Get a Smith &Wesson 642 , it light and small, NO FUN AT THE RANGE THOUGH.
[I've found it's very difficult for women to carry. Their slim body and tight fit cloth provide little space to hide.
My 32 year old daughter, who fits the tall and slim description at about 5'9" and 110lb, favors the Kahr PM4043 which fits nicely into her wardrobe and carry preferences. For those who prefer a little less recoil, the 9MM version should fit the bill nicely.
But that's my daughter, and each woman is different. I suggest that each shooter start his or her selection by establishing caliber criteria based on solid information first, because is the variable that most influences fight stopping performance when all other factors are equal. Most knowledgeable folks who have seen a lot of shooting incidents up close and personal recommend .38, 9mm, .40S&W, or .45. The .380 is accepted with reservations by some, but to me it's an unnecessary compromise because there are high quality 9MM pistols that deliver more power behind the same size projectile in the same size guns.
Why are these rounds better than those seductive tiny cartridges that fit in little guns that just disappear in the front pocket of jeans? The simple answer is that larger caliber gives better fight stopping performance when you place bullets in the same places on a hostile adversary, and the differences in outcome between these and the .22 / .25 / .32 family of cartridges is in orders of magnitude.
No woman should allow her horizons to be limited by the hype that any of the .38 / 9MM / .40S&W / .45 rounds are "too powerful for a woman to handle". If someone uses that line, forward them the link to 11 year old McKenzie's videos posted elsewhere in this thread - and reevaluate his or her credibility as an information source. My kids were shooting all these calibers (and .357 magnums as well) before they were 10 and doing well with them, and they continue to do so today.
Everyone should absolutely try before you buy, , and try lots of different types of guns. Insist on trying anything that fits your hand, and don't let anyone narrow your choices for you. You can rent a lot of guns at a well equipped range for about $10 per session before you come anywhere near the cost of an untested buying decision you'd regret the first time you pull the trigger because it had some characteristic you couldn't know about (like the comment about recoil with the S&W 642) without shooting it. You'll end up either not using that gun, or selling it at a considerable loss and starting over. Renting guns and handing them back over the counter at the end of the hour has lots of advantages. You'll very quickly narrow down what you like to a few choices, and probably find the final decision a little hard because there will be more than one you could be happy with.