TexasCHLforum.com

Did you hear about the Texas Aggie girl who was pregnant and worried?
She was afraid it wasn't hers.
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The scientists have invented French poodles that can talk.
The first one said "I HATE my hair like this!!"
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The cigarette industry recently conducted a study.
They found that 9 out of 10 woment that have tried Camels prefer men.
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John Elway has just gotten a role in the OJ Simpson movie.
He's going to play the slow white Bronco.
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Do you know how to come out of the current recession as a millionaire?
Start out as a billionaire.
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What do you call a 1-legged American woman? Eileen.
What do you call a 1-legged Japanese woman? Irene.
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Cross country skiing is a lot easier if you live in a small country
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What are the 2 happiest days in a boater's life?
The day he BUYS his boat and the day he SELLS his boat.

SIA

Q. Do you know why you'd never starve to death in a desert?
A. Because of all the sand which is there. (say this fast)
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Q. Do you know how marriage is like a game of cards?
A. You start off with 2 hearts and a diamond,
but by the time you get through you want a club and a spade.
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A man is talking to God and asks "why did you make women
so beautiful?"
God replies: So that you'll love them!
Man: But why did you make women so stupid?
God: So that they'll love you!
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A man walks into the grocery store and finds a blond
woman staring at the orange juice intently.
He: What are you doing?
Blonde, pointing at the OJ: It says "concentrate".
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A man is shopping for a Corvette and finds a curent year
model in great condition for only $100.
He zooms over to the house and buys it from the lady for $100.
It was perfect. He asks her "Why did you sell me this perfect
Corvette for only $100?"
She: My husband ran away with his secretary to Florida and he
told me to sell the car and send him the money!
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2 Alabama friends were avid fishermen and they had fished
every stretch of water in their state. They speculated on what kind
of unique fishing they could do, and hit upon driving up to Minnesota
in the middle of winter to do some of that there ice fishing.
They got up to Minnie-sota when the temperature was +10 degrees,
stopped in to the local bait shop, bought some bait and icepicks,
and left.
Several hours later they came back to the bait shop.
Clerk: So, have you boys caught anything yet?
Alabaman: Heck, no, we haven't even got the boat in the lake yet!!
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SIA

Dateline: East Texas.
A DPS trooper pulls over a young local teenager for speeding.
Trooper: Son, do you have any ID?
Driver : 'Bout what trooper?
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A LEO pulls over a man for DWI.
LEO: I've been following you for a quarter of a mile and it's obvious
that you have been drinking! Why are you driving?
Motorist: Officer, I'm too drunk to WALK!
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A kangaroo goes into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender brings him a beer and says "That will be $15.00".
The kangaroo pays it and starts drinking the beer.
When things got slow, the bartender came back over to the kangaroo
and said "You know, we hardly ever get any kangaroos in here!"
The kangaroo replied "$15 a beer and you're surprised???"
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A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender asks "Hey, why the long face?"

(This joke also works with "Celine Dion/Sarah Jessica Parker" walk
into a bar.)
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Did you hear that the scientists have invented French poodles that talk?
The first one said "I HATE my hair like this!!!"
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Do you know the difference between a violin and a viola?
Violas burn longer.
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Did you hear about the homeless man who put Odor Eaters in his shoes?
He took 3 steps and disappeared.
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The US Navy has been assisting the Polish Navy in improving their
submarine fleet.
The first thing to be replaced was the screen doors.
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US Navy men say that if a Coast Guard ship sinks, the Coasties can
just swim to shore.
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Two men from elsewhere in Texas are driving on US 84, east of Waco.
They enter the town of "Mexia" (properly pronounced Muh-hay-uh).
One man says "Hey, this town is called "Mex-ee-uh".
His friend says "No, this town is called "Muh-hay-uh".
They bicker about how to say the town's name and stop in that town
to eat.
When the waitress comes, the man who knew how to say the town's
name asked her if she was a local.
Why yes, I am.
Well, then, would you please tell my friend where we are?
She bent down to the man's face and slowly said "Dairy Queen".
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SIA