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by PuntoQuatroCinco
Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:59 am
Forum: Never Again!!
Topic: Your Conversion Experience?
Replies: 86
Views: 20667

Re: Your Conversion Experience?

I sure hope this post won't be construed as being racially charged. It isn't. If there is any doubt, I would appreciate the opportunity to clarify any misunderstandings before being flamed.

I was born into a military / L.E. family. I was raised from the beginning with a proper attitude toward 2nd amendment, etc, but have had my predispositions proved correct numerous times.

The most influential for me...the incident that made my subconscious declare "you need to be carrying for your own safety and for the safety of those you love" happened on a Sunday at the office.

I came in to get some work done on the weekend. I left the locked portion of the office and headed down the hall to use the public restroom. I was in there a while... but as I flushed I thought "wouldn't I be tipping off a bad guy to my presence by making so much noise...but on the other hand wouldn't it be a little paranoid to leave the restroom, quietly check the hall, and then come back to flush...you're not James Bond, PQC...you're a boring office worker, so chill out and quit watching so many movies" So I washed up and made my way back to toward the office. Sure enough, as soon as I passed the elevator cluster a man began following me back toward the office. What an awkward premonition... bump-bump....bump-bump...heartbeat quickens...

So we get within 5 steps of my locked office door and I stop abruptly, turn, take a step toward him, and ask if I can help.
He puts his hands in his pockets, then stutters and stammers a bad, but plausible excuse as to why he's in the office on a Sunday afternoon.
(self...he's got his hands in his pockets...if you take the initiative you have the drop on him, you can probably close the gap, from there it's a wrestling match...or you could be wrongly attacking an innocent man with an alibi...or he could have his hands on a weapon and you're f00ked if you sit still and he draws on you...what to do, what to do..)

I don't challenge his shaky story; just enter my office, lock the door behind me, turn off my speakers, make note of any makeshift defensive items...then proceed to feel horribly ashamed of myself for profiling this guy on the basis of his race. (You were raised better than that, PCQ!)

It turns out he wound up stealing several thousand dollars worth of computer and projector equipment from an unlocked office in my building that day and was wanted in connection to a series of break-ins in the area. After reading DeBecker's "The Gift of Fear" I later analyzed the encounter and found several non-racial reasons why my "gut instincts" were going haywire...I just (deliberately?) misinterpreted the signals in the interest of political correctness. In other words, I only thought I was profiling him based on race at the time, but there were more than a few things about his presence that didn't add up which were completely independent of race. Those things only became clear upon later analysis: the elevator "down" light was activated, indicating he was waiting for the elevator...but he abandoned his elevator call in order to follow me to his "new" office to put some things away, but my company occupied that whole side of the floor...he was waiting on his new boss to give him a key to the office, but then how did he get into the building in the first place? ...There wasn't another car in the parking lot, so there shouldn't have been another person in the building (no near-by bus stops)...etc, etc

Given the outcome, I don't think I would have done anything differently regardless whether I was in possession of a heater or not. Even a scumbag's life isn't worth a few thousand dollars' worth of office equipment. But if he had decided my life wasn't worth the risk of getting ID'd to the police...then I'd have been up the creek without a paddle. At that point I decided I needed a louder voice in case of any such difference of opinion (metaphorically speaking).

The closer I get to marriage and the concept of "owing" my kids a duty to protect them, the more consideration I have given the matter, and the more steadfast I have become. I'm still not over that feeling of vulnerability (which, oddly, only set in after the incident, after I discovered the stakes of my encounter).

I guess that's about it.

PQC

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