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schufflerbot wrote:"this is your life, good to the last drop. It doesn't get any better than this and it's ending - one minute at a time." - Tyler Durden

"What's the first rule of Fight Club? Don't talk about Fight Club."

Divided Attention wrote:"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

--Robert Heinlein

Specifically from Lazarus Long, in Heinlein's Time Enough for Love.

Oldgringo wrote:TAM, did you puposefully leave out Pogo's immortal observation of, "We have met the enemy... and he is us"?

It's as true today as it was in the Okefenokee Swamp of yesteryear...I think.

Not purposefully, no. I had forgotten that one.

Here are a few of mine:

"Never tell people how to do things. Just tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity" - GEN. George S. Patton Jr.

"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." - Noel Coward

"Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles." - Frank Lloyd Wright

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard." - H. L. Mencken

"Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original and the part that is original is not good." - Samuel Johnson

"Never eat more than you can lift." - Miss Piggy

"If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm." - Vince Lombardi

"Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock." - Will Rogers

"I never did give anybody hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell." - Harry S. Truman

"Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. " - G. K. Chesterton

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it. " - Voltaire

"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. " - Mark Twain

"To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am." - Bernard M. Baruch

"When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half." - Gracie Allen

"The purpose of life is to fight maturity." - Dick Werthimer

"I was born not knowing, and have had only a little time to change that here and there." - Richard Feynman

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there." - Herb Caen

"The future will be better tomorrow. " - Dan Quayle

"I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts." - Will Rogers

"What’s another word for “thesaurus?”" - Steven Wright

"When I die, I’m going to leave my body to science fiction." - Steven Wright

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breath through their noses when they’re eating sandwiches." - Jim Carrey

"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives." - Sue Murphy

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time." - Steven Wright

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes. " - Oscar Wilde

"I drink to make other people interesting. " - George Jean Nathan

"I drive way to fast to worry about cholesterol." - Steven Wright

"I’ve got all the money I need if I die by 4 o’clock this afternoon." - Henny Youngman

"Having a family is like having a bowling ball installed in your head." - Martin Mull

"The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass. " - Martin Mull

"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy." - H.L. Mencken

"The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence." - H.L. Mencken

"When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick." - George Burns

"You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and you wonder what else you could do while you’re down there." - George Burns

"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." - Dave Barry

"I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time.” So, I ordered French toast during the renaissance." - Steven Wright

"The best defense against the Atom Bomb is not to be there when it goes off." - Anonymous

"Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

"Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

"Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another’s resemblance to ourselves." - Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

"From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put." - Sir Winston Churchill

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Sir Winston Churchill

"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room." - Sir Winston Churchill

"How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?" - Charles De Gaulle

"I think; therefore I am." - René Descartes

"If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith." - Albert Einstein

"Things are more like they are now than they ever were before." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

"I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy." - W.C. Fields

"Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch." - W.C. Fields

"I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead." - Samuel Goldwyn

"An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support." - John Buchan

"I wore this frock coat in Washington, before the war. We wore them because we belonged to the Five Civilized Tribes. We dressed ourself up like Abraham Lincoln. You know, we got to see the Secretary of the Interior. He said, "Boy! You boys sure look civilized!" He congratulated us, and he gave us medals for looking so civilized. We told him about how our land had been stolen. Our people were dying. When we finished, he shook our hands and said, "Endeavor to persevere." They stood us in a line--John Jumper, Junior McIntosh, Buffalo Hump, Jim Pockmark, and me. I'm Lone Watie. They took our pictures, and the newspapers said, "Indians Vow to Endeavor to Persevere." We thought about it for a long time. "Endeavor to persevere". And when we had thought about it long enough, we declared war on the Union." - Lone Wate, The Outlaw Jose Wales