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gemini wrote:Arggggg Matey, one them thar' pirates here..... however, I have no fringe, no wallet chain, no handle bar streamers,
and I wear a helmet. Just wondering if you wouldn't rather dress as a pirate, sit upright to ride, and have the ladies
wanting to jump on the back of your bike for a ride? Or, maybe you prefer to dress in skin tight leathers head to toe
(Dominatrix style), and ride with your head down and your rear up........ to each his own. It's all perspective.
I don't really care what anyone rides (except I have no interest in Vespa's etc), I'm just glad more folks are riding.

Given the OP's marital status and his wife's strong association of "motorcycles=kills the men I love and I can't handle the same thing again..." I doubt attracting the ladies' attention would rank very high on what bike to choose if his wife were ever emotionally OK enough with it for him to get one.

The perspective of this one lady is that a Harley is too loud, too slow, too much vibration, and too likely to leave parts along the road. A Gold Wing is too expensive, too heavy, and might as well be replaced with a small convertible which would probably weigh as much. Anything with monkey bars is ridiculously uncomfortable and unladylike and the extreme sport bikes are just as ridiculously postured in the other extreme. If you're gonna go through the risk and trouble of riding a bike, I think it should be fast, smooth, maneuverable especially on the bends, and should look cute to boot! If you're gonna do something, do it all the way!

I'm with Warhammer, the sport-styled standards are a great balance between the extremes. As long as they have nice paint jobs, that is!

I think the fact that your wife's father died in a motorcycle accident when she was young enough to be scarred greatly and old enough to remember vividly means this is not only a logical issue of facts, but a core emotional issue about her need for security and her fear of losing you in the same way. While you might justifiably need transportation, specifically having a motorcycle seems from what you posted to be an emotional want in the category of recreation. (A perfectly reasonable desire when all other things are equal, I will add.) This could be something your wife might be able to talk her way through with some exposure and knowledge (if she fears motorcycles as a lingering effect) or it might be an overwhelming topic which could take her a lifetime to work through (if it is symbolic of a great insecurity and fear over losing another man she loves). If this does rise to the level of causing her so much emotional trauma that she's telling you it will negatively impact your marriage then I think her emotional needs override your emotional wants and you need to forget about the motorcycle and focus on her core fear.

You presumably knew when you married her that your wife's father died tragically from a motorcycle accident when she was young and your wife presumably did not have reason to believe that motorcycle riding would be an important issue to you, which means erring on the side of established norms in your relationship would be reasonable. That isn't to say you should just ditch the motorcycle idea. I just think it should be put into perspective and how problematic this is for your wife in particular should be respected. If you can talk about it or be around motorcycles then she might acclimate over time. If she can't even handle that, then I think out of love and concern for her you should probably look at sports cars or something because she's going to need a long time to heal.