Wives during crisis: call the police or the husband?

[fickman]

I'm going to brush with broad strokes for this topic as I feel I've detected a trend that is worthy of discussion.

I've seen more than a handful of situations (911 calls, news stories, etc.) where a woman was put in a defensive position and called her husband instead of the police. (Even when she had/used her own firearm.)

The situation in Georgia around the time or Newtown is a classic example: the lady was hiding in her house as a BG broke in. She called her husband. He called 911 and was essentially a go-between throughout the ordeal. (She fired six rounds at the BG, he was hit five times and left.)

The typical order of priorities we discuss is usually something like this:
- Always be on alert
- Avoid confrontation if possible (hunker down)
- Engage if required
- Retreat and become as secure as possible if threat remains (hunker down)
- Be the first to call 911 if possible. . . at an earlier step if prudent

Most of the ladies hanging around this forum are informed and ready to protect themselves. Still, I wonder if some still have a natural instinct to call their husband first. That internal decision making process would be interesting to hear about.

For the guys: what about your wife? Would she call you or the police? Have you talked about it? You could be surprised by her answer if you haven't.

Obviously what-ifs and specifics could be infinite, so I'm trying to narrow this to those instances we've seen where I feel it's clearly time to call 911, when if I was there, I'd be calling 911. In some of those instances, we've seen wives calls the husband.

I have to admit, even though my wife is a CHLer and knows when it's time to call the police - under stress, she's still very likely to call me first. It's just how she's wired, and it'll take training and practice to rewire that instinct.

[Songbird]

I don't think it would even occur to me to call my husband. If I'm at home alone and faced with a threat, I'm going to be getting 911 on the phone and help here ASAP. He works 40 minutes away so couldn't do much anyway. And besides, when we're not at work, we're always together.

[JALLEN]

My wife is a 3rd Dan Black Belt in Tang Soo Do. She doesn't need my help!

If someone breaks into our house, our deal is that if he is unarmed, she gets to whack him; otherwise I get to shoot him.

[fickman]

I realized we could spend more time on scenarios when my wife called me while I was on a business trip in Chicago. I forget exactly what it was. . .either she heard something go bump in the night or got home and the front door was wide open. Regardless, it wasn't the "he's pointing a gun at me" moment (which thankfully never happened). . . her tendency is to call me during the, "does this sound serious enough to call the police?" moment.

She has a lot more confidence in making that decision now.

For reference, here is the 911 tape from Georgia (notice you're hearing the husband, who is at work):
http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/01 ... ruder?lite

Story:
http://myfox8.com/2013/01/10/armed-geor ... ive-times/

[The_Busy_Mom]

Most women would like to say that they don't need their husbands to protect them

Ok, now for real. About 10 years ago, my husband traveled 180 business days every year. He was out on Sunday night, home on Saturday, and back out on Sunday. I was fairly young, and had never really lived by myself. I grew up in a VERY ROUGH part of south dallas - think Oak Cliff/Lancaster/Wilmer Hutchins - so my situational awareness was (and is) always high. I found myself home alone one night with the kids, when the house alarm went off. Back then, no firearms in the house. First thing I did was call my husband. A lot of times, it's just natural instinct. I can say that I am very independent, and have no problem supporting myself. But for some reason, I picked up the phone and called him. Come to find out, there was a loose connection in one of the alarm sensors in the door, so nothing had opened at all. But just a few days ago, we were talking about what to do if that day ever came and I had to protect myself or my family. The order is 911, Husband, Lawyer. The problem arises when you run into a situation that isn't immediately discernible as a time to call 911. For instance, the gate is left open. Call the husband - "Why in the world did you leave the gate open?" He says, "I didn't." Now, the wife is on the phone, checking it out. And you have a situation where husband would <almost> rather stay on the phone than hang up. Because it was probably just the wind, or something like that. Wife runs into a bad guy, and now her connection is to husband. He's immediately going to call the cops from the office phone because that is really all he can do at that point. So I see where the woman in Georgia may have found herself in that position. Not saying that's exactly what happened, but I can see how it might have transpired. In our current world, where gender roles are challenged every day, sometimes we forget what role NATURE plays in our decisions. A very stressful time caused me to fall back on what nature intended - man = warrrior/protector. I still believe that I/my husband are our first line of protection, cops/911 next. But if hubby isn't home, you better believe 911 gets the first call because the law is going to need to send someone to pick up the pieces (of the bad guy, that is).

