the GG didn't win, but those are odds I'll take anyday. Of course not every gun owner reported on is someone I would consider "responsible" either, but I haven't read a single instance of an armed citizen that stopped a crime mention they wish they didn't have a gun!

In a way the site is similar in content to the NRA-ILA's Armed Citizen (which isn't as easy to view on the web chronologically since the events are filed by state), but since I read those when the magazine comes anyway, this gives me something to glance at while waiting for the coffee to finish brewing.

[Venus Pax]

I've been going through the links from those last two posts. Those are some really good articles. I started printing for my file, but my printer ran low on ink. I'll try to swing by Wal-Mart today and get more ink so that I can continue working on it.
To anyone who's interested, those articles are really good, and worth reading. Some are lengthy, so you may need to return to them.
Thanks, guys!

[seamusTX]

Venus, you may have already thought of this: If you focus on the articles about women defending themselves and their families, your step-sister will be able to identify with them.

Many self-defense stories involve situations that she would not be in, and she could dismiss them.

- Jim

[Roger Howard]

Venus Pax I know where you are coming from. My wife was anti gun when we met. 6 years of marriage to me and she is coming around. I have actually gotten her shooting. She now understands. I hope to get her a chl in the near future. Guess I'll have to buy her a new pistol when I do.

[longtooth]

Buying her a pistol is more fun than buying you own. 37 yr of marriage so I know.

[Venus Pax]

I always change my methods depending on who I'm talking to. I will focus on self-defense from the female and mother's perspective when dealing with my sister.
Who knows... she may want to go gun shopping one day. She's a bit of a diva, so I may have to keep her from basing her purchase on which one matches her outfit. (Fortunately, they stay concealed, so we don't have to worry about that.)

[TC-TX]

venus - I think is has been stated here very well..

RESPECT and EDUCATION.

Respect their decision and they will grow to respect yours through education.

It takes time.

At the same time, I choose to avoid places I am not 'allowed' to carry at all cost. It is a choice.

I do not frequent homes where legal CCW is non grata... The same is true for other places where I must conduct business and spend time and money.

I have no issue letting folks know WHY I choose to avoid certain places. It has led to many constructive convesations and changes in attitude. I have found most resistance is based in misconception and misunderstanding.

Education is a good thing. Let me know if you need any assistance in assembling persuasive points of discussion, presented in a non-threatening, informative and pleasing manner.

Good luck with your family.