TexasCHLforum.com

RexB has not been here very long so he does not yet know how gracious everyone here is. Probably heard some of that on another forum.
Be sure Rex, we are glad to have you & I promice, you can ask the simplest question from a new carryer to any of the old hands on this forum & you will receive help & encouragement.
Welcome aboard.
LT.

Not considered excessive here. Good job.

Paladin, We as pieceful law abiding citizens have spent our lives in right thinking. We many times hear something & know that is not right, but cannot articulate what is wrong.
Another point of same bad thinking.
The social worker, Dana Gilbert, also said, "she would hate to see a confrontation but if someone feels safer & more empowered, that's good."
From her statement, the no confrontation is the responsibility of the victim not the assailant. This social worker has suggested that she first throw paper wads at the rapist to keep him from raping again or gaining revenge some other way.
If 20 yr in prison, & the law against rape & the sentence against revenge does not keep him away then 5 sheets of paper will not either, no matter what is written on them. I have actually seen one throw them on the ground & never seen anyone read them, on the few times I have been present for the serving. No doubt you LEs have seen it hundreds of times.
I spent 30+yrs counselling victims. Not as many as she I am sure. This counsellor tells her in session, & the discussion will go something like this:
"This was not your fault. You did not cause this.
Yes Maam. This was not my fault. I did not cause this.
As she pays big bucks & leaves the counselling session.
Now if he returns try not to confront him.
She tore down everything she accomplished in session.
Ladies & gentlemen there is no doubt in my mind why this lady still has to have someone drive here to work. She too is not able to articulate this, but she still knows in her spirit that no one has done anything wrong until SHE CONFRONTS HIM. No one in this article has said to the rapist, dont confront her!!!

Here is what I teach victims that fear retaliation whether it is domestic violence or revenge for testimony.
LE or Councellor that rejects self defense for calling the police: Get the restraining order/portective order. Call the police & don't confront him.
victim: You personally go tell him to stay away from me. I have not confronted him. You go tell him & make him not confront me.
LE/councellor...: We can't be with him every where all the time.
victim: You cant be w/ me & you can't be with him but you tell me not to confront him. Go tell him not to confront me. If he does I will defend myself immediately.
Don't take the law into your own hands. I don't I am not going after him. When he confronts me that is self defense not TAKING THE LAW INTO MY HANDS. He is taking the law into his own hand & throwing it away. Go tell him to obey the law. I am obeying the law by staying away. I am defending myself at his confrontation not TAKING THE LAW INTO MY OWN HANDS.
This is a lengthy process & has to be practiced over & over so it will be the response when the Q. is asked. So it will be the understanding in the heart of the victim.
Sounds like mental training & it is.

He does not blame her after the fact, but does not want her to have one before the fact. Where is there any since in a statement like that?
It is not OK to defend ones self against a 1st rape, but is "understandable" to defend against a second.