randomoutburst, thank-you for raising this topic. My wife and I are having a similar conversation about her carry methods. Purse carry isn't always a good choice for her, and like you, she has a fannypack but is fashion conscious and doesn't always want to use it. She has a nice leather owb holster for her 642, but a) she doesn't want to buy a gunbelt because they aren't feminine enough, and b) because she would rather carry her G19.
I don't know how to help her, because I am merely a man, and apparently I don't understand anything.
Anyway, I'm going to show her this thread. I will tell you this... I know Crossfire, and I know she always has at least one gun on her - maybe more - at any given time, and no matter what she's wearing, you can't tell she's armed. I'd listen to her advice.