SlowDave,One more question: you say that "each are excellent guns" of the M&P, XD, and Glock. Would you not make the same statement about the Ruger? (I would, up to this point, as I have nothing against them.)
I truly have nothing against any gun that functions. I am pleased there are so many choices. We all have our preferences and a chance to find the one that works best.
My preference is for the standard size M&P9. I have them all - all sizes and calibers. I don't care for safeties as they aren't needed if you follow the three safety rules. However, I can understand her concern when there are children in the house. I have a woman student that had the same concerns. My suggestion to her was to get a personal gun safe form Academy and keep the gun in it fully loaded and ready to go. I went so far as to suggest, if she had the funds, to put one in all the major rooms in her home so she would a gun available to her and safe from her children.
LIMP WRIST OR UPPER BODY
I believe that a gun that is easy to shoot and fits your hand well will make it easier to shoot well. Your friend needs to be encouraged to keep tension across her shoulders and down through her arms and wrists. Tell her she need to be aggressive and lean into her gun. Make sure that she is completing every shot! By this I mean getting a sight picture AFTER every shot. It is very important that she doesn't look for her hits on the target until she is completely done shooting and the gun is put down or holstered. Looking at your target for the hits before completing the shot will lead to relaxing too soon and so limp wristing.