Scott Farkus wrote:The Annoyed Man wrote:An excellent book, by the way, and I believe a fairly accurate portrayal of where California will be in 10 years from now.
This is really sad for me, as I came here from California in 2006. In the 10-1/2 years I've lived here, my youngest brother has never come to visit me here. My middle brother stopped by once for 45 minutes after I picked him up at DFW, because his band had a Dallas gig that night. My mother came once in early 2007 to see our home, and once again in 2012 when my son got married. But that's it. Otherwise, ALL of my contact with my family has been because my wife and I either drove or flew to California to touch bases with them. It's been very one-sided, and it breaks my heart because I love my family. If I stop going there to visit, it will mean that I stop seeing them pretty much entirely, but I don't know how much longer I'm willing to do that. It has been an enormous, and very one-sided, expense for me to do so. Whether it is airfare and hotels, or driving and an RV, it costs LOT of money to maintain that relationship, and I'm drawing near to the end of how long I'm willing to pay for that.
The formerly great state of California's recent forays into fascism has only served to cement my reluctance. I suspect that once my mom has passed (she's 92 now and quite frail), I'll give my brothers the message that some reciprocity would be nice, and see how they take to the idea.
I'm not trying to pry, and if this is too personal of a question please say so, but why don't your siblings come to visit? Is it a monetary issue for them or do they just despise Texas so much they won't set foot here?
I think it is a combination of factors. I think part of it is just their priorities. I suspect that part of it is that, since I'm the one who moved away, they think it's on me to visit them, not the other way around.
My middle brother's band plays gigs in Texas occasionally, but he doesn't make any effort to fit a visit in when he does. I found out on Facebook a couple of weeks ago that they were in Houston for a one night show, but had no idea that he was in Texas until I saw the post. I'd have driven down there to see him if I had known.
My youngest brother told me once on the phone when I asked why he doesn't come and visit some time, that he would only make the trip for two occasions - my son's wedding, and/or my funeral......and he didn't come to my son's wedding, even though I offered to put him and his wife up either at my house or in the hotel of his choice. I think that he gets way out of his comfort zone if he feels like he's not the one in control of whatever is going on.
My mom is 92 and frail, and although she likes to travel, she's more interested in exotic places than "mere" Texas.
While my youngest brother more or less shares my political outlook, my middle brother and my mother are both pretty far to the left, and I'm sure that they probably view most of Texas a some sort of cultural wasteland, and Texans as people who cling to their guns and their religion, and who are afraid of people who are different from them. And yet, my youngest brother would rather live a marginalized existence as a libertarian leaning conservative in California, than to risk the unknown of moving somewhere even slightly lest fascist. Heck, he has inlaws and a step son in Nevada, and could easily transition there if he wanted to, but he won't. Heck, he's spending Christmas in Las Vegas with his brother in law and step son.
And in all fairness to both of my brothers, they also both stay in California because, all politics aside, that's where my mom is, and they take good care of her. But that doesn't rule out visits here if they wanted to make the effort. They don't seem to want to.
