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Happy wife....happy life.

But...you don't sound happy...the fallacy of that statement. Boy this is a tough one. Sometimes (most times) what is truly loving is what feels the most like death (to yourself).

However, (aren't you glad the however is here)....

As mentioned many, many times in this thread...be patient. I know that the CHL plastic is burning a hole in your wallet...mine did...

Here is what worked for me...not saying it will you....but maybe some tidbits here... (15 years of marriage)

1) Give her the plastic...tell her you love her more than the lic...she can give it back to (if ever) when she is comfortable with you carrying (if ever)....TRUST ME on this one...Do NOT carry without the CHL...she will know you are serious if you are NOT carrying...

2) Tell her how you feel about giving her the plastic...they lap that stuff up with a spoon...tell her it is important that men protect themselves and their family...that sure...you like the idea of carrying...it is cool...got to be honest or she will see right through you...tell her you believe (which we all do) that our society has 'socialized' fear and responsibility out of us....if the water leaks we call a plumber....if the pool needs cleaning we call the pool company...if threatened we call the police...we outsource it all...BUT you can't outsource protection. The Police are RESPONDERS...I saw this first hand with Dallas PD when at one time I did consulting work for them and rode in cars, on patrol, on a regular basis...

YOU CANNOT DEPEND ON THE POLICE TO PROTECT YOU...they are NOT there when the things happen...and...they are not designed by definition to be....i am PRO POLICE...but somewhere in our society we have out-sourced the responsibility of personal protection...

My dad always taught me that if someone started a fight...that I needed to end it...good words...????....he taught me that I must defend myself...good words...????
NO...
not in my case...it made me feel guilty and embarrassed and afraid...BECAUSE....
he NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW to defend myself....

I avoided fights and confrontations like the plague...and my self esteem suffered....Tell me...when did we LOSE the idea that a man/boy must be TAUGHT HOW to defend himself. The Police take reports...you defend yourself.

3) FEAR is o.k.... Fear is NOT paranoia. Fear protects us, keeps us safe and we need to listen to it. When you are walking to your car at night and you see three seedy guys approaching you...are you afraid...you better be...everything is screaming...watch out...be careful...do something....but...we have SOCIALIZED those responses out of ourselves..."ohh, I refuse to live my life that way" well you better listen to your gut...your fear...it protects you.
and when you don't know HOW to handle it or what YOUR plan is...you are terrified....and you should be...

4) Tell her you are not paranoid...you just want to KNOW you can take care of her and yourself.

5) SHOW her you are serious...GO TO THE RANGE....GO TO THE RANGE...it shows her you are NOT a poser and this is really important to you...face it CARRYING IS A LIFESTYLE...

6) It will show her you are getting proficient...proficiency equals safety...trust....You KNOW how to handle your weapon...my Glock feels like a part of body...shoot shoot shoot and shoot some more...clean your gun in front of her after the range....YOU must know how it works...cleaning means i am taking care of my gun because i am proficient and I know how it operates.

7) Ask her to help you clean it... EXPOSURE THERAPY.....

8) Get a gun safe..http://shop.sportsmansguide.com/net/cb/ ... 00688&pn=1" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

9) What she is afraid of....???

a) that you cant handle the responsibility...
b) if you cant handle it that it will hurt someone

10) Sucks i know...is what my wife thought...So show her you are learning....take a gun safety class....show her your RANGE targets after you shoot..bring them home...show her your proficiency...

11) Tell her how much you LOVE shooting...talk about it

12) When she feels safe...she will not be afraid

13) My wifes fear is/was that I am careless....lose my car keys everyday...lay things down and forget about them...can never find my blackberry...impulsive...sometimes impulsive anger....she thought i would be the same way with a gun....UNCOVER that fear...and...it will HURT....but then work on it...PROFICIENCY....I told my wife that if I ever was careless...left it, forgot about it, whatever...she could have it...and...it keeps me aware....UNCOVER that fear...PATIENTLY !!! Over time!!!!

14) Take a martial art...
a) shows her you are serious about defending yourself/her
b) teaches you discipline, self esteem in THIS area/PROTECTION and helps you realize that you don't always have to have a/the gun. I take Aiki-JuJitSu...my confidence without my gun is sky high...not enough to think I am a black belt..but enough to know I am LEARNING HOW to defend myself...enough to know that if approached by three seedy guys I better RUN but if I can't so size them up and know my first, second and third 'move'...I can think three steps ahead now...Knowledge KILLS fear....

15) AND...my instructor...multiple black belts in multiple arts....carrys a gun CHL as do 3/4 of the class members...BECAUSE...it IS a viable way to defend yourself...even if you are a black belt...and learning to protect yourself is a LIFESTYLE

16) WHEN she gives it back...and she will....let her know this is a one time deal...that once she gives it back...IT IS FOR GOOD

17) Is there anyone that SHE trusts that uses or knows about guns...Her dad is a gun guy...I went to him and asked him to teach me everything he knows...she loved that...especially because he and I do not really get along...

BE PATIENT and BE SERIOUS about it and she will come around.

DONT BE A POSER though...she will see right though it.

Train, Shoot, Read, - Train, Shoot, Read - Train, Shoot, Read

Hope there is something here of value...

~ H