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a club walks into a bar and everyone is confused by the irony.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents

What kind of flower is on your face?


Tulips

Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy Bear

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits a windshield?

It's Butt

What do you do with a sick boat?

TAKE IT TO THE DOC!

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer

what do you do with epileptic lettuce?

You make a seizure salad!

I am easily amused