TexasCHLforum.com

nitrogen wrote:

The Annoyed Man wrote: nitrogen, I think you did the right thing by skedaddling like you did, but I would offer a couple of comments on your own situation...

1) Unless you are in a job in which the risk of exposure to aggressive jerks is higher than normal, say LEO or Paramedic, or something like that, it is NOT normal to frequently get challenged by aggressive jerks. So I think you need to talk to some of your closer friends, and ask them, "Be honest with me, do I seem to ask for trouble?" It may well be that they see something in you that you either can't, or won't see in yourself, and their input might be instructive. But be prepared to hear something that you're not going to like hearing, and also be honest enough to deal with it appropriately if you do.

Funny you mention this. I Was talking to an old friend of mine today, and he basically said that I tend to "stare people down" when entering an area. I've always chalked it up to just being aware of my surroundings, but he said it tends to freak people out.

nitrogen, just FYI, in gang circles, staring someone down is called "mad-dogging," and it is considered a challenge and a legitimate incitement to violence. There are parts of L.A. (where I'm from) that mad-dogging will get you killed fast. If the bonehead that gave you such a bad time the other night was a gangbanger, he might have misinterpreted your stare as "mad-dogging." Perhaps, particularly since you said you usually wear sunglasses, you might practice averting your gaze a bit when you are sizing up an area, and observing from your peripheral vision. The guy being observed is probably less likely to take it as directed at him.

I'm not suggesting that this particular incident was your fault. It wasn't. And even if you were staring the guy down, it's no excuse to go all cattywaumpus and freaky on you like he did. He's obviously a jerk.

Anyway, that would be my suggestion.

I'm not a guy that people normally try to mess with. I don't know why that is, except that maybe its perhaps I usually fly low and avoid the radar, and when I do interact with others, it's usually with a smile and a friendly disposition. But at age 55, I have run into 2 or 3 bozos over the years.

It hasn't happened since I've lived here in Texas, but once about 3 years ago, someone pulled a gun on me in California. It was a road rage thing. He was ticked off because we both pulled into the left lane at exactly the same time to pass a slow moving bus, but he was behind me, so he to wait for me to clear the bus before he could get past it. At first, I didn't even realize the guy was mad at me. We both arrived at the next light at almost the same time, facing La Tuna Canyon Road, but he was about 1/2 a car length in front of me in the right hand lane. I heard something, and when I looked over, I realized that he was yelling something at me. I rolled down my passenger window and asked "what did you say?"

He said, "You cut me off, man!" To which I replied "No, I didn't." He then cut loose a long string of profanity. At that point, the mistake I made was that I should have just rolled up the window and ignored him. Instead, when he was finished, I said, "You're crazy." He then brandished a large frame semi-auto of some kind (from that distance between cars, I couldn't tell exactly what kind of gun it was) and shouted, "You want some of THIS???? Pull over!!" I waved him off and said that I wasn't going to pull over with crazy man and then I rolled up my window.

When the light turned green, he crossed through the intersection and, sure enough, pulled over. I blew past him, and he pulled back into traffic to follow me, but I had managed to put a bunch of slower moving cars between us. I ran up that canyon road at my smartest pace, hit the freeway at the top, and was a gone daddy. Never saw him again.

In those days, I seldom ever had a gun in the car and I was unarmed. I also was not into a situational awareness mindset so much. That event changed that, and I've always been more careful about my surroundings since then. And since having gone through the CHL application process, my situational awareness level has increased quite a bit.

nitrogen, I think you did the right thing by skedaddling like you did, but I would offer a couple of comments on your own situation...

1) Unless you are in a job in which the risk of exposure to aggressive jerks is higher than normal, say LEO or Paramedic, or something like that, it is NOT normal to frequently get challenged by aggressive jerks. So I think you need to talk to some of your closer friends, and ask them, "Be honest with me, do I seem to ask for trouble?" It may well be that they see something in you that you either can't, or won't see in yourself, and their input might be instructive. But be prepared to hear something that you're not going to like hearing, and also be honest enough to deal with it appropriately if you do.

2) If it is not you, then you need to be more aware about the choices you make as to where you go, and when you do it. Avoid putting yourself into situations where this stuff can happen. What time was it when you went to that gas station? What part of town was in in? How well do you blend into the area the station was in? How were you dressed? What do you drive? There are all kind of factors that can set one up for confrontation, whether or not a confrontation is what you desire.

All of this is part of that continuum between self-awareness and situational awareness, and if this kind of stuff happens to you frequently, it isn't normal, and you need to do some sober thinking about why it's happening, or sooner or later it's going to catch up with you. That's my 2¢. Best of luck in the future.