TexasCHLforum.com

mr.72 wrote:This is not a situation only involving me, and my brother. but my parents, my children, and my brother's children are also in the potential picture, so my brother's behavior would be all about a misguided protective streak. My brother is 2 years younger than I am and he and I have a long history of making opposite choices. A heart-to-heart from me will not help any. He would do the opposite of what I suggest.

It sounds pretty complicated, and I understand why you don't want to go into details in public. I wouldn't want to either, given the value I place on my family's privacy.

[just kidding]
It may be counter-intuitive, but maybe telling your brother, "Whatever you do, don't get therapy!" might help?
[/just kidding]

Seriously though, it sounds like a difficult situation for you.

First, I honestly have no idea of what I'm going to say next has anything to do with your particular situation, but this is just what came to my mind on reading this thread.

I'd slap my brother (the 2nd party) to get his attention if necessary, and drag him away from the confrontation with the 3rd party. A big man can walk away from a verbal confrontation, secure in the knowledge that he's the better man. That's how you de-escalate. If possible, you walk away. It it is a small man who invests so much of his own ego in the situation that he can't walk away from it if possible. Who cares what anybody else thinks about it? Once you're outside, then you can call the law and get it on record that the 3rd party is an aggressor. If the 3rd party persists in being a jerk and persists in trying escalate the situation, he just winds up looking like the fool that he is. That also leaves you as the 1st party in a much better position to justify use of lethal force in defense of the 2rd party should the 3rd party produce a roscoe and start waving it around.

But also, my brothers are all grown up and fully capable of making their own decisions, even if they are stupid decisions. Fortunately, neither of them is a stupid man, and both are secure enough in their own identities that they don't need to engage in contests of urinary azimuth and range with foolish strangers.

...at least that's what I was thinking.