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The Annoyed Man wrote:

7075-T7 wrote:

Oldgringo wrote:She said, 'Aye - Ye will be when the tide comes in.'

What name to you give to a surfer with no arms and no legs?

Bob.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs stuck in a pile of leaves?

Russel.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on a wall?

Art.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs at your front door?

Matt.

OK, OK, I'll stop with the "What do you call a man with no arms or legs" stuff.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who plays nine musical instruments?

Stump The Band

One night a guy walks into a TV repair shop and when the owner asks him "Can I help your?", the fellow responds, "I think I'm a moth." The owner, confused says " Why did you come in here you need a psychiatrist!" The guy says, "Your light was on."

One more and I'l quit.

Sign outside small town. " Veterinary - Taxidermist. Guaranteed to get your pet back!"

My dad, a veterinarian was always being asked for free advice on animal issues and one particular fellow would always approach him at church for advice on his cattle. Asked what to do for a calf with locked bowels, my dad said give it a half pint of castor oil. The following Sunday my dad asked how the calf was doing and the fellow said it was his cat, Not his calf. Slightly confused my dad said that he was sure he said it was a calf. My dad said "well, I hope you didn't follow my advice, but the guy said "You're the Vet I figured you knew what you were talking about." My dad asked what happened to the cat. The fellow said. "Well the last time I saw it, it was running over the hill with six other cats. Two were digging, two were covering and two were scouting new territory!" *


* Edit Caution: Story to be taken with a tablespoon of salt.