From what little you said, I would gather that your wife fits into the former. I would try to get her to go to a class specifically designed for rape defense, but not for the training.
Women generally talk to each other, they are far better networkers than men generally are... it just possible that in such a class your wife would come to know the pain of the misfortune of others who were equally blind. It just might be what she needs to wake up to reality.
It would not be the complete solution, but it would start her thinking on that path and it would come from a much more credible source than yourself. With blinders at least partially off, she would have to grapple with the issues of the need for better self defense methods than just hand-to-hand fighting and that is the new point of view you can work with...
