Situation that almost made me think of pulling weapon...

[XDSConcealer]

First, let me start off by saying I haven't had my CHL long (almost 1 month) but the things I learned in my classes, research and topics on this site really made me think about the following situation differently than I would have perhaps 5 years ago.

Last night I was driving home from the airport having dropped off family that was in town visiting. It was about 8pm so not too late. I was driving into my suburb community and in a rush I followed a truck a little too close to make a turn before a string of cars would have required me to stop for a while. Stupid I know but I think we can honestly say that we've all been there when we want to just get home.

At any rate, the truck in front of me abruptly stops and pulls over. At first I thought it was someone not familiar with the area and just pulled over to let traffic go by. He was going about 10 mph under the speed limit so I honestly thought this was the case. I went by and he immediately peeled out and got right on my bumper. Had I applied the brakes, he would have been inside my car as I have a sports car and the truck he had was a F250 with a 6 inch lift and huge tires. He followed me turn for turn as I didn't want to go home and risk showing this lunatic where me and my family lives. He must had followed me all over the community for almost 10 minutes and it was clear that he wanted a confrontation. Now in my youth I probably would have stopped the car, and gotten into something but I'm almost 40 and I had no idea who was in the truck, how many people there might have been, were they armed themselves? Who knew, and I wasn't going to put myself in that situation.

After driving around for almost 10 minutes and not seeing any of the Constables that patrol my neighborhood (never around when you need them) I pulled over and hoped they would just drive by and scream obscenities and give me a few hand gestures. Unfortunately, they stopped as well, got out of their car and came screaming up at my window. It was clear he had been drinking so now I knew the kind of mentality I was dealing with. Without getting out of the car or opening the window I apologized for upsetting him and just allowed him to scream at me and call me every nasty insult in the book. When he was far enough back that I wouldn't run over anything I took off quickly, made a few evasive turns and went home.

I did get his license number and gave it to the Constables as a FYI for them in case anything else happened that evening. They asked if I wanted to press charges for the threats and I indicated I didn't because I just didn't want to escalate and make a big deal of the incident. The Constable asked me if I feared for my life (as part of the report I did indicate I had a CHL) and I told him I wasn't going to let the situation get to the point that I felt I needed to pull my weapon. We got into a brief discussion that he appreciated the approach I took and said that if there is a next time I should call 911. I thought about it but I just didn't think to grab my phone while I was driving around trying to get this guy to stop following me.

I wanted to share this story as a way to illustrate to the new CHL's out there (myself included) that it's better to let the other person feel like they won the battle and are the bigger person then escalate things to the point that I make a life altering decision. To be honest, for a brief moment when I saw the guy get out of his truck, I had my hand on my gun. I did fear for my safety. I probably shouldn't have stopped but I didn't get the sense that he was ever going to stop chasing me around. He needed to puff out his chest and feel like a tough guy and I let him. I have played this whole situation over and over again in my head and thought of all the things I should have and should not have done. You never know what you're going to do once you get into a situation but one thing was clear during this entire event, I wanted to make sure I got out of it safely and not having to unholster my gun. I was successful on both counts so I would say the training, classes and self education worked. We have a greater responsibility to try and defuse hostile situations. Like I stated before, 5 years ago I probably would have escalated this because I would want to save face. I didn't like being called some of the things he said to me but again I had the greater responsibility to make sure this situation didn't get out of hand.

The stressful time of year is upon us and tempers will run short. Remind yourselves of the greater responsibility we have as CHL holders and stay safe.

God Bless my friends and get out and vote!

[AJHutton]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Glad that you were able to diffuse the situation and it turned out OK.

[XDSConcealer]

Thanks for sharing your experience. Glad that you were able to diffuse the situation and it turned out OK.

Thanks. I certainly wish I could have done things differently but isn't that always the case? I don't know if I diffused the way I should have but allowing him to yell and pound on the door frame allowed him to feel tough. I did apologize for what ever set him off but I really had no interest in staying there any longer than I needed to. Some might think taking off was cowardly but better to leave the situation then make it worse.

[RPBrown]

It is good that you were able to restrain yourself. Like you, in my youth it may have been a different story.

The only thing I think could have been done any differently would have been to call 911 while he was following you. This may have ended the situation quickly. A lot of times (and has been in several posts here) if they see you get on the phone, they will drop off. If not then be prepared.

[Jim Beaux]

It is good that you were able to restrain yourself. Like you, in my youth it may have been a different story.

The only thing I think could have been done any differently would have been to call 911 while he was following you. This may have ended the situation quickly. A lot of times (and has been in several posts here) if they see you get on the phone, they will drop off. If not then be prepared.

Definitely call 911. If it doesnt scare the jerk off, it just may support your case of being a victim.

