Fiance doesn't think she needs a gun

[srothstein]

I suggest a combination of the answers already made.

If she is against her carrying, then she needs other options. Start with carrying both the pepper spray and a taser (neither is always effective, both will work in most cases). These self defense options are "not" lethal and may be more acceptable to her. Then start training in self defense with her, using a different instructor than you. I suggest keeping up with the krav maga classes and maybe looking at some other unarmed self defense classes. Have her talk to those instructors about what else she can use (very few will be anti-weaponry). Then start a good shooting class for her, maybe a ladies only class or one where you also go as a student (you will be surprised what an experienced shooter can be taught in a rank beginner's class).

After a while with these classes, she should feel better about carrying and picking what she wants to carry.

About the only other advice would be to not rush it or argue about it. Talk with her and suggest she study the options. Let her come around to the idea on her own.

[surprise_i'm_armed]

Beretta Bobcat in .22 and some Taurus .22's are very small and may appeal to her.
Some of the Taurus semi-auto's come with pink grips if you think that may sway her
to think of her gun as more feminine.

Sig Mosquito in .22 looks more like a real gun. Might feel better in her hand, but
maybe not as concealable.

Sig has one model in .22 that has a conversion available to 9mm. (Moveup time??)

Charter Arms makes a 6 shot .22 revolver.

All of the above folks have good comments on what your SO should do.

I say - Get some kind of gun in her hand. And that gun will probably have to
be a .22 so the recoil doesn't spook her.

Hopefully, she will take to her .22 and like it. You will have created a shooter.
Best outcome - she'll like her .22 but want to move up in caliber.

We can all tsk-tsk about carrying mouse guns, but who wants to stand in
front of a woman throwing .22's your way? Not moi.

.22 may qualify as a mouse gun, but it's better than harsh words. :-)

SIA

[Purplehood]

I took her from California born, Colorado raised "guns are scary"

Wow, you just described my life perfectly. Born in Sacramento, raised in Colorado. However, I didn't know I was raised in a "guns are scary" state. I used to walk around town carrying long rifles (Parachute/Grand Valley).

[LongHairedRedneck]

Gonna have to agree with getting her instructed by someone OTHER than you.

I just took a friend of mines mom to the range, she was totally afraid of everything recoil due to the only pistol she ever shot was a baby glock in .45. We took my brothers full size Colt 1911, now she has a 1911 on order and should be picking it up later this week.

Also just get her shooting, even if its just range time with a .22 or something with ultra low recoil.

[74novaman]

I took her from California born, Colorado raised "guns are scary"

Wow, you just described my life perfectly. Born in Sacramento, raised in Colorado. However, I didn't know I was raised in a "guns are scary" state. I used to walk around town carrying long rifles (Parachute/Grand Valley).

Did you grow up the child of dyed in the wool hippies? I know colorado is fairly pro gun, but the bigger cities (Denver and Ft. Collins specifically) have a LOT of California imports. That was where she spent most of her time.

To everyone else, thanks for all the suggestions. I'm not pushing her on this, but we are going to get some pepper spray tonight at the least. Anything is better than nothing. She told me she's thinking about a beginners class, so I'll just let her think on it for a while.

[The Annoyed Man]

Send her to a GOOD basic pistol instructor and let her get familiar with several different types of guns. She needs to learn from someone that is NOT you.

Then, without trying to persuade her to get what you think is best for her, let her pick out her own gun. Any gun is better than no gun.

My wife took Crossfire's basic handgun course, and it was the best thing we ever did for her. She had been to the range with my son and me before, and she was a passably decent shot, but she was never able to relax and have fun because she always felt like she was being judged and tested — even though we were trying to be as gentle and encouraging as possible.

Even though the instructor was another man, Crossfire's husband Marty, my wife was able to relax and actually enjoy the experience. After that, it took about a year for her to work up the nerve to take Crossfire's CHL class, but by that time, she was running on her own impetus; and when she did the range qualification, she was actually ecstatic, and she LOVED it. The very next day, she went out and bought her very own Glock 19.

The lesson for me: encourage her and be supportive, let her know about opportunities to learn, and then get the heck out of the way. My wife is a strong and intelligent woman. She was able to figure it out on her own if I would just stop trying to "manage" the process.

By the way, even though she bought herself a G19, she only shoots it at the range. I had purchased a S&W 642 Airweight for her as a Valentine's Day present almost a year before she took her CHL class, and that is what she chooses to carry; because it fits well in her Coronado Leather purse's gun compartment and is easier to draw and put away than the Glock — even though it is harder to shoot well.

