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If you properly maintain and lubricate the pistols, I don't think you will see much difference. I have M&Ps in both 9 an 45. The 9 has 50,000 + though it with no detectable wear. The 45 is probably closer to 30K and the same for it. I do use a good synthetic oil on both and keep them very well lubricated. I think the lubrication part is really critical to extending the life of any firearm.

I typically use loads for the 9 mm that make 135,000 power factor (147 grain bullet at 920 feet per second) and 45 loads that make 175,000 power factor (200 grain SWC at 875 feet per second). Not cream puff load but not self defense level loads either.