In 1908, two burglars broke into Clemens' home in the middle of the night through a kitchen window. They stole nothing else, but they found his deceased wife's heirloom silverware which was stored in a sideboard. Unable to get the sideboard open, they dragged the sideboard out the door to the yard where they tried to break it open. The ruckus woke the butler, who came downstairs and fired shots out the door at them. The thieves fled.
They were later caught up with on a commuter train downtown, and a running gun battle erupted on the train in which one of the thieves and one of the deputies were wounded, although not gravely. The thieves were captured and brought back to the local police station, where they were guarded by one of the deputies who pronounced that he "has a bootful of blood, by gob!"
Clemens had the opportunity to confront the thieves at the police station, and this is what he is reported to have told them:
Afterwards, Clemens penned a "Notice to the Next Burglar" and posted it next to his front door. It said:Don't you see where you're drifting to? They'll send you from here down to Bridgeport jail, and the next thing you know, you'll be in the United States Senate. There's no other future left open to you!
Later, he borrowed the butler's gun and posed for the following picture, taken outside the spot where the butler had shot at the criminals, demonstrating how to shoot a burglar who had "overstepped the bounds of proper behavior." Here is that picture.There is nothing but plated ware in this house, now and henceforth. You will find it in that brass thing in the dining room over in the corner by the basket of kittens. If you want the basket, put the kittens in the brass thing. Do not make a noise - it disturbs the family. You will find rubbers in the front hall, by that thing which has the umbrellas in it, that chiffonier, I think they call it, or pergola, or something like that. Please close the door when you go away.
Very truly yours,
S.L. Clemens
Can anyone identify the pistol? The picture was taken in 1908, and it appears to be a full-sized semi auto.
Although Clemens plainly tried to milk the situation for such humor as he could find in it, and also tried to exhibit his normal insouciance, he obviously had no problems with shooting burglars.
I hope y'all enjoyed this little look into the past.
