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Drewthetexan wrote:

No Bama Man wrote:As far as the future SIL and mine's relationship the damage has been done. I will not accept and be ok with his lack of respect for me and willing to trust/tolerate my judgements. I mean I'm really not a confrontational person and havent been in a fist fight since junior high some 35 years ago, never been in jail although I've been pretty close a time or two. Speaking of tolerating that is just what I am doing with him, just tolerating.

All due respect, is there is an underlying issue between the two of you that goes beyond this? What I mean is, have you two butted heads on other things, or, aside from asking you to not carry in his/their home, has he done anything you feel is disrespectful?

Right or wrong, it takes guts to stand up to a woman's father if it means standing up for what you believe in - I've been there and it's no fun.

I've also been in the situation where my girlfriend and my mother hated each other and it ate me up. I don't have kids myself, so I can't say I really understand how you feel; but concerning your daughter, I'd caution you to take care that you don't drive this wedge any further, even if you have to swallow your pride a bit because your daughter is the one who will end up getting hurt.

God forbid, but she's far more likely to be a victim of some accident at any given time when you aren't around than to be victimized by some criminal while you are visiting, and if it were me, I'd play those odds if it meant keeping a good relationship. You can work on your SIL later.

Thought I'd offer a different perspective on things. Best of luck.

drewthetexan
You are right and thank you for your input. I'm trying to keep the relationship between my daughter's fiance and me as good as possible. We just don't have anything in common except my daughter but she is the most important thing in this situation. So I'm trying. And things will be ok as long as he is good to her because I will do whatever is necessary, for her.

Thanks again,
Dean

As far as the future SIL and mine's relationship the damage has been done. I will not accept and be ok with his lack of respect for me and willing to trust/tolerate my judgements. I mean I'm really not a confrontational person and havent been in a fist fight since junior high some 35 years ago, never been in jail although I've been pretty close a time or two. Speaking of tolerating that is just what I am doing with him, just tolerating.

As for hammer's statements, using his rationale of not needing to carry at his home or someone else's home because the "odds" are less at those places for a violent cofrontation with someone and needing a ccw there for self-defense, well most everyone could reason that they dont need a ccw anywhere because however old they are, most people have never been in a situation where they had a need to use deadly force to defend themselves. I'm over 50 and have never needed any level of force (since junior high) to defend myself or anyone else for that matter but have made the decision that I refuse to be a helpless victim to a scumbag BG or deranged individual. My view is that the odds of this situation ever presenting itself to me are quite slim but since I dont know when or where it might happen, if ever, I will carry 24/7. Also reinforcing this view is the fact that the safest and most readily available place to store this gun is in my holster on my belt.

Simply put -
1) is it possible for hammer to never need his ccw outside of his home or a friends home?


2) is it possible for hammer to need his ccw inside his home and not have enough time to unlock his safe lock box?

3) is it possible for hammer to need his ccw at a friends home?

I think the answer to all 3 questions is yes

Isnt this why we cc everywhere, because it is possible - everywhere.

Dean

lonewolf wrote:I almost posted something totally inappropriate, and I apologize.

I am, however, feeling a little better about my daughter's boyfriend, Skippy the Cave Troll. The boy (19) is trying hard with the brains he has, so I have to give him some credit, and he shows me the utmost respect and consideration. In turn, I give him some respect.

I wish you luck with your current situation and hope all works out well for you and your daughter. In the meantime, I suspect you'll be getting more of the clogged drain, tripped breaker, leaking faucet type calls. That puts you in a difficult situation. You want to help your little girl, but not him. He's already asking for your help but was even quicker to let you know you weren't welcome if carrying.

Lonewolf,
Thanks for the wish of good luck, I will need it, and I'm glad my lousy situation makes you feel better about your not so lousy situation. Really he is kind of ok, but thats all, to me anyway. What kills me is the look in her eyes when looking at or thinking about him. I would never have picked him out for her in a million years...go figure.

But any man who would force a break in the relationship between a father and his daughter is no kind of man - unless there is something really unhealthy and abusive involved between father and daughter. That is patently not the case in your situation. It really boils down to this: how wise is your daughter? She may eventually come to see that her fiance (hopefully future husband) is being a putz and put her foot down. After all, she was OK with your being armed when she lived in your home, wasn't she?

When is the wedding?

You are exactly right.

The wedding was March...now I think it is May. They are waiting for the perfect time which I tell them will never come. He is a Bridezilla! He is like 34 325 pounds of wimp and she is 27 130 pounds of beauty, so I'm not dealing with children. He called a while back because he had shorted out a circuit in his house and had no idea what to do! No idea of how a circuit breaker works or what a breaker box is.

I would stick with my statement above. He has options:

- never visit you and look like a horses patootie.
- visit you and not look so bad.
- let you visit his house with your weapon.

It is not like you shut him out, you simply agreed to his wishes and advised him that visits would have to be at your place or a neutral location. Regardless of age, I would never let my children dictate to me. Your daughter will either pressure him to modify his position or not, it is up to her.

