I was in Target yesterday and nature was callin' so I ducked into the bathroom, thankfully at the time it was empty. I ducked into the stall at the far end of the bathroom and immediately stopped. I have a fully loaded SR9 on my belt, and need to make with El Numero Dos. What to do, what to do? Eventually, in order to keep the holster from flopping about without anything to stabilize it on my belt, I unbuckled my belt, held the ends of it against my jeans, and unbuttoned, then slid the whole affair down in one go, maintaining tension on the belt. Got my pants down with a little creativity but no real trouble, so far so good.
Enter the maintenance guy, sweeping up the bits of paper towel and TP on the floor. At that I tensed up; his attention was on the stuff lying on the floor, and at that point my holster and gun were probably visible to anyone looking under the stalls. I shifted position to try and reduce my weapon's visibility, and in doing so banged the butt against the toilet with a loud "Clunk!"
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Well, crap. No pun intended. The maintenance guy just said something along the lines of "dang, dude, what have you been eating?"
Humiliating, but I suppose that's the lesser of two evils...
So, I go about my business and use the same procedure as before to bring my pants, belt, and gun up without any issue, and rejoin my wife in the store. As fate would have it, in a relatively crowded aisle, my dear wife bursts out "Sweetie, are you okay? You spent an awful long time in the bathroom!"
At this point I figure I have four options. Either broadcast I was trying to figure out how the heck to go to the bathroom with a gun in my pants, announce that I was ill (and in doing so probably ensure that the restroom remained vacant for a while...), pretend I didn't know my wife and look at her like she was crazy, or continue praying that the ceiling would collapse at that moment, distracting everyone. No such luck on the latter, and I knew better than to embarrass my wife in public, so the only real choice here was to embarrass myself. Points to the lady for the assist, though!
So, ladies and gents, what's the procedure when you've got your gun on your belt and need to make a run for the potty?