The bottom line is this: Put your girlfriend in contact with an instructor who is good at working with newbie women, and then get out of her way and let her learn at her own speed, and make her own decisions about what she likes to shoot and/or carry.

[Purplehood]

I took her from California born, Colorado raised "guns are scary"

Wow, you just described my life perfectly. Born in Sacramento, raised in Colorado. However, I didn't know I was raised in a "guns are scary" state. I used to walk around town carrying long rifles (Parachute/Grand Valley).

Did you grow up the child of dyed in the wool hippies? I know colorado is fairly pro gun, but the bigger cities (Denver and Ft. Collins specifically) have a LOT of California imports. That was where she spent most of her time.

To everyone else, thanks for all the suggestions. I'm not pushing her on this, but we are going to get some pepper spray tonight at the least. Anything is better than nothing. She told me she's thinking about a beginners class, so I'll just let her think on it for a while.

I suspect that I come from a different generation. Colorado seems to be slipping to the far left in the urban areas now.

[Abraham]

Take Crossfire's suggestion.

If, after taking the course she wants to start carrying let her select the pistol and caliber she wants.

If, after taking the course she decides carrying is not for her accept her decision.

Then, buy yourself an additional pistol.

Hey, you thought you were gonna have to buy another anyway...

[pedalman]

We can all tsk-tsk about carrying mouse guns, but who wants to stand in
front of a woman throwing .22's your way? Not moi.

.22 may qualify as a mouse gun, but it's better than harsh words. :-)

SIA

I don't know. When my wife gives "The Look", coupled with the "Wagging Finger", I truly believe that a .44 Magnum round would stop in its tracks.

Definitely beats a .22 and harsh words.

[Pete92FS]

We can all tsk-tsk about carrying mouse guns, but who wants to stand in
front of a woman throwing .22's your way? Not moi.

.22 may qualify as a mouse gun, but it's better than harsh words. :-)

SIA

I don't know. When my wife gives "The Look", coupled with the "Wagging Finger", I truly believe that a .44 Magnum round would stop in its tracks.

Definitely beats a .22 and harsh words.

Mine doesn't need the "Wagging Finger" - "The Look" will do - like when I brought home a new Kimber last Friday. Tried to tell her it just followed me home but she didn't believe that one.

[ExpatBen]

Try and get her around guns and gun people (not psycos at gun shops or gun shows). Try signing up for a local IDPA match and taking her to watch (not participate). This is a long term thing. Find a good instructor, not you. I'm an instructor and my wife won't learn from me. If you can get her to go to a class, after a couple IDPA matches, you could do it as a "together thing." She may go for that. If she does, just be there with her and enjoy the class, no matcho stuff. And good luck.

As for the mouse gun, I carry a Kel-Tec .32. It's a great little gun, and anything is better then spitting at someone. I love it, it shoots great, and I can carry anywhere wearing anything.

In the end, remember, if she can't pull the trigger, she shouldn't be carrying a gun.

Maybe look at a taser or pepper balls from Kimber.

Good Luck,

Ben

[TLE2]

No one needs a gun... until they need a gun.

[magicglock]

I took her from California born, Colorado raised "guns are scary"

Wow, you just described my life perfectly. Born in Sacramento, raised in Colorado. However, I didn't know I was raised in a "guns are scary" state. I used to walk around town carrying long rifles (Parachute/Grand Valley).

I was a fourth generation native to Colorado and never viewed it as a "guns are scary" state. Actually a very Pro 2A state. The only thing scary in Colorado was Californians and Texans until I married a Texan and....well you know how that goes...she couldn't resist moving back to the great state and I had no choice but to come with her! I have to admit she was right about one thing, this is a great state. So, I guess the only thing scary about Colorado is the Californians.....oh and my sister that voted for our current "guns are scary" president

Took me ten years of marriage to my little Texan before she saw the light and agreed to having guns in the house. She doesn't get the CHL mindset but a few other females at the range one day changed her mind about home defense and shooting. (I wish I knew who they were so I could thank them!) Now she sleeps with a Glock 23 w/laser sight on the night stand when I'm not home. Sometimes it just has to come from somebody other than the husband/boyfriend. I would get her in a class with Crossfire if at all possible!

[RiverRat]

Send her to a GOOD basic pistol instructor and let her get familiar with several different types of guns. She needs to learn from someone that is NOT you.

