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Walmart still sells styptic pencils. Even though I shave with an electric razor, I keep one around. They're handy for lots of little nicks & cuts.

A few years ago a co-worker had come to my desk in the lab for something. I'm sitting at my computer, looking up what he needs and he's standing behind me.

Him: "What's that cologne you're wearing?"
Me: "I'm not wearing cologne."
Him: "Than what do I smell?"
Me: "Soap."
Him: "What kind?"
Me: "Irish Spring."

Do I get to keep my Real Man card?