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Oldgringo wrote:

suthdj wrote:i have thought about setting him up in a hotel room when he is 18 just to get him out and to put him close to many jobs might cost a few hundred but worth it.

It appears to this curmudgeon that it is past time to be thinking about putting him up anywhere and time to think about your wife, who has apparently been driven abroad by your son and your refusal/inability to deal with the situation.

It's ball check and choice time. Nobody can do it but you, just do it - one way or the other!

You asked...

You can not "deal" with a situation you can not control, he has no regard for anyone or himself. I am not going to let myself be drug down to a level that ends up with me in jail or a hospital and trust me those are the options when dealing with him. The law is no help at all since he has been on probation he has been to jail 2 times and the system won't do anything but put him on electronic monitoring which locks him up at home that is just punishment for me. The judge says don't do X,Y,Z and he does that and more. I could get him locked up in a drug rehab until he is 18 but then when he is done in less then a month, I still have to let him back in my house and I will still have to evict him and deal with whatever revenge he decides to extract during that time. Walk in my shoes for awhile then come back and talk about refusal/inability and ball checks. Bottom Line is I am doing what I can to keep my sanity until he is out of my house so I can move on with my life. Despite what parents think a child allows you control over their life, as he likes to point out "what are you going to do" Stop and think about those words the reality is you have no real control unless you want to get physical which will lead to you going to jail. Just not worth it!

i have thought about setting him up in a hotel room when he is 18 just to get him out and to put him close to many jobs might cost a few hundred but worth it.

Dave2 wrote:

suthdj wrote:My current wife has made it clear he is not welcome here when he is 18, she is currently in China to avoid him and his influence on my 3yo. It is in general a lose lose for me.

If I'm avoiding someone, I, too, like to hangout somewhere with good food, but halfway around the world seems a bit excessive...

At least you'll be able to kick him out again in a month. And you might want to talk the police into have a few officers hanging out if your son really is as belligerent as you've made him sound.

LOL, she is Chinese and her family is there.

Keith B wrote:Sounds like he needs professional help to get past this, and that will need to include family counseling for all. The first thing that will need to happen is for him to admit he has a severe problem and want to get past this, then you will all need to help him acheive that goal. Prayers for him and you to get past this and on the road to recovery and healing.

He has been seeing a shrink however only because his PO made him, you know the saying about "leading a horse to water".

apostate wrote:

suthdj wrote:My 17yo son moved out about a month ago reality is setting in and he wants to move back here, I really don't want him here he is trouble with no end in sight. Do I have to let him back in my house?

Several people have answered the question of what they believe you should do. Here are my thoughts on the question you asked.

The Texas Family Code says (151.001) a parent has "the duty to support the child, including providing the child with clothing, food, shelter, medical and dental care, and education" and also says (261.001) neglect includes "the failure by the person responsible for a child's care, custody, or welfare to permit the child to return to the child's home without arranging for the necessary care for the child after the child has been absent from the home for any reason, including having been in residential placement or having run away."

There are various definitions for child in Texas law, but the one closest seems to be in Title 5, Subtitle A, Chapter 101 of the Texas Family Code: ""Child" or "minor" means a person under 18 years of age who is not and has not been married or who has not had the disabilities of minority removed for general purposes."

That said, I hesitate to draw conclusions. IANAL and to me, the Family Code makes the Penal Code look clear and concise.

Thank you, I knew when I asked the question I would get a lot of responses and few answers, that being said all are appreciated.

A little history he has assaulted me 3 times ticketed once,arrested once(21 days in jail), and the last time I did not bother to call police I was driving him to hospital for his drug over indulgence when he punched me and broke my nose not to mention his over all general attitude, which is a know it all gangsta with no respect for anyone or anything and he is on juvenile probation(They do nothing). He was living in a house with a meth addict and a metal case who assaulted him twice(poetic justice) he saw what the drug was doing and wanted out of that situation. I let him move his stuff back in today but I think he is going to end up back on the street when he is 18(1 month) his mother refused to let him stay with her. My current wife has made it clear he is not welcome here when he is 18, she is currently in China to avoid him and his influence on my 3yo. It is in general a lose lose for me.

My 17yo son moved out about a month ago reality is setting in and he wants to move back here, I really don't want him here he is trouble with no end in sight. Do I have to let him back in my house?