This is pretty sage advice, and mirrors how my parents handled my paternal grandparents, my grandmother in particular.ELB wrote: . . . I do think that regardless of their opinions, you deserve to be treated with respect. To me that means you don't need to be berated everytime (or every other time, or every third time) you meet up with them. They've made their positions clear, I believe you have made your position clear, and neither is likely to change. T'were it me, I would do some heavy consultation with the wife, and then make it clear, emphatically clear, to the in-laws that you are not going to tolerate being badgered, and if they can't let up, cut off further contact until they can behave . . .
I won't get into too much detail, but she thought she ought to be clan matriarch, and everyone had to do as she said. And if they DIDN'T, all the regular visits became non-stop badgering. Finally my folks had enough, and told her if she didn't cease and desist, they were going to leave.
This brought on another bout of criticism . . . so they cut the visit short and left. Immediately.
Happened a couple of times before Gramma caught on, but it got to the point where not seeing her was less unpleasant than enduring her constant carping.
Think about it.