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I just bought a 2013 Tundra CrewMax in 4x4 with the 5.7l engine. Absolutely LOVE it so far. I've been looking for a while, and this was the choice for me - none of the others brands had what I wanted for the money. Oddly enough, when I looked at comparably equipped trucks listed on Chevy's website, the Silverado came out as the most expensive! If you go with the Tundra, the back-up camera is a MUST. That thing is awesome! Grid lines and everything on the rearview mirror when you drop it into R.

Mine is a 5-seater automatic, but you can get it with 6 seats, too. No center console and the shifter on the steering column.

Anywho...I just looked in my manual at the towing schedule and here are the numbers. Based on your criteria, I'm giving you the 4x4 5.7l engine numbers WITH the towing package. The numbers are the same for the Flex-Fuel and non-Flex-Fuel V8s. With 3 kids, I'd strongly suggest the CrewMax. My 2 are 10 and 12, and in the Double Cab their knees were already touching the back of the front seats. The CrewMax has an OBSCENE amount of legroom in the back - at the expense of a foot of bed length, though:

Double Cab Standard Bed: GCWR 16,000 lb, TWR 9700 lb.
Double Cab Long Bed: GCWR 16,000 lb; TWR 9800 lb.

CrewMax Short Bed: GCWR 15,300 lb; TWR 9000 lb.