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I think you did as well as anyone could expect to do under the circumstances, given that you had no time to prep, very little time to react, and your family sitting in the car with you. I think the key here is that you stuck firmly within the bounds of a sensible and justifiable response. Drawing up on the guy would likely have transformed you into the aggressor, since you would have been meeting a possible threat of force with a definite threat of force. Even if you'd brandished and he'd immediately fled, the way is then clear for him to get on the phone and dial 911 to report that some crazy guy just drew a gun on him and his family. Warning him away like you did, while preparing to draw and fire, was absolutely the most appropriate response.

You've already touched on possibly not rolling down the window--the more I think about it, the more I agree that the window probably should have stayed up. You know Tueller, and you know that it's going to take you about 1.5 seconds to produce your gun, acquire a sight picture, and fire a round; if this guy had decided to charge your car and go for you, having to break out your window with his hands (or a bat or a tire iron or whatever) could have given you a few more slivers of time to put him between the posts. However, with the window up, you also lose the opportunity to loudly and clearly warn the guy away, which I think was a good idea to do. So, window down was not necessarily a bad thing, but I think you lose more than you gain. If worst comes to worst and the guy is absolutely committed to doing you harm, the extra time it would take to smash the window--maybe he needs an extra swing with the tire iron--could provide the time you need to stop the threat.

Good job keeping your family safe. You didn't lose your cool. seamusTX's comment about these kinds of people being bullies is spot-on. When you didn't react by going wide-eyed and throwing up your hands, the guy likely lost some of his nerve. Facing down someone is easy when you feel you have the upper hand; facing down someone who appears collected and focused, and who's leaning forward with their right hand behind them on their hip...that's enough to give anyone pause.