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You Are What You Eat

A doctor was addressing a large audience at the Sons of Norway Hall in Ballard, Washington.

"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG.

"High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, and we all have -- or will -- eat it.

"Would anyone care to guess what food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"

After several seconds of quiet, Ole Larsen, an 85-year-old man in the front row raised his hand and offered ... "Vedding cake?"

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Nordic Heroism...

One dark night outside of Mt. Vernon, Washington, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.

The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All of our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact." But the roaring flames held the firefighters off.

Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Sons of Norway Rural Township Volunteer Fire Company composed mainly of Norwegian-Americans over the age of 70. To everyone's amazement, the little run-down fire engine, operated by these Norwegians, passed all the newer sleek engines parked outside the plant ...and drove straight into the middle of the inferno.

Outside the other firemen watched as the Norwegians jumped off and began to fight the fire with a performance and effort never seen before. Within a short time, the Norwegians had extinguished the fire and saved the secret formulas.

The grateful chemical company president joyfully announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave Norse fire fighters.

The local TV news reporters rushed in after capturing the event on film asking, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 80-year-old fire chief, "da furst ting vedo is fix da brakes on dat truck!"

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