Visiting friends' homes

[No Bama Man]

I would just tell him that if he wants to visit, it would have to be at my place as I am not coming over unarmed.

Purplehood,
I said that but it will be impossible to never go over there, my daughter does live there and in the future grandchildren may be in the picture as well. I'm kind of over a barrel on this because he has my daughter.

[No Bama Man]

Just bragging but I just upgraded my NRA membership to Life status!

[joe817]

What does the daughter think of his illogical position? She has a say so in the relationship too. I hate family confrontations more than anything, but his attitude is just not acceptable.

[seamusTX]

You could take a diplomatic approach and tell him that he is a fool and a gutless coward.

Seriously, adult offspring are going to go their own way, and you just have to adapt in whatever way your principles will allow.

P.S.: If the guy were thinking rationally (which he may not be capable of) he would realize that whatever danger he thinks would come from your being armed in his home would also exist if he is in your home or anywhere else when you are armed. What is he going to "think" when the grandkids come along?

- Jim

[Mithras61]

You could take a diplomatic approach and tell him that he is a fool and a gutless coward.

I always preferred "pusillanimous pisant" but I'm a Heinlein fan...

[Purplehood]

I would just tell him that if he wants to visit, it would have to be at my place as I am not coming over unarmed.

Purplehood,
I said that but it will be impossible to never go over there, my daughter does live there and in the future grandchildren may be in the picture as well. I'm kind of over a barrel on this because he has my daughter.

I would stick with my statement above. He has options:

- never visit you and look like a horses patootie.
- visit you and not look so bad.
- let you visit his house with your weapon.

It is not like you shut him out, you simply agreed to his wishes and advised him that visits would have to be at your place or a neutral location. Regardless of age, I would never let my children dictate to me. Your daughter will either pressure him to modify his position or not, it is up to her.

[No Bama Man]

You could take a diplomatic approach and tell him that he is a fool and a gutless coward.

Seriously, adult offspring are going to go their own way, and you just have to adapt in whatever way your principles will allow.

- Jim

Jim hit the nail on the head. I did tell him he was an idiot and that if something happend to my daughter he may could have prevented he would have to answer to me. That being said, I'm a hostage now and I really have no choice but to adapt as best I can just as Jim said.

[lonewolf]

Like it or not, he is within his rights to request you don't carry in his home. Even if your daughter says "OK", if they are both on the lease/paperwork/whatever, it can be presumed he has given you verbal notice.

Discuss it with your daughter, not the goober. He has made his position plain, and she probably isn't even aware of it. If its a good relationship, she gets a say in the decision as well. Personally, I don't think you have too much to worry about. Your daughter knows you carry, she knows you are responsible, and my guess is that it'll work out one way or the other. I just wouldn't go vist. Not until it was cleared up.

Or you could just tell him that since you aren't welcome in his home because you carry, he is not welcome in yours because he is:

1. Provincial
2. Uneducated
3. Misinformed
4. Closeminded
5. Inconsiderate
6. Rude to potential father in law (never good scenario)
7. Not good enough for your daughter
8. Scratched your furniture
I'm sure there are many other things that can be added to the list, but this is a quality forum with high standards.

Be safe out there!

[No Bama Man]

I would stick with my statement above. He has options:

- never visit you and look like a horses patootie.
- visit you and not look so bad.
- let you visit his house with your weapon.

It is not like you shut him out, you simply agreed to his wishes and advised him that visits would have to be at your place or a neutral location. Regardless of age, I would never let my children dictate to me. Your daughter will either pressure him to modify his position or not, it is up to her.

As angry as this made me which I made evident to the both of them it is his and hers house and I must honor their wishes which will mean I'm not visiting their house very much and it has hurt mine and his relationship. As unacceptable as I feel this situation is it does not rise to the level of forcing my daughter to choose him or me. I cant do that to her. Not on this anyway.

[The Annoyed Man]

I would just tell him that if he wants to visit, it would have to be at my place as I am not coming over unarmed.

Purplehood,
I said that but it will be impossible to never go over there, my daughter does live there and in the future grandchildren may be in the picture as well. I'm kind of over a barrel on this because he has my daughter.

But any man who would force a break in the relationship between a father and his daughter is no kind of man - unless there is something really unhealthy and abusive involved between father and daughter. That is patently not the case in your situation. It really boils down to this: how wise is your daughter? She may eventually come to see that her fiance (hopefully future husband) is being a putz and put her foot down. After all, she was OK with your being armed when she lived in your home, wasn't she?

When is the wedding?

[No Bama Man]

But any man who would force a break in the relationship between a father and his daughter is no kind of man - unless there is something really unhealthy and abusive involved between father and daughter. That is patently not the case in your situation. It really boils down to this: how wise is your daughter? She may eventually come to see that her fiance (hopefully future husband) is being a putz and put her foot down. After all, she was OK with your being armed when she lived in your home, wasn't she?

When is the wedding?

You are exactly right.

The wedding was March...now I think it is May. They are waiting for the perfect time which I tell them will never come. He is a Bridezilla! He is like 34 325 pounds of wimp and she is 27 130 pounds of beauty, so I'm not dealing with children. He called a while back because he had shorted out a circuit in his house and had no idea what to do! No idea of how a circuit breaker works or what a breaker box is.

[lonewolf]

I almost posted something totally inappropriate, and I apologize.

I am, however, feeling a little better about my daughter's boyfriend, Skippy the Cave Troll. The boy (19) is trying hard with the brains he has, so I have to give him some credit, and he shows me the utmost respect and consideration. In turn, I give him some respect.