TBM

[JP171]

My wife is a 3rd Dan Black Belt in Tang Soo Do. She doesn't need my help!

If someone breaks into our house, our deal is that if he is unarmed, she gets to whack him; otherwise I get to shoot him.

I just love that division of responsibility

[Vol Texan]

About 5 years ago (in our pre-CHL days), I got a call one Sunday morning at 9am from my wife. Of course, I was in Nigeria at the time, so it was 3am for my wife here in Houston.

She said, "The dogs are going crazy outside - barking a lot, running back and forth at the corner of our fence, trying to jump over it, landing on the electric wire (dog-sized electric fence we put in so they wouldn't dig out), and doing it all over again. I think there might be someone in the corner of the neighbor's yard that has them spooked."

I asked, "Have you called the constables?!?" (Our neighborhood has a contract with Harris Co. Precinct 5 Constables, and they have an amazingly fast response time.)

Her answer was, "No, I've got you on the home phone, I have my mobile on speed dial ready to call, and I have your 45 here in my hand. I don't think the dogs'll let them in, but if they do, I'll put a couple of holes in them for you!""

(Gotta love that response in a lady!)

They never breached, the dogs calmed down, and she never called Precinct 5. The next morning, she saw the deputy down the street and mentioned it. They has been chasing (and had not caught) a home burglary suspect the night before, right about 3am.

She now knows: call anyway. These deputies in our contract are great, but they need our eyes and ears as much as we need their rapid response time.

[OldCurlyWolf]

My wife is a 3rd Dan Black Belt in Tang Soo Do. She doesn't need my help!

If someone breaks into our house, our deal is that if he is unarmed, she gets to whack him; otherwise I get to shoot him.

[C-dub]

About 5 years ago (in our pre-CHL days), I got a call one Sunday morning at 9am from my wife. Of course, I was in Nigeria at the time, so it was 3am for my wife here in Houston.

She said, "The dogs are going crazy outside - barking a lot, running back and forth at the corner of our fence, trying to jump over it, landing on the electric wire (dog-sized electric fence we put in so they wouldn't dig out), and doing it all over again. I think there might be someone in the corner of the neighbor's yard that has them spooked."

I asked, "Have you called the constables?!?" (Our neighborhood has a contract with Harris Co. Precinct 5 Constables, and they have an amazingly fast response time.)

Her answer was, "No, I've got you on the home phone, I have my mobile on speed dial ready to call, and I have your 45 here in my hand. I don't think the dogs'll let them in, but if they do, I'll put a couple of holes in them for you!""

(Gotta love that response in a lady!)

They never breached, the dogs calmed down, and she never called Precinct 5. The next morning, she saw the deputy down the street and mentioned it. They has been chasing (and had not caught) a home burglary suspect the night before, right about 3am.

She now knows: call anyway. These deputies in our contract are great, but they need our eyes and ears as much as we need their rapid response time.

Reminds me of Ron White's story about when he was away and his wife called him to tell him what Slugo did on the living room carpet.

[ELB]

Some time back my wife called me while I was at my VFD meeting, said she heard some kind of loud noise, thought there was someone outside the house (isolated, nearest neighbor well out of sight). I asked her if she had called the Sheriff's office; she said no, I said call them now, I am on the way (less than a mile). No way I was waiting on a deputy, I got home, let wife know I was outside, patrolled the property, didn't find anything. Deputy rolls up, he looks around too, still nothing. Thanked the deputy, went inside.

"So why did you call me first instead of the county mounties?"

"You were closer, I thought you'd bring everyone in the fire department and I figure you guys have more guns than the cops."

[jmra]

My wife would have the cause of the problem bagged and tagged before I ever knew anything about it.

[The Annoyed Man]

My wife would have the cause of the problem bagged and tagged before I ever knew anything about it.

Exactly. Mine knows to call for an ambulance.....for legal defense purposes...and to tell the police to take their time, the emergency's over.

[cling]

Based on some of the 911 calls we have heard, I'm not sure that's such a bad idea. The 911 dispatcher is a lot more likely to put her at risk by suggesting she not shoot the thug kicking in the door, or even tell her to put the gun away. Presumably her husband loves her and will encourage her to do whatever she needs to do to protect herself.