When I first got a chl, my wife asked many of the same questions... I simply told her that it wouldn't be something she'd notice much (if at all) and as long as she didn't make it an issue, it wouldn't be. I never put it on in front of her and she never once noticed the gun. She often asked why I wasn't carrying- which I was and that surprised her because she didn't notice or see any difference in me. (except I no longer ordered a beer with dinner out)
Within a year she started checking to make sure I had it when we went out. Within 5 years, she had her own CHL. She still doesn't carry daily but were getting closer.
You won't win her over immediately, but if you respect her concerns and act accordingly, I think you'll win her over soon enough.
