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Blindref757 wrote:

Hoi Polloi wrote:Do you have a history of getting really into interests or hobbies? Is your wife reacting to a pattern of behavior, making the gun itself irrelevant? If so, ratchet back and settle in for the long haul, showing interest in her life (enough so that she feels validated and that you're involved), and choosing carefully when and where you're going to introduce this interest into the rest of your life.

I do get into my hobbies, and she has never had one. I've encouraged her to get one/some, offered to pay, supported with kids/dishes/laundry, etc. I don't think it's about the guns...I think it is about image of some sort. I think she's scared that someone might find out what those clips on my belt are for (my tuckable holster) and think less of us for having a gun at church. My gun is always well concealed...I wouldn't have it any other way.

Saying her husband has "Little Man Syndrome" is harsh and not the typical choice of words for a woman who loves, respects, and feels validated by her husband but who has a disagreement in values on one minor, though well-discussed, topic. That you think she needs a hobby and she doesn't is interesting. Perhaps she feels a lot of pressure with a long list of things needing to be done and like she can't rest while she feels like you, in comparison, don't pull your fair share. This in no way implies that you don't as you might work your tail off, but I'm just wondering if that's how she perceives you. Whatever it is, and no matter how fulfilled you are or how much you give to your marriage, it sounds to me like one of her primary relationship needs is going unfulfilled and the gun at church is symbolic of it.

Is your relationship solid outside this issue? Is the conflict limited only to guns? If not, fix the underlying relationship issue and this will disappear.

Do you have a history of getting really into interests or hobbies? Is your wife reacting to a pattern of behavior, making the gun itself irrelevant? If so, ratchet back and settle in for the long haul, showing interest in her life (enough so that she feels validated and that you're involved), and choosing carefully when and where you're going to introduce this interest into the rest of your life.

Does your wife have a particular issue with firearms? Did you rush into carrying (on her timescale, not yours) so that she's been simmering for months and it is starting to come out because she's reaching the boiling point? If so, gain lots of brownie points by working backwards to the day it started, then start moving forward together, giving it the time and attention the issue needs to be resolved.

There are a bunch of other possible reasons, but I'll leave it at that until hearing back from you.