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You really should shoot both. Find some place that is renting both guns. They point differently. For me, the glock has a strong tendency to shoot low because the angle of the grip just isn't right for me. Depends on the person. Pick up one in a firing grip. Pick a target point. Close your eyes and raise the gun to what you feel is an accurate aim on that point. Open your eyes. You will see one gun will more naturally aim at the selected point than the other. The XD line does not have an adjustable grip. The XDm line does and some other nice features. I have heard good things about the M&P line, but don't have any experience with those.

I have had the glock 19 and the XD subcompact 3.0 but I traded them for the XDm 3.8 with the full size grip and adjustable backstrap. Absolutely love that gun. It comes with 3 interchangeable back straps to get a good fit for your hand. I just can't conceal it on my person very well with the large grip. But now Springfield has solved that problem with the XDm Compact 3.8 with a short grip and a mag extension you can add to make it the full size grip any time you want. That is a really neat way to carry a concealable gun but easily pop in the larger magazine with the grip extension for lots of ammo when needed. Very versatile.
As for the grip safety, etc. I have never had the slightest problem with it. You won't even notice it. If you have any kind of a correct firing grip, it will function just fine every time. It is a point and shoot gun. Very accurate. Very reliable. I have never once had a failure to feed/eject right from the box. Neither has my husband who owns the XDm 3.8 in both the 9mm and .45. Of course...If you can't decide. Buy them both!