Then, without trying to persuade her to get what you think is best for her, let her pick out her own gun. Any gun is better than no gun.

Get a good, qualified instructor, or better yet, let her pick an instructor. Let her decide what she is comfortable with. Most mouse guns are a handful to control. Congrats on her moving forward with handguns.

[drjoker]

Be careful of the Taser. Carrying one is ILLEGAL in Texas unless you're licensed. For the life of me, I cannot find a darn Taser class in Dallas to get me licensed for Taser carry. I spend my time saving lives, so I really don't want to shoot anyone. However, I do have a right to defend myself as it is a basic human right guaranteed by the constitution's 2nd amendment, so I get a CHL instead.

Any gun is better than no gun. And with women, aesthetics is more important than function. For an adult novice, training by a range pro in a real class is most important. So, just take her to the range and have her rent a few guns to try out. Let her choose the pick of the litter for concealed carry.

My suggestion is for her to get a snub nosed revolver. Why? Because she can shoot reduced power cowboy action loads with ZERO recoil in a handgun that can be loaded with 357 magnum or 38 special. She can start out with the cowboy action loads and with more practice, she may end up carrying 38 special or even 357 magnum loads, depending on how much recoil she can eventually handle later. That way, she can use the same gun as her skill progresses. And, if her skill level doesn't progress, well she can just continue to carry the gun loaded with cowboy action loads. I have a friend who was accidentally shot with a cowboy action load and he'll tell you that he dropped unconscious with just one shot to the chest.

Compact, light modern revolvers are perfect for purse carry. Women wear tight clothes and can't carry anything on them, but a purse is a good carry option. Just be sure to get a purse with a holster built in that you can lock. Do not carry in a normal purse or you're just begging for an accidental discharge. As for aesthetics, a revolver can be pink (Charter Arms pink lady) or have pearl grips with gold plated accessories (Taurus). Furthermore, women tend to either practice religiously and are crack shots or just dump a gun somewhere and forget it. Since she is a novice, you'll have to assume the latter unless otherwise disproven later. A revolver is almost maintenance free. You have to change magazines in an auto periodically to prevent magazine spring compression and jams. However, a revolver can be dropped somewhere and forgotten until you need it and it will still fire safely without jamming. Half the women in my CHL class jammed their Glocks because they limp wristed (I didn't think it was possible to jam a Glock!). A revolver can be fired with a limp wrist (just not accurately, but most armed encounters are at close range anyways). Plus, you can answer the door with a revolver in a paper sack. You can't do that with an auto because the slide will get caught in the paper sack and jam. Revolvers are great and my next gun purchase will probably be a Ruger Vaquero in 357 magnum as a gift for my Dad for his birthday.

If she doesn't like the fashion lacking gun purses, then she'd either have to hire a leatherworker to custom convert her fashion purse to a gun purse OR she can carry a mouse gun. A mouse gun can be holstered in a neck chain with the gun under her shirt. Everyone will think it is a pendant or something. No one will suspect a gun. I've included a pic of such as rig at the bottom. A NAA 22 revolver or a Kel-Tec 380 (better than 22 IMHO) can be worn in this way.

Personally, being a man who carries no purse, I need a thin gun to conceal so I cannot use a revolver because the big 'ol wheel will print. That's why I carry an auto. However, a woman who carries a purse can carry a revolver just fine. So, guys, don't buy a gun for your gal based on what YOU think is best. What suits you may not suit HER. I'd push the revolver with cowboy action loads, but I'd also let her try other guns and let her decide (as long it is a safe gun that will not AD. Unsafe; Lorcin, Jimenez, Bryco and other pot metal guns), no matter how ridiculous I think her choice is because ANY gun is better than no gun.



P.S. I once knew an old doc who carried an antique Colt single action army under his lab coat. He did cowboy action shooting and practiced often with it. That's why he carried it because he was most familiar and confident with this gun. A gigantic SINGLE ACTION ONLY gun like that is not the best choice, but it is the best choice for him. He could outshoot me with my auto any day with that gun. The guy could fire that single action revolver so fast, you'd think he had an auto. The point is, let her try and choose. What's good for her may not be good for you.

BTW, nobody NEEDs a gun. Just like nobody NEEDs life insurance. I mean, who wants to die to collect life insurance? However, it is there when you DO need it some day. Guns are just like life insurance. You don't need it, but it's nice to have when you do finally need it.