As angry as this made me which I made evident to the both of them it is his and hers house and I must honor their wishes which will mean I'm not visiting their house very much and it has hurt mine and his relationship. As unacceptable as I feel this situation is it does not rise to the level of forcing my daughter to choose him or me. I cant do that to her. Not on this anyway.

seamusTX wrote:You could take a diplomatic approach and tell him that he is a fool and a gutless coward.

Seriously, adult offspring are going to go their own way, and you just have to adapt in whatever way your principles will allow.

- Jim

Jim hit the nail on the head. I did tell him he was an idiot and that if something happend to my daughter he may could have prevented he would have to answer to me. That being said, I'm a hostage now and I really have no choice but to adapt as best I can just as Jim said.

Just bragging but I just upgraded my NRA membership to Life status!

Purplehood wrote:I would just tell him that if he wants to visit, it would have to be at my place as I am not coming over unarmed.

Purplehood,
I said that but it will be impossible to never go over there, my daughter does live there and in the future grandchildren may be in the picture as well. I'm kind of over a barrel on this because he has my daughter.

I think it may be worth bringing up the question of how they plan to ensure the safety of each other and their home together to him and your daughter. It may be that he hasn't given much thought to the subject, and she is assuming that he will take care of that just like Daddy did (I'm supposing you did, and that she knows so).

When I was a single fellow, I didn't give much thought to self-defense either (being as I'm a little on the largish side most folks don't want to mess with me), but it has become an increasing concern to me as I got married & started having kids. It was sort of a gradual thing that took place over a few years and culminated with the arrival of the Katricians, at which point I started keeping firearms around & taught my wife and kids about them and about protecting themselves.

At any rate, it may be worth pointing out to him a few facts of life (e.g. - he is taking on at least some level of responsibility for the health & safety of another person, when seconds count the cops are only minutes away, etc.).

BTW, I'm not saying the responsibility for her safety is all on him. She bears that responsibility as well, and may have not given the matter any thought, which is why I suggest you bring it up with both of them.

Actually I did discuss with the both of them how they would defend themselves and they are willing to take their chances. I told him at one point that if I was around and someone were to try to harm him I would honor his wishes and allow this to happen and only use my gun to protect the rest of us. I really dont care for him much.

I think he can move his own furniture.

Actually I didn't word that very good. He arrived late to help me move some of my furniture. Like 1 1/2 hours late. Should have told him to get lost then. Really trying not to make my daughter unhappy.

Anyway, my question is, what do y'all think about my stance on him telling me not to carry in HIS (not his and my daughter's home) home? As a future son in law I dont think he should pick this fight myself. He is questioning my judgement in my view.

The quick answer to that kind of question is, "Why would you think that?"

I know a couple of mature ladies who are huggers. Usually I see them coming and make sure they hug my chest. Twice, they have sneaked up on me and patted me right on the hardware. Neither batted an eyelash.

Maybe, being lifelong Texans, they take it for granted.

- Jim[/quote]
I see...you're probably right. Thats kind of what I meant when I said 'heck, they may be carrying."

seamusTX wrote:The quick answer to that kind of question is, "Why would you think that?"

- Jim

Right after I got my chl, my future son in law and I were moving some furniture which he arrived late to do, and we started discussing me carrying while at his home. Now my daughter lives there with him and I figure being engaged and all it is her home as well and she also has some say as to the "rules" of the house. He proceeds to tell me he doesnt want me to carry in his home which really ticked me off and I told him so. Now I see both sides of this, it is his home, but where is the respect and a little fear of confronting me. I would never tell my fiances father something like this. I never really cared for his liberal ways anyway and this didnt help.

I may not be right but I'm still his fiances father.

What do y'all think?

C-dub wrote:GET OUT! Of Arkansas and Louisiana I mean. lol
That's just strange.

No Bama Man, I'm dying to hear how the group took your outing. Were they pro, con, or what?

C-dub - The particular couple whos house we were visiting are very close friends and know the wife and me each have a chl but I'm sure they never thought about us carrying in their home though. When the female friend blurted out "whats that? Is that a gun"? My wife several feet away (assuming I told the lady about the gun) said what, are you advertising the fact you are carrying? After that, being in shock do to being caught completely off guard, I'm not sure what was said. We were all a little uncomfortable about the situation. It may play out as it did with gunlock with the friend saying he would prefer I didnt carry in his home and then again maybe nothing else will be said...I hope.

I cant figure out what made her think gun so quickly, heck, maybe they were/are carrying.

To me the safest place for the gun is on me as far as children go and since I dont know if or when I will need it for self defense I carry 24/7.
Just this past saturday the wife and me were at a friends house enjoying food and drink. Well as we were leaving we were all standing in the living room saying our goodbyes when a female friend put her hand on my shoulder while telling me something. As she brought her hand down she bumped may Glock 27 in my IWB high noon bare assets holster at 3 - 3:30. She says loudly "whats that? Is it a gun?" And proceed to pull my shirt up to confirm it to everyone. I had been outed.
It was uncomfortable and I wish it had not of happened but it wont change anything. Until I know in advance exactly when I will need it I will continue to carry 24/7.

Dean