I wish you luck with your current situation and hope all works out well for you and your daughter. In the meantime, I suspect you'll be getting more of the clogged drain, tripped breaker, leaking faucet type calls. That puts you in a difficult situation. You want to help your little girl, but not him. He's already asking for your help but was even quicker to let you know you weren't welcome if carrying.

[No Bama Man]

I almost posted something totally inappropriate, and I apologize.

I am, however, feeling a little better about my daughter's boyfriend, Skippy the Cave Troll. The boy (19) is trying hard with the brains he has, so I have to give him some credit, and he shows me the utmost respect and consideration. In turn, I give him some respect.

I wish you luck with your current situation and hope all works out well for you and your daughter. In the meantime, I suspect you'll be getting more of the clogged drain, tripped breaker, leaking faucet type calls. That puts you in a difficult situation. You want to help your little girl, but not him. He's already asking for your help but was even quicker to let you know you weren't welcome if carrying.

Lonewolf,
Thanks for the wish of good luck, I will need it, and I'm glad my lousy situation makes you feel better about your not so lousy situation. Really he is kind of ok, but thats all, to me anyway. What kills me is the look in her eyes when looking at or thinking about him. I would never have picked him out for her in a million years...go figure.

[lonewolf]

I would never have figured the wonderful woman I married would have chosen me, either. Kind of weird how some things work out. At least Skippy hasn't popped the question to my daughter yet. I figure he's waiting until he has a job and she is out of high school. At least I hope so, or my reaction is going to be less than ecstatic.........

[Hammer]

I guess I will be the only dissenter among the bunch. I very much understand the carry 24/7 now that I have had my CHL for a while. At first I never intended to carry that much and once I started I do feel naked without it. However, I do not feel 'naked' in my own home or that of friends and family. Carrying a loaded weapon, especially in our overly sensitive society, is not really understood. And lets get real, it is NOT like carrying a book, newspaper, knife or even 'underwear' into someones home. Those items do not have the potential to harm someone to the level that a loaded weapon does....if they did....then why do we need a CHL to carry a gun...hell....just carry a newspaper around....right...?? So lets get honest about the over sensitivity of our society and our own friends and family.

Simply put...it is a matter of courtesy. Plain and simple. I hope as 'CHL guys' (and gals) we never feel so naked without our pistol that we can 'never' take it off???? We cannot carry (legally) into bars, certain public venues, sporting events, schools, universities, hospitals-where I do some of my work, amusement parks, or ANY location that has the legally posted 30.6 sign (or it is criminal trespass), work etc.... So what is the big deal about not carrying it one more place...especially when it shows respect, courtesy, and sensitivity to others.

I am a gun advocates through and through...my family are gun advocates through and through...and I have better gun disciplines than ANYONE I know....and the first thing I do when I get to my own home is lock my gun in my small, 5 digit pistol safe (on sale for only $29.99 at the Sportsmansguide.com-see below link - by the way they have GREAT deals on shoes and boots):

http://shop.sportsmansguide.com/net/cb/ ... 00688&pn=1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

that is beside my bed - loaded of course - (with 99,999) possible combinations I feel relatively assured that my kids nor anyone else will not 'get lucky'). I take off my gun when I go into friends houses anyway...just out of respect AND accidents DO happen. Why take the chance, especially in places where you are the most safe and less threatened. I feel way more 'naked' removing it from the above mentioned locations than I do at home or at a friend's or family members home. I do carry in church but when I teach in the children's sunday school, I do not. Not that I feel careless, but kids are unpredictable and lets face it...parents would freak out.

And I beg you all to consider this... if ANY of us ever feel that we are a: above an accident, b: above the law...I hope you will really take the time to consider why you have your CHL. I sense that in certain situations the CHL has become more about my/our gun rights than about safety, security and sensitivity to others. Now if it is legal and (and not such a brazen action of dis-repect) then sensitivity be damned and 'they' can just deal with it. But our responsibilities as good citizens, good friends and good FAMILY members requires a level of respect and courtesy.

If you feel the need to have a weapon to defend yourself 24/7 then definitely keep your weapon where it is legal and safe to carry and when not....take ju-jit-su...it is what I do.

So if we feel comfortable, or we are lawfully abiding citizens - which as CHL'ers we should be setting the bar for others - then it is really not that big of a deal. I understand the need to protect our rights as gun owners and that is what other venues are for...we do not have to make our stand with friends and family.

If you don't like the idea of dis-arming at your own house or a friend's or family members house...I can't say that I 'completely' understand that....but I am 'down' with it. Different experiences and philosophies guide each and every one of us...and I would much rather be able to carry in the locations mentioned above...where we are prohibited...I mean that is where WE need to carry the most (psychos, deviants, and socio-paths go to churches, schools, government buildings and amusement parks - those are target rich environments for them-, -stupid drunk people to race tracks, sporting events, criminals wait for you in parking lots after concerts at Nokia, Fair Park etc...) and these are the very places I can't carry.

So ask yourself if you are over compensating by carrying in ALL places that you can. Let's not forget to be respectful and courteous. I once asked a Texas State Trooper if I should always present my CHL plastic when being pulled over, etc... EVEN if I am NOT carrying - which by law I do NOT have to- and he said..."well legally you don't have to...but it is a simple matter of courtesy and respect."

I hope I presented good thoughts...it is definitely NOT my intention to offend ANY of my fellow CHL'ers....because lets face it....we do have to stick together.

Thanks guys,

~ Hammer