[WildBill]

It is good that you were able to restrain yourself. Like you, in my youth it may have been a different story.

The only thing I think could have been done any differently would have been to call 911 while he was following you. This may have ended the situation quickly. A lot of times (and has been in several posts here) if they see you get on the phone, they will drop off. If not then be prepared.

Definitely call 911. If it doesnt scare the jerk off, it just may support your case of being a victim.

[SRH78]

Avoiding violence when possible isn't cowardly. It is good judgement. I definitely second the idea of calling 911, if for no other reason than to help establish yourself as the victim should things escalate. In my situation, the police station is close to the house. I would have called 911 and headed to the station. He would be less likely to pursue a violent resolution there. And it would likely end better if they could have an officer or 2 greet the individual upon arrival.

[Keith B]

It is good that you were able to restrain yourself. Like you, in my youth it may have been a different story.

The only thing I think could have been done any differently would have been to call 911 while he was following you. This may have ended the situation quickly. A lot of times (and has been in several posts here) if they see you get on the phone, they will drop off. If not then be prepared.

Definitely call 911. If it doesnt scare the jerk off, it just may support your case of being a victim.

And, drive to a populated area like a busy Quick Stop or other venue where there are witnesses. Make sure you are close enough to them they see what is happening to cooberate your story to the police as well as hopefully get the person to stop their aggression.

[TexasCajun]

Can't really find fault with the sequence of events since you ultimately kept your head & got out of the situation without hurting the other guy or getting hurt yourself. And I'll admit that as I read your narrative, it didn't occur to me to call the cops until you mentioned not finding any constables nearby. Of course at that point I'm all "call 911 & head to a convenience store or other populated area". I guess my hindsight even works for other people's situations too! But it does bring to mind one of the more prominent points from my chl class: just because I can doesn't mean that I should.

[Robert*PPS]

I agree with the hindsight "call 911" crowd, but having failed to call 911 myself when my wife and I walked in on a burglar, I cannot judge. All my attention was on where he was and where my wife was, and the fact that I had NO weapons on hand. She, however, did have the frame of mind to call 911.

[SewTexas]

sounds like it worked, I'm not sure I'd stop like that, it could have been dangerous, but it worked that time.

I have heard of someone in that situation taking their weapon out and laying it on their lap so the guy yelling at the window sees it and leaves. It worked. I'm not sure I would do that, either.
I'm lucky in that I live across the street from the police station...911 and "I'm on my way"! Never had to do it, but it's my plan and what I've taught my daughter. Actually, anyone who knows the area wouldn't follow me into the parking lot One time I got to feeling like I was being followed, so instead of heading to the house, I drove down the next street where a police officer lives, he drives his police car home, as we got to his house I slowed down and acted like I was pulling in behind his car, the car following me sped up and pulled around me like a shotgun I drove around the block home

[jayinsat]

Thanks for sharing. I learned from your experience and all the following advice. Love this forum.

[XDSConcealer]

Thanks everyone! I keep playing last night over and over and I'm kicking myself for not calling 911 but between trying to read the license plate in my rear view mirror, keeping an eye on the guy behind me as well as keeping an eye on the road in front of me I was using a lot of my mental capacity.

I also should have driven to the gas station that was nearby but in the situation I was more focused on keeping things from getting to the point of having to defend myself. I also shouldn't have stopped but given that he was on my a** for 10+ minutes I just saw him as following me all night. I thought better to pull over and let him vent and get it out of his system then risk getting others involved. Plus the last thing I wanted to do was head home. That would have put me in protect my wife and kids mode and it would have ended badly.

I live in a community of approx. 3,500 homes and if this guy lives nearby I wonder if I'll run into him again. I'm hoping he realizes now that the alcohol has worn off what an idiot he was so it won't be an issue, but if he's just an a*****e by nature it makes me wonder if our paths shall cross again.

Thanks again for the kind words, it's much appreciated!

[Jumping Frog]

Most of your actions I give a big thumbs up.

Everyone else has played the "Dial 911" card, so I'll shift gears.

In my opinion, it is not a wise choice to stop the car, period.

There is too much risk that someone can pile out of the vehicle, approach the car, and then break the window before you can even react. First chance you have to react might be a club or knife in your face. Looking at risk:reward, there is too much downside for negligible upside when stopping the car.

[Divided Attention]

I just finised reading "Facing Violence" by Rory Miller. This situation reminded me a lot of things from this book - I recommend it to everyone, I came away with a lot of great thoughts and information. "It is better to avoid than to run, better to run than de-escalate, better to de-escalate than to fight, better to fight than to die." I agree you should have called the police, but kudos for not allowing him to suck you into what likely would not have